Reimagine your favorite fictional characters as professional athletes

This is a game my friends and I came up with during the World Series this year. As both sports fans and geeks, we wondered what some of our favorite characters from TV, movies, and comics might have been had they decided to pursue careers in professional sports. For a given character, we chose a sport and then used what we know of their personality, strengths and weaknesses, history, etc and came up with what seemed like a reasonable extrapolation of their sports career (including, because we are HUGE nerds, statistics).

So I bring our geeky game to the SDMB. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters and what might they be like as athletes? Feel free to draw from any work of fiction.

To get things started, here are some of my contributions to a hypothetical Toronto Blue Jays team, featuring characters from the “Scott Pilgrim” graphic novels.

Scott Pilgrim (Right-Handed Starting Pitcher)
Rating = Awesome

This 24-year old power pitcher features otherworldly stuff - a 100 mph four-seamer that bursts into flames on the way to the plate, a curveball that has been known to loop-the-loop, and an 80-85mph changeup. As might be expected, Scott strikes out an incredible number of hitters, but his lackluster control means that he gives up more than his fair share of walks as well. His strength and endurance allow him to go deep into games, and compensate for his tendency to run up the pitch count. Scott also has an unfortunate tendency to buckle in high-pressure situations, and his manager has long since learned to have a quick hook if Scott gets himself into a late-inning jam. However, if Scott can get his mental demons under control, he has the potential to throw complete games with regularity.

ERA: 2.09
WHIP: 1.110
K/9: 12.3
BB/9: 4.7

Ramona Flowers (American Ninja Center Fielder)
Rating = Mysterious

Ramona recently signed with Toronto after spending several years in New York. She is rumored to have a close relationship with Yankees general manager Gideon Graves, but refuses to talk about it. She has impressive speed thanks to her rollerblades and mastery of subspace, and uses this to cover vast amounts of ground on the field. Not surprisingly, she is also a constant stolen-base threat. As a hitter, Ramona doesn’t have great plate discipline, as she’s known to swing at just about anything, even pitches so bad they could be described as “evil.” She compensates with excellent power to all fields (apparently she practices her swings using a giant hammer during the offseason).

Batting line: .304/.332/.649
SB/season: 65
HR/season: 42
UZR/150: 10.8

Kim Pine (Ambidextrous Relief Pitcher)
Rating = Misanthropic

A true “relief ace,” Kim is the ultimate support pitcher, capable of eating up innings as the long man out of the pen (necessary when Scott has the occasional meltdown) or closing games with brutal efficiency. Her slight stature prevents her from attaining overpowering velocity, but she makes up for this with pin-point control and a unique repertoire that includes a hard-biting slider, a cutter she learned from Mariano Rivera, and a knuckleball. Growing up in the boonies, she spent a lot of her time alone in the woods throwing rocks, and as a result has developed uncanny precision and accuracy, able to paint the edges of the strike zone with ease. Oh yeah, and as a drummer in her free time, Kim can throw with both hands. She’s been known to switch sides between pitches just to screw with a batter.

ERA: 1.13
WHIP: 0.837
K/9: 9.2
BB/9: 0.5
Ground ball percentage: 62%

Bugs Bunny. Absolutely invincible. Can play all nine positions – at once!