Even better, start with the marathon! Or, best of all, make them do events along the way (like a demented version of those jogging trails with little workout stations along the way that were popular in the late 70s).
Pole dancing. The gold medal goes to whoever has the most dollar bills in her G-string at the end of a set.
I always thought the drinking and shooting biathalon would be interesting.
My suggestion would be very simple:
Every race comes with red shells.
I say keep the events the same, but randomly assign the athletes.
“So, you’ve spent most of your 16 years training for gymnastics? Well grab some shoes sweetie, because you drew the 100-meter dash. Stop crying, you’re up against two archers, a badminton player and a weightlifter. So you’ll win anyway. Besides, think about the poor fencer who’s going to water polo.”
Imagine Michael Phelps doing that little ribbon dancing thing.
I will never be able to un-imagine that :dubious:
Remove one event from the Heptathlon, then it would be the Sextathlon.
The designers of the women’s beach volleyball uniforms bring you The Marathong.
Ah yes, “Rhythmic Gymnastics.”
Make a pole vault for distance.
What other event would benefit from being synchronized?
Wrestling?
Fencing?
Definitely the fencing. They’ve turned it into a sport best played by robots-twitch, twitch, shuffle, point, shuffle, shuffle, twitch, point.
I would modify track events by electrifying the finish line ribbon. You get first place for the heat, but the question is whether you can stop convulsing before your next event.
Also, water polo would be modified to be more like Marco polo.
How about the balance-beam caber toss? First you do your routine on it, then you have to chuck it.
Electrified hurdles – not a lethal dose but enough to provide major motivation.
But will it involve precision tossing as in Scotland or length tossing as on the Baltic island of Gotland?
Considering the strength of most female gymnasts, neither.
I would like to see a reverse hurdle event in swimming.
A swimmer doing the freestyle has to go underneath a wall two times per lap during the free style event.
How about the Rapid Shot Put? Within a brief time limit, each competitor tries to throw a pyramid of 10 heavy metal balls as far as possible. Score total distance of all shot.
When describing competitors as having an arm like a cannon, this event really means it!
How about a kayak diving event? You need a local waterfall or waterslide that can be modified though. Paddle up to speed and then do a triple backwards summersault and 1 1/2 twist!
They had a good idea yesterday on the Canadian sports radio talk show, “Prime Time Sports”: Cannonball diving, and synchronized cannonball diving.
Points award based on style and on amount of water displaced. 