What are some things you would do differently knowing what you know now?
I’ve often heard the saying, “life is not a dress rehearsal”. In other words, we don’t often get a second chance to do anything over again. You just live and learn. You can’t ever get the time back but you can just do your best moving forward with new found wisdom.
So I was just curious, what are some things you’d do differently in your second life now that you have learned all the hard life lessons in your first?
Or do you believe we’d just revert back to our old instincts and still repeat history because it’s in our nature?
I assume the OP means we have no special knowledge of lotteries, Apple stock, Bitcoin, etc.
I’d change almost everything about my life. It’s hard to think of anything I wouldn’t change.
Save more, earn more, study harder, stay out of trouble, be more confrontational to people who were trying to steamroll me, be more outspoken, learn Spanish and Mandarin sooner, pursue different careers. There are multiple ex-girlfriends whom I wouldn’t have gotten into relationships with. I’d major in different things in college and probably ditch Christianity a lot sooner. I’d also recognize that my mother was seriously wrong in the head and stop interpreting her behavior as normal. I’d go to flight school a lot sooner, do my MBA at a different school, and not let myself become prediabetic and periodontal-disease’d.
True, take better care of my teeth. Now that I know how bad sugar is for your health in general and not just your teeth, I would have avoided all the soda pop I drank. Today I drink almost none.
Yes, no special knowledge of lotteries and gambling etc ie on sports events. The second life you live will be completely different in the specificity of events including lotteries and sporting scores/results/outcomes.
I’d probably go to a trade school instead of college. I think that would have been a better path for me.
I’d try to pay more attention to politics instead of believing what my parents told me that if I just worked hard I’d get ahead. Nope, work place politics are a thing, and they matter.
I would have continually renewed my passport instead of letting it lapse decades ago. It’s a small thing, but I am now in the position of having to start over with the process and it’s more involved and expensive these days.
I would have either taken Spanish in school, or taken both Spanish and French, and used them more diligently when I was younger.
I would have made some better financial decisions when younger if I knew then what I know now.
I’d take up the cello when I was 11 instead of giving up because I’d have to sing in front of other people as part of the curriculum ;
I’d study Latin in secondary school instead of letting people convince me that it was only useful for those who wanted to become doctors or lawyers ;
I’d go through with my ambition of doing a PhD in linguistics instead of giving up at the very first hurdle. And I’d work on some modern non-European languages (Austronesian ? Algonquian ? Iroquoian ?) instead of old European ones ;
I’d start doing sports much earlier.
As for my love life, where do I start ?
I’d leave Natty in a much more mature and respectful way ;
I’d never stay with Karen as long as I did, but take advantage of my first 2 years at University to have fun and explore ;
I’d give a second chance to some of the girls I met. Lara and Deborah, for sure ;
I’d divorce my ex wife much, much earlier ;
I’d take my subsequent relationship with Gini for what it was : a beautifully self-indulgent Indian summer with an extraordinary but troubled woman rather than an unexpected second chance to start a family.
Another vote for taking better care of my teeth, which includes eating and drinking less sugar.
I’d probably also have started my career sooner. After getting my Master’s degree I slowed down a bit (but never really stalled) in order to pursue other interests, and as I result I’m about ten years behind my classmates in terms of job progression. I don’t completely regret the diversion, as I had a lot of fun and gained valuable experience, though in hindsight I probably could have been a bit more parsimonious with long-term scheduling.
I’d also have started writing (as a side job) much sooner, and pursued it more vigorously. I’ve had around a hundred articles published over the last 20 years, but it’s only this year that I’ve got enough material for a full-length book (and hope to receive a final decision on a contract from a major publisher this month). Writing books is something I should have started 10 or 15 years ago, when I had more free time.
Being as you can’t change your genes or your upbringing, I don’t think much would be different the second time around, even if one got a chance for a do-over.
I mean, I didn’t get a degree until later in life because I didn’t have what it takes early in life. I didn’t do sports voluntarily until I was an adult, because growing up I hated sports and rather did something (anything) else. I didn’t regulate my sugar intake because having fun eating candy was much more important to me than keeping my health intact etc. etc. It was almost never “If I only had known…”
Where one could make a difference are the small, chanc-y encounters that could lead to friendships, relationships, employment opportunities, memorable experiences etc. But they too would would need to be the same the second time around AND to make a difference you would need knowledge you in most cases wouldn’t have this time, either.
That’s exactly why the things I would do differently wouldn’t affect that . I mean , I could have learned to study in high school and maybe that would have gotten me scholarships so I could go away to college - but that would mean I wouldn’t have met my husband at the job we had in college.
The things I would do differently are I wouldn’t start smoking ( for obvious reasons) and I wouldn’t have lost touch with as many people as I did. I had no idea how terrible I would feel when people I hadn’t spoken to in decades started dying after I thought about " It would be nice to talk to Joe" but never actually made any effort to.
Nobody wants to start saving for retirement earlier?
I piddled around with IRAs, but I didn’t start seriously saving/investing until I was in my fifties. I’m in pretty decent shape, fortunately, but I could have retired much earlier if I’d have started in my twenties.
I would get away from my family sooner. I moved out when I was 18, but if I went back, I’d look into emancipation. I also would have severed all ties with all of them as soon as possible, with the exception of one sister.
All my choices, successes and failures, have led to where I am today so I don’t think I would change much. If I went back and studied harder and chose a different major I probably would have never left the state I was born in, never met the people I know now including my wife, and wouldn’t have the same kid I have.
Don’t think I would trade that just for a dream job I’d be chasing.
I’d certainly take more risks. Feel like it took me way too long to learn to stop waiting for permission to do stuff, and just do it. I wasted a a lot of time coloring inside of the lines when I should have just gotten a blank sheet and drawn my own original image, so to speak. I could’ve been a rock star!
