One further conceptual nitpick: each clock “experiences” time–in terms of the rate of decay of radioactive isotopes, or the rate of equivilent thermodynamic systems, or the time required for a set distance traversed by a photon, or however you care to measure the passage of time–exactly the same, regardless of whether it is going faster or slower, under acceleration or moving “free” of obvious influence of forces, et cetera. The astronaut in the rocket won’t see his clock moving any slower as he approaches speed c than his twin back on Earth. However, the reference frames of each advance on different rates relative to the influence of net forces (resulting in acceleration, whether that causes a change in momentum or not), which causes the two brothers, when they do come back to a common inertial reference frame, to have to seriously recalibrate their watches.
As Chronos notes, there’s no meaningful comparison between the two systems until they rejoin at the same inertial state, and then when they do, you can’t tell “when” the so-called “time dilation” happened, only the difference between the two resultant states; for all you know, the twin in the rocket may have just been flying circles in a powered orbit around an imaginary star, or thrusting away at the edge of the event horizon of a black hole, or any other path which resulted in net acceleration and hence, in a different inertial frame from the twin on Earth. To put it another way, “time dilation” isn’t an event that occurs; it’s an artifact of taking a path influenced by an external force, whether it is the thrust of propellant against a rocket nozzle or the pull of gravity of a massive object.
To illustrate this using an analogy, consider two cars driven by a pair of twins, Dougal and Fingal. Dougal, a daring driver in a BMW M6, takes the high road that twists between Scottish peaks. Fingal, a more stately driver in his Mercedes E550, takes the straight and flat low road. Both drive from Edinburgh to Aberdeen, leaving and arriving at the same time. Dougal, however, has much more mileage on his M6 and has burned more fuel than Fingal due to having taken a longer and more mountainous route, even though each covers the same amount of road per mile. Until they meet back up, Dougal has no clue that he’s taken the “longer route” or driven any faster than Fin; his experience of the passage of road per mile has been exactly the same. We can’t say what his rate was relative to Fin’s speed at any given point on the road, because there is no metric for comparison between the two roads at any point; we can only say that Dougal’s average speed is greater than Fingal’s average speed. Now, this analogy clearly switches out the rate of speed for the rate of time in order to illustrate where the difference comes from and why each driver’s experience (for the passage of the rate in question) is the same, even though the system they’re in is different.
So chuck out the notion that the clocks are measuring time “at different rates.” Observers always measure time at the same rate (in their own reference frame), but the relationship between one frame and another is dependent upon its path in spacetime, and all movement occurs in four dimensions; three in space and one in time. A frame that moves “faster”–was at some point under acceleration–through space will have less movement in the time direction, and an object that moves faster in time by necessity goes “slower” (i.e. has seen less acceleration) in space, although this is only apparent relative to another frame. Another way of thinking of it is that all objects are always moving at c, but that is divided between all four dimensions. Massy objects always have some component of speed along the time direction, and objects that are at rest with respect to the observer’s frame are moving exclusively through time, while massless particles like photons move only in space and have no measurement of or movement through time from their inception to terminus.
Does that make it all as clear as eggnog?
Stranger