“I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs. I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey, wait a minute–there’s one guy holding up both puppets. Shut up. Go back to bed America, your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection–watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer you fucking morons.”
-Bill Hicks (October 24, 1993 Rant In E-Minor)
If we’re speaking of the politicians themselves, this is about as accurate a generalization as we can hope for. The rank and file mill around, full of impassioned opinions, while their representatives are more interested in building up campaign money war chests and assuring themselves cushy golden parachutes.
rjung’s crack about the GOP self-justifying veneer of dignity/patriotism is not without justification. The Democratic counterpart is the “I feel your pain” veneer over similar naked self-interest.
And in the interests of balanced Hyperbole Reduction, I think Gadarene’s comment would gain accuracy with the following amendments (in italics):
“One could as easily state the converse–many Republicans live in a fantasy world where there is no need for sizable minimum wage increases to allow workers to receive something approaching a living wage, discrimination codes, more than a bare minimum of market regulation, or affirmative action; Democrats interpret real-world conditions to necessitate the programs above”.
Say whaa?
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Public schools are a Democratic program? Far as I can tell from Google, public funding of public schools was in existence before there was a Democratic party in the U.S. (BTW, I’m in favor of vouchers);
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Five of the seven Supreme Court justices in the majority in Roe v. Wade (Blackmun, Burger, Brennan, Stewart and Powell) were appointed by Republican presidents;
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I’ll confess that the school prayer issue defeated me. I can’t remember the first Supreme Court decision banning mandatory school prayer, and there have been so many decisions on various nuances of school prayer that I couldn’t track down which justices voted with the majority in the original case.
Sua
Well sure, you could amend it that way–if you want to be accurate! 
I was showing Scylla that you could make ridiculously hyperbolic arguments from either side of the divide, but there’s no question that the amended statement above more realistically represents the state of things than the half-baked pack of generalizations I presented in my earlier post.
Scylla:
Where do you put the baseline? How long does a program have to be around before it becomes the status quo? The progressive national income tax was ratified ninety years ago (as a result of a movement which occurred under three Republican presidents). Are the Republicans who agitate for a flat tax or for the repeal of the estate tax just trying to “optimize current circumstances”?
Nothing can ever be generalized as simply and easily as people like you like to think, Scylla. 
It’s simple really. I’m surprised you can’t see it for yourself.
If Republicans are abolishing a program, it’s returning it to the way it was before the damn democrats tampered with perfection.
If Republicans are creating new programs it’s only to counterbalance the short-sighted and reactionist agenda of the democrats and maintain the status quo.
And, yes. I’m a true scotsmen.
(Why you guys picking on me. My defintion’s better than most , and rolls off the tongue well, and makes a catchy tune,)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Gadarene *
**
Point taken, you subtle devil.
One amendment to the Golden Limited Edition Reasonably Hyperbolic View of how Many Republicans View The World: the G.O.P. “fantasy world” would involve no need for expanded antidiscrimination codes. Few to the left of Loondom would argue that no protections are necessary.
In point of fact, in the last century, one Horace Mann advocated universal compulsory public education. But the Democratic Party predates Horace Mann by many decades, having been founded by Thomas Jefferson as the Democratic Republican Party (irony not missed by me) sometime around the turn of the 1800s. It is the oldest continuous political party in the world, bar none.
As for all of those uninformed comments above about “Republicans trying to return things to their perfect state”, Republicans invent history of a pre-existing perfect state and then claim we were once there, and to top it off, that the founding fathers all agreed that this was the perfect way it should perfectly be. All of which is horse poop. Americans, including the founding fathers, disagreed about many things, their vision and the level of their current bliss.
The real question is what we do today, consistent with fundamental principles of liberty to lead a good a full life.
I think you better revisit a history book or two before attempting to make any kind of analysis of historical political parties with current political parties, even if there is continuous line. The Democrats were, more-or-less, the pro-secession and pro-slavery party during the Civil War. Abe Lincoln was the first Republican President, too. But don’t make too much hoopla out of it. The political philosophies of parties change over time.
What is truly amazing, IMHO, is that people actually belong to political parties, vote the party line, and believe that their party is the only way to go.
Oh yeah, how do the Democrats and Republicans differ? The Democrats lie, cheat, lie, steal, lie, swindle, lie, and blame the Republicans. The Republicans lie, cheat, lie, steal, lie, swindle, lie, and blame the Democrats. 
Republicans believe in God. Democrats beleive in Santa Claus.
Democrats beleive you can’t take care of yourself or make your own decisions responsibly. Republicans prove them right.
PJ O’Rourke was driving through Washington with a colleague and noticed all the protests.
“Why is it,” he asked. “When something pisses off the liberals, the next day there’s a huge protest with 50,000 people, pre printed placards, and organized to the last detail, but when something pisses off the Republicans, the next day you get two rednecks waving a hand printed sign?”
“We have jobs.” His colleague replied.
Which is why we should move to IRV – instant run-off voting, where each voter ranks the candidtates in order of preference. Alternatively, have an actual run-off election whenever the winner has less then 51% of the vote.
Great suggestion, in principle. However, in a country where many voters can’t even follow current voting instructions, an additional complication might be too much. 
More of the differences according to PJ O’Rourke:
[quote]
The democrats are for a lot more of something to be named at a later date. The Republicans are for a lot less of whatever that is except the death penalty.**
Democrats want to get the government out of the bedroom and into the boardroom.
Republicans (at least the current crop) want exactly the opposite.
I’m rather fond of P.J. O’Rourke’s humor, read all his books. I do rather wish he could get through an entire book without discussing his drinking problem or pointing out, once again, that he is an apostate hippy. There may be dumber things than giving up pot for booze, but I’m hard pressed to think what they might be.
I notice one feature in common amongst conservatives, and that is their self-image as hard-headed realists. I further note that I have yet to meet a cynic who didn’t regard himself as a realist.
Republicans and democrats largely break down among the conservatives and liberals.
Conservatives seek to maintain the power of those already in power, while liberals seek to put more power into the hands of the people.
I believe you have stated my feelings on the matter perfectly, your Majesty.
My father, who is a sincere-to-the-point-of-madness libertarian, takes the idea of minimalist government to its extreme, which would be that the government provide virtually nothing except a military to protect us from outsiders, and a very basic criminal justice system to protect us from crimes against persons and property exclusively. Everything else would be handled by the private sector, and there would be no regulation of any kind because “A free market will take care of itself”. To which I always reply: " :rolleyes: "
Perhaps some more enlightened aliens could live in such a country…Vulcans, maybe. Not the human animal.
I also like what my Boris has to say about realists…too true. My dad again.
stoid
I’ve heard that back in the mists of time there was such a beast as a “liberal Republican”. Can anyone describe what this extinct creature was like?
Liberal Republican: in the 60s and 70s there were the Northern Gypsy Moths (named after a parasite to mock the “Boll Weevil” democrats), men like Jacob Javits and and the current Sen. Jim Jeffords. These are the business Republicans as contrasted to the culture Republicans.
Dislike of political parties is politically very naive. Those active in politics seek what they view as justice. Parties are an organization of like minded people seeking to more effectively persuade decision makers. If you don’t organize, you go it alone, and nobody listens to you at all. Anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t politically organize wants you to have no effective voice, usually because they have a different interest from yours.
That’s because cynics are realists.
(Digs out his old “I’m not cynical, I’m a realist” T-shirt)