It’s been decided by the majority of the electorate that that your national anthem needs replacing - perhaps the words are too hard to remember, perhaps familiarity breeds contempt, whatever. The bad news is that you’ve been selected by government lottery (it’s like jury duty - you can’t get out of it) to select a new anthem to be sung forever more at sporting events. You can pick any tune you like from any year you like, no matter how silly.
What do you pick?
Britain’s national anthem, God Save The Queen, is a dreadful old plodding dirge that doesn’t even make much sense, as Eddie Izzard points out, the Queen lives in a big palace surrounded by armed guards - that’s one saved Queen. Jerusalem is a popular choice, but it’s based on batshit-mad bullcrap about Jesus taking an excursion to Scarborough or some such nonsense. Every verse can be answered with a “…no.” No, those feet in ancient times did not tread upon England’s soil. Music is a bit better though. Rule Britannia…well, it’s a bit 19th Century, we don’t really rule the waves any more, so that’ll be a tad embarrassing. I quite like I Vow to Thee, My Country, because it’s based off Holst’s Jupiter, which is awesome. Either that or Eton Rifles by The Jam.
Now, because I hate you, Cracked’s list of national anthems that will make you tremble with fear, if you need some inspiration. Although they were remiss in forgetting the USSR’s national anthem. Say what you like about Commies, they knew how to bash together a decent anthem.
God Bless the USA–too many people, particularly young liberals, fail to appreciate what we have in this country, and what it costs to keep it. As an added bonus, it might well cause the heads of certain militant atheists to explode, and that would amuse me greatly.
The current anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, already contains a reference to the G-man - so the shock value may be diminished somewhat: Then conquer we must when our cause it is just
And this be our motto: “In God is our Trust.”
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
(I can’t get done for posting lyrics if said lyrics were devised in 1814, right?)
Ah, like that verse of God Save the Queen that talks about crushing rebellious Scots. Always fun.
*Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
May by thy mighty aid,
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
and like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush,
God save the King. *
(That one’s from 1745, so mods fear not)
Edit, ha jjimm, nice simulpost - great minds think alike…particularly when concerned with rebellious Scots.
Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s version of Jerusalem is my favourite national anthem. But yes, the lyrics are dated: at some point British Israelism was a quite popular belief, but not today, and it even has some unfortunate implications. I still like them, especially the references to bows of burning gold and chariots of fire.
“Yet she’s only as rich as the poorest of her poor
Only as free as the padlocked prison door
Only as strong as our love for this land
Only as tall as we stand”
The most patriotic of my choices. I’d certainly stand for this (and maybe even put my hand over my heart.) as long as they get rid of that bloody awful child choir.
Now foundon TSN and RDS. Not only does everyone know it, it gets Canadians to stand up and CHEER!
The brothers Ferguson also recommended Louie, Louie in their book “How to be a Canadian, even if you already are one.” Hilarious book; though I loaned mine to my friend’s British boyfriend, who hasn’t given it back. Bastard.
That song’s the biggest pile of dung ever written, whether or not it has the word “God” in it. I’ve told the story on the boards before: when I was in basic training (Army), they showed us some moronic video that ended with that song. One of the drill sergeants asked if there was anybody there who didn’t like that song. I said I hated it. He replied, “Me too, private. What a piece of shit.”
As I’ve also said on the boards: the U.S. national anthem should be “Rock Lobster”. Anything by Kiss would be just as bad as the current anthem (or “God Bless the USA”), and would only give other countries further ammo to call us uneducated dolts.
