I have returned from the theatre.
Ugh.
I would rather find blood in my stool than watch this movie again.
These dragons are apparently immune to the laws of physics; how are they possibly flying under their own power? They are too big and heavy to sustain flight, and their wings, full of holes, and woefully short in relation to their body size, would never have supported them. Their bone structure looks suspiciously modern-day reptilian. The wing attachments appear tenuous at best, looking very likely to be forcibly ripped from their bodies in a strong wind. Also, their skeletal structure is not compatible with flight; the wings appear to be attached to the back of the animal, as opposed to the stronger ‘shoulder’ muscles. Their breastbones are not keeled in the fashion of modern-day birds and bats, or even prehistoric flying ‘reptiles’ such as the pteranodon.
Their reproductive strategy is ludicrous, as is their diet. One male and thousands of females? No living chordate pursues this reproductive strategy; most social insects do not either, a ‘crop’ of males being bred every season. A lone male would not have the werewithal to impregnant thousands of females; while capable of producing enough sperm, he simply would not have the time to distribute it. He would have to spend almost all of his time copulating with his harem, an activity that, even if quick, would use up much of his energy, and take up time that he could use to gather food.
Which brings me to their diet: ash?!? Are you fucking serious? Nothing eats ash- it is the product of burning, and therefore has little to no nutrition. All vertebrates require certain basic nutrients that cannot be acquired in any fashion other than the consumption of organic material. Ash is not organic. It does not constitute ‘food’ by any definition.
Their supposed ‘hibernation’ is itself completely unfathomable. 65 million years of ‘suspended animation’ is not in accordance with anything we know about the physiology of higher lifeforms. It’s doubtful that bacteria would still be reproductively viable after this long, although this has recently been challenged in scientific journals. No vertebrate, or even invertebrate would be capable of this feat of endurance. Furthermore, the movie claims this hibernation came about due to starvation. (Not enough ash to go around, apparently.) If they entered hibernation in a weakened state, the stress of the experience would surely have killed them. The phsyiological stree of hibernation or even aestivation places extreme stress on an organism; lack of observable activity does not translate to no activity at all. The body’s processes must continue to function, including supplying nutrients and oxygen to the blood to maintain organ functioning; even at greatly decreased levels, the body must use stored reserves to accomplish this. Not enough stores = death.
I will not even get into the whole “fire-breathing” thing. Implausable, to say the least. (And don’t try the old bombradier beetle argument, either; it’s a completely different process, and does not result in actual flame.) Although I will grudging award the writers some points for the “two chemicals” hypothesis, which seems slightly more feasible, as it looks based on the luminescent abilities of fireflies. Although without an ignition source, there’d be no fire. But then, a merely glowing dragon, while aesthetically pleasing, would hardly be very threatening.
Ugh. What can I say? I feel my intelligence has been insulted by this movie’s attempt at a ‘scientific’ explanation for the dragons. It feels like the writers decided that since they could wow intellectually bereft audiences with relentless explosions and macho posturing, the stupefied viewers would eagerly swallow any hare-brained theories they could cook up. It’s like they weren’t even trying. Why must this basic ignorance of physiology continue unabated? Where are the even marginally plausible monster movies? I weep for the future of cinema.
And Christian Bale! I am appalled at his recent career choices. So promising in Empire of the Sun; it’s been an uninterrupted downward trajectory from there.
