This is not right. Bass fishin’ belongs to the South, and so do bass fishing tournaments. So I propose that we debate not whether a passle of damn Yankees ought to be excluded from this most holy sport, but rather where we should draw the dividing line, north of which bass tournaments will not be allowed. I am prepared to concede that in the interest of proselytizing, we will allow bass fishin’ to take place north of the line, but only if the final “g” is left off.
I propose Interstate 70. It goes from Denver right across the country through Kansas City, St. Louis, Indianapolis, and Columbus, Ohio.
(West of Denver? Bass tournaments in Utah? ROFLMAO!)
I’m curious. What is specifically “southern” about bass? Since every lake I have ever lived near has had a natural supply of the beasties (and I assure you, I have never lived anywhere near anyplace that could be called “southern”), I am not quite sure what your issue is. Is it simply that the competition began in the south? Fine, surrender your football, baseball, and hockey teams. (I’d throw in basketball, but it’s two centers of origin–aside from its Canadian connection–are both near I-70.)
You must be pretty bored to start this outside MPSIMS.
one of the highlights of my 12th year was the Bassmaster tournament on th St.LAwrence River (border of NY and Canada.) The competitors fished in an area that my family had been fishing for 3 generations and pulled outt more fish in 3 days than we had in 3 generations.
I don’t like the particular form of crinkum-crankum, rip 'em out of the water, fishing that the bassmasters do, but those dudes know how to catch fish. Nothing particularly southern about that. And yes, we do have Bass (small and big mouth) here in Colorado. I think they have them in every state.
Bass fishin’ belongs in the south. The first rule of qualification should be that you have to drink and entire glass of sweet tea without making a face. Anyone that fails is disqualified while anyone that passes must go on to the next test.
The second test is the ability to say, “ya’ll”. Anyone that says it as two syllables fails. As does anyone that says, “yous guys” when asked for the definition.
SouthernStyle (through and through)
Y’all can keep it. The essential distinction of southerner is that it has not dawned upon him that simply because he CAN roar around tearing things up with internal-combustion-powered infernalities that it does not mean he necessarily SHOULD.
While you are restricting bass fishing tournaments to the muddy side of the Mason-Dixon line and leaving we peaceful canoe paddlers alone, might I suggest that you also retain exclusive rights to motocross, stock car and truck racing, personal watercraft, and both wrestling federations.
As compensation for your trouble, we will transplant the entire American pornography industry from Los Angeles to Little Rock.
Ex-cel-LENT!! Now, lemme make sure I have this right. We get bass fishing tournaments, motocross, stock car/demolition derby racing, Jet-Skis, and BOTH wrestling federations? AND porn? You’re joking, right? I mean, this’ll all turn out to be a dream, like “who shot J.R.”, or else it’ll turn out that you’re not really empowered to negotiate on behalf of the rest of the U.S.?
What about monster tractor pulls? Can we have those, too? Oh, wait, I don’t want to seem too greedy. But how about Co-Cola? I know they’re global, but maybe it’s time for them to get back to their roots.
If you’ll let us have rap music, I bet in 5 years we could turn it around and you’d never even recognize the sucker.
What makes you think we want them down here! I can’t stand the dang things! I’m not fond of stock car racing, except to see Dale Ernhardt (whatever) hit a wall at 200+ mph.
Oh, and you can keep the porn industry, it’s boring.
I have nothing to say about the topic - I just wanted to say that this thread is the first to make me laugh out loud from the title alone. Here. You get a gold star on your forehead.
Um, may we keep the wonderful porn industry in LA where it belongs? The last thing I need is to start seeing the toccaby spittin’, tooth missin’, big haired, beer gutted likenesses of Arkansas’ finest in my autoerotic experiences.
Porn and silicone go together better than beer drinking and Bass fishin’.
