What are the differences between Democrats and Republicans?

I have a basic and probably bias understanding of the difference between Democratic and Republican beliefs and would like some clarification. Also, if you are a Democrat or Republican can you tell me why you subscribe to that party?
Thanks!

Well, for starters Republicans drive like this.

While Democrats drive like this.

Republicans close their window shades at night, although there is seldom any reason to do so. Democrats don’t close their shades, although they should.

Republicans think Democrats have bad policies.

Democrats think Republicans are bad people.

Regards,
Shodan

Republicans think that people are basically bad, but will be OK if left alone.

Democrats think that people are basically good, but need a little help.

Republicans want to keep the government out of people’s lives, except for the really important personal stuff.
Democrats want the government meddling in peoples lives, except for the really important personal stuff.

Republicans are penises and Democrats are vaginas.

Here is a interesting infographic on the subject.

Democrats: Well meaning on domestic policy but cause more harm than good.
Republicans: Well meaning on foreign policy but cause more harm than good.

Republicans believe that rape is God’s will, the poor shouldn’t be allowed to vote, America is a Christian nation, progressive taxation is Commmunist, people without health insurance should be allowed to die, the existence of birth control is a threat to religious freedom, Islam isn’t a real religion and so its freedoms don’t matter, there’s a “Ground Zero victory mosque” in Manhattan, millions of illegal immigrants are voting, AK-47s are necessary for self-defense, the UN is plotting to take their guns, Sharia law is going to be imposed any day now, the US has to defend Israel so Jesus can come back, global warming and embryology are lies from hell, and that we need to start wars with Syria, Iran, and any other non-white nation that looks at us funny.

Democrats… don’t.

The difference between Coke and Pepsi, particularly in regards to the War on Terror and Patriot Act.

Democrats: Center right, corrupt. Spineless cowards who don’t really stand for anything anymore but “we aren’t the Republicans”. Have the virtue of being relatively sane compared to the Republicans, and are much less likely to deliberately drive the country to ruin out of spite or ideology. Of course, much of that is because they are too spineless to do much of anything, good or bad.

Republicans: Far right, even more corrupt. Irrational, and would be considered a bunch of fringe lunatics if they weren’t an American political party. Including by themselves I think; plop down a party that acts just like they do in another country, change the religion and racial groups they advocate for, and the Republicans would likely accuse them of being irresponsible, corrupt and dangerous fanatics. Change Christianity for Islam and they’d fit right in as some bunch of Middle Eastern fanatics trying to impose a corrupt theocracy.

Cute, but way too positive on the Republicans. “Champions of opportunity”?" Yeah, right. Only if you are rich, white, male and Christian. No mention of the racial bigotry that is so much a part of them, and barely touches on their religious fanaticism. Doesn’t mention their lack of concern for the welfare of the nation.

Do you find that helpful or informative? I don’t.

You should know better than to pick up a duck in the middle of a dungeon.

That infographic is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life.

As far as I can tell Republicans tend to wear red ties with their suits on camera, and Democrats wear blue ones.

What ever happened to the color green? Shit, they don’t even paint cars green anymore. White, silver, grey, black, these are NOT colors.

My car is green. Specifically “hypnotic teal mica”

Note the infographic is written by British people, and ostensibly is Left vs. Right, not D vs. R. The top suggests that Democratic and Republican are only subsets. The color choice is odd, considering that the colors are switched in many places, and the current colors were only ingrained in the US after Bush II or so. If it were D vs. R, some parts would be very odd, like the part on religion, that doesn’t describe most Democrats. (See: 78% support God). But then, it’s odd where they might’ve gotten their statistics.

Ignoring the rest of straw, “progressive” here isn’t a euphemism for “liberal.” Most people agree that taxes should be progressive; only extreme libertarian types believe in regressive taxation. The disagreement is on high the tax rate should be, and whether different brackets should be charged what amount.

ETA: Most literally green cars I see are Subarus or Honda Civics. It’s a dark green.

Democrats are the salt of the earth.

Republicans suck.

I had to google this and what I foundalmost made me pee myself :smiley: