All the cool kids are doing it.
There is no goddamn reason for you to give me blowback after I notified you that I wrote a post-dated check, Chase. I absolutely do not expect it to be cashed early, but I notified you just in case. So **fuck **the idiotic finance goon who messaged me saying Chase assumes no responsibility for overdraft fees in the event a post-dated check is processed early (per my account agreement). You can jockey legalese in all the account agreements you like; that doesn’t mean they supersede US law. And the legal code *explicitly states *that early processing of a post-dated check cannot be held against the account holder, as long as the bank is notified in a reasonable timeframe.
I covered my ass, I even quoted the legal code to make it easy for them. Holy fuck on a stick.
Seriously, family? Seriously?
My husband’s been sick for two weeks. He keeps feeling better then relapsing. Today he actually had a fever. Will he have it tomorrow when we’re supposed to make the big Thanksgiving pilgrimage? Who knows!
The baby has had a cold for three weeks. She had a fever Friday and Saturday but seemed better after that. Now I come back from watching Top Chef in the secluded TV room and hear her coughing and crying in her sleep. REALLY KID? Please sleep peacefully! For mommy!
AND NOW THE GODDAMN CAT IS SNEEZING.
I’m going to bed. I’ve had norovirus and hand-foot-mouth in the last six months, always very much the worst case in the family. I DESERVE some fucking sleep.
Yeah. 1) I don’t have that access for the bank, that’s a specific group in the company.
2) I have to get approvals, the bank set up and IT getting me a report I can upload. It’s taken me 6 months to get forms completed for the lockbox and I only have to deal with approvals and the bank, I don’t even want to think about getting IT involved.
Yeah that’s not that small a company.
That’s what steps c and d are for: most banks can read the accounting program’s basic csv just fine; for those which don’t, tweak by hand.
Dear Jacob who stole my Kindle then charged a bunch of stuff to it,
I hope your (likely) already inverted dick painfully turns green and falls right off. Then I hope you choke on it. Further, what the hell kind of dude buys two Chelsea Handler books and Twilight? Bro. . . get it together! And I mean, ballsy in changing my sweet Kindle’s name while I can SEE IT ON MY DAMNED ACCOUNT (‘jacobs kindle’), but not ballsy enough to make up for Twilight. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you so much.
Fuck off and die,
Diosa
So, earlier tonight, I got an email notification that I had apparently highlighted something and added a note to it on my Kindle. “Strange,” thought I— after all, I had left my Kindle in my dad’s car the other day. Oh, but as I later found out-- dad took the car to the body shop guy he always uses and while the car was supposed to be returned yesterday, the guy didn’t get around to finishing up and dad wasn’t sure when it would be done.
Needless to say, I called the guy-- he immediately tried to act like he didn’t speak English, but fortunately I also happen to speak Spanish (unlike my incredibly white father). The guy insisted the car has been locked and safe this whole time, then opened the trunk and started naming off the things that were back there. He described my Kindle case-- but kept insisting he didn’t know what a Kindle was when I’d ask if that’s what it was. I said, “Like a tablet.” He didn’t know what I meant. I said like a tiny flat computer. . . he still had no idea what I meant. I gave up when he said the car would be ready tomorrow morning for pick up.
As a precaution, I went and changed my Amazon password, assuming that if the Kindle was stolen, that would at least stop any purchases from being made. Well, apparently not, because two hours later I started getting email after email about Amazon orders I wasn’t making. Twilight: Breaking Dawn! Chelsea Bang Bang and other stupid Chelsea Handler books. A fucking Goosebumps book. Then a bunch of games. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE GAMES FOR MY KINDLE!
Meanwhile, as I’m trying to figure out what to do, the emails keep coming in. So, in a fit of desperation, I deactivated my Kindle and removed all of the payment info from my account. Then I called Amazon. While it was an Indian call center, I was helped immediately (literally zero wait) and at 10 PM, so I can only be so irked at the call centerness of it all. They reversed all the charges, reported my Kindle as stolen, and here I am.
So, thank you for good customer service, Amazon. May you forever rot in limp dicked hell, Jacob. I wish Kindles had some sort of feature where I could make it catch on fire while it’s on your lap-- times like these make me wish I had the evil kind of super powers.
Is there a way to remotely wipe the contents of the device to render it useless to the thief (may his micro-gonads rot off)?
All of these devices should come with a GPS locator and ID chip, which can’t be disabled. And a device which will turn the item into a brick if it’s reported stolen. The item can be unbricked with the proper password. If you want to buy a phone or ebook reader from someone, you get a bill of sale. Otherwise, when the item is reported stolen, the person can’t claim ownership. If an item is lost, the finder can turn it in, because keeping it won’t be profitable.
Heh - the idea of me as a cool kid, with my toque sticking up like a rooster’s comb, is quite entertaining. 
I was watching something, I don’t remember what it was now, but the guy had his laptop stolen, turned on the GPS locator and found out that his laptop was in a motel right over there, but the police weren’t really able to do anything about it because there was no proof of ownership or that the other people had stolen it (this might have been a fictional show, I really don’t remember). That would be frustrating as hell - “Hey, police? My Kindle is at 123 Fake Street. It’s been stolen by Jacob. Could you go get it back for me and charge him with theft?”
“Sorry, no can do. We have no proof of a crime.”
Yep, that happened when my daughter’s MacBook Pro was stolen. It showed up when she tracked it using Back to my Mac on her iPhone. She even had the apartment number, but the cops wouldn’t do anything. Because it DID show up, it was wiped remotely, and anyone trying to get into it would only get a message reading “This MacBook is stolen!” on the screen, effectively turning it into a brick. At least she got schaudenfreude!
Apparently, when Amazon reports it stolen, that serial number can’t be set up with Amazon again (except by me) So, they could use it for all non Amazon stuff, but yeah. Jerks.
Weird thing that pisses me off: Americans who say “Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!” on American Thanksgiving. Come on, “everyone”? It’s only Americans who celebrate Thanksgiving on that day.
Maybe I’m just bitter because my own (Canadian) Thanksgiving consisted of us not having any turkey and my mother completely losing her mind and ending up in the psych ward a few days later. 
Anyways, have a happy day, everyone, whether you’re celebrating something special or not. 
Do people really say, “Gobble gobble” all the time at Thanksgiving? That would drive me crazy.
“Mucus.” Mucous is the adjectival form, in terms such as “mucous membrane.” The noun form is “mucus.”
“Mucus.” Mucous is the adjectival form, in terms such as “mucous membrane.” The noun form is "mucus."I guess I might as well add a similar one I have:
[spoiler]I get a little grossed out by the TV commercials for the gout medication that’s supposed to control the sufferer’s uric acid levels. Where the guy is tooling all over town lugging a carboy* of green liquid. Ughh.
Or an Erlenmeyer flask. It could be a huge Erlenmeyer flask. It’s about the size of a carboy.[/spoiler]
double post. Sorry.
I wish I knew what the executives at Discovery are on lately, what with cancelling a popular and actually worthwhile show.
Damn.
I’ve decided I’m done arguing with people on the internet. I’ve felt so much more at peace since I’ve made this decision.
I have this friend, sort of a colleague in the profession, who is a DREAMer. I know lots of DREAMers, including his sister, and totally 100% support his cause. I’ve always been a staunch ally of immigrants and he knows that. But god if he isn’t the most angry, negative, radical person in his Facebook posts. Making fun of white people (because we are so clueless), and posting constant examples of ‘‘ally FAIL’’ and ‘‘fuck America’’ and ‘‘fuck Obama’’ and ‘‘fuck Israel’’ and the final straw was the bitching at people who are celebrating ‘‘the genocide of American Indians’’ by eating turkey with family today. I am so tired of his self-righteous crap. I got tired of being pissed off about it and finally defriended him. And it is really fucking sad, ya’ll, because he just alienated a fairly radical immigrant rights activist, I can only imagine how alienated the average person feels by this constant stream of self-victimization and rage. Even when it’s GOOD NEWS for his cause he’s got something negative to say about it. Obama announces a stay on low-priority deportations? Not good enough. DREAM Act has support in the senate for kids without criminal records. Not good enough. EVERYONE should be included. Fuck Obama, fuck ICE, fuck the Senate and bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
He’s a young man, barely into his twenties, and while I sympathize with his plight and know he really doesn’t have anything BUT the movement to give his life purpose, I wish I could tell him to grow the fuck up. Things are tough all over, homeboy. You fight for your rights but take a goddamn chill pill and enjoy life from time to time, and maybe don’t insult the people who support you?
I’m just done dealing with people like this.
I was shopping for hours today, and I have come to the conclusion that it’s a miracle that I ever find shoes that fit!
Also, salespeople of the world, leave your customers alone. Unless I ask for help, I don’t want you hovering and bothering me. I want to look through everything I want to look at at my leisure, not explain to you why I don’t like this thing you’ve selected for me or that thing you’ve selected for me. Go away!
Same goes for the Mall Botherers - leave me alone. Don’t ask me “one question,” don’t ask me how my day is going, don’t ask me if I want to try whatever stupid product you’re bothering me about. Your kiosk is right there - if I have any interest in what you’re selling (I don’t), I can walk over and buy some. I wish the malls would kick all of these assholes out.
ETA: I forgot the last one - it’s not Black Friday here! It’s not Thanksgiving here! There is no reason for there to be Black Friday sales everywhere here! Well, I know the reason for it - greed.