Leon: Do you know what it’s like to live in underpants?
Deckert: No.
Leon: It’s like having an itch you can never scratch.
"You know what happens to underpants when they’re struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.
“These are not the underpants you’re looking for.”
Blanche, A Streetcar named Desire: “I have always depended on the underpants of strangers.”
Life is underpants, and all the people players in them. ~Shakespeare
I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers in your right underpants? ~ The Princess Bride
MAN IN BLACK: All right: where are the underpants? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.
VIZZINI: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the underpants into his own goblet, or his enemy’s?
Now, a clever man would put the underpants into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
MAN IN BLACK: You’ve made your decision then?
VIZZINI: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
MAN IN BLACK: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
VIZZINI: Wait till I get going! Where was I?
MAN IN BLACK: Australia.
VIZZINI: Yes – Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
MAN IN BLACK: You’re just stalling now.
VIZZINI: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the underpants in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the underpants as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
MAN IN BLACK: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something – it won’t work –
VIZZINI: It has worked – you’ve given everything away – I know where the underpants are.
~ Also from The Princess Bride
CUT TO: INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Underpants pops into a chair in a swank night club. He’s wearing a tuxedo. The woman across the table from him is also Underpants, but in a gown. He looks around the restaurant. Everyone is Underpants in different clothes. Underpants is panicked. The girl Underpants across the table looks at him seductively, winks and talks.
GIRL UNDERPANTS: Underpants Underpants Underpants Underpants…
Underpants looks confused. The Underpants waiter approaches, pen and pad in hand, ready to take their orders.
WAITER UNDERPANTS: Underpants Underpants Underpants?
GIRL UNDERPANTS: Underpants Underpants Underpants Underpants.
WAITER UNDERPANTS: Underpants Underpants.
(Turning to Underpants) Underpants?
Underpants looks down at the menu. Every item is “Underpants.” He screams:
UNDERPANTS: Underpants!
The waiter jots it down on his pad.
WAITER UNDERPANTS: Underpants.
Underpants pushes himself away from the table and runs for the exit. He passes the stage where a girl singer Underpants is singin sensuosly into the microphone. She is backed by a '40’s style big band of Underpantses.
SINGING UNDERPANTS: Underpants Underpants Underpants Underpants…
Underpants flies through the back door.
Pirate’s in your underpants, boy, and you’ll have to square with that someday.
(I wrote an entire journal entry pantsing Pirates of the Caribbean.)
Boy: Do not try and bend the underpants. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Boy: There are no underpants.
Neo: There are no underpants?
Boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the underpants that bend, it is only yourself.
From Raiders of the Lost Ark
Sallah: Underpants. Very dangerous. You go first.
From It’s a Wonderful Life:
‘Every time a Bell rings, an Angel gets his underpants.’
“Gimme some underpants, Baby!”
–Ash, Army of Darkness
“Good…bad…I’m the one with the underpants”
–Ash again
“Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his underpants. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his underpants.”
–Patton, Patton
Saving Private Ryan:
“Earn underpants.”
Dammit DAMMIT DAMMIT!!! I was gonna do an Army of Darkness quote. I was scrolling down the list, happy that no one else had done it yet, and TWO FRIGGEN posts from the end, yours. :mad:
Ok here is one for you.
Ash: Alright, you primitive screwheads, listen up: THIS… is my UNDERPANTS
Ash: Lady, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
Possessed woman: Who the hell are you?
Ash: Name’s Ash. [cocks shotgun] Underpants.
“It’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack, not underpants.”
– The Bride, Kill Bill, Part One
And, the only church that feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the church of underpants. Bull Durham
There’s no crying in underpants! A League of Their Own
Someday a real rain is going to come and wash all the underpants off the street.
“Always look on the bright side of Underpants * fuu foo, fu foo fu foo fu foo*
Always look at the bright side of Underpants repeat
Underpants are a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Underpants are a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true.
You’ll see it’s all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And…”
“Hasta La Vista, Underpants”.
“Here’s looking at you, Underpants”.
this is terrible. I have work to do.
“Will someone get this walking carpet out of my underpants?”
Ah, the classics…
Tim the Enchanter: “Death awaits! With long sharp pointy underpants!”
(forgive me if that’s not quite right, haven’t seen that movie in a while…)
Auntie Mame: “Underpants are a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”
Bogie: “The Germans wore gray. You wore underpants.”
Monty Python again: “We’re opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the underpants a lot!”
Blazing Saddles:
“Are we awake?”
“We’re not sure. Are we underpants?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Then we’re awake. But we’re very puzzled.”
Gene Wilder as Young Frankenstein: “UNDERPANTS! UNDERPANTS! NO ESCAPING UNDERPANTS!”
"Put - ze underpants - back!
I’ve just spent way more time on this than is probably healthy…
MARTY: What happened to Stumpy Joe?
DEREK: Well, uh, it’s not a very pleasant story but, uh…
DAVID: He’s passed on.
DEREK: He died… uh… he choked on… the official explanation was actually that he choked on underpants
NIGEL: It was actually, it was actually someone else’s underpants. It’s not…
DAVID: It’s ugly.
NIGEL: You know, there’s no real…
DEREK: Y’know, they can’t prove whose underpants it was… they don’t have the facilities at Scotland Yard…
DAVID: You can’t print… there’s no way to print a spectra-photograph.
NIGEL: You can’t really dust for underpants.
Jack:I want you to hold the underpants.
Waitress:Hold the underpants?
Jack: Yes. Hold it between your knees
It’s a Wonderful Life:
Every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets its underpants.