Restaurants that can't do a specific thing well

I rarely ever see this as a dish in the UK. I thought it might be a UK Indian only dish, but it doesn’t typically come in the restaurants selling the usual Vindaloo/Korma etc.

So I’m not surprised other Indian restaurants might not match a good one from a pub, they might not know what it’s supposed to be. Or if it is based on a real Indian dish, perhaps the pub made it less authentic but more suitable for locals.

There’s a place near me which does Nepalese food (and it’s wonderful) which does something I can imagine could be called Butter Chicken, but it wasn’t, and they don’t do online (or even takeaway, it’s printed menus in the pub) so I can’t tell you what they call it (it could be the direct translation of Murgh Makhani).

Ah, I’ve found it → menu, strangely spelled Murgh Markahani, I tasted some my mum had and it was lovely, but it was a relatively mild curry so not on my normal spectrum of eating.

What do you mean by “made fresh” when it comes to pickles? The classic Vienna spears come in either pails or jars. The container doesn’t make a difference.

Some of the other things you pointed out are bad, though. Oscar Mayer? Seedless buns are fine. The most important part is the type of hot dog used. Sure, Vienna beef and their marketing want to make you believe the “Chicago seven” ingredients are the “correct” way, but plenty of old school joints, like Gene and Jude’s — perhaps the most iconic place — or Jimmy’s don’t follow that recipe and don’t use poppyseed buns or tomato or celery salt or fluorescent green relish. Banana peppers are wrong, though.

I would assume something like a big tub of half-sours made on premises.

I sincerely doubt any Chicago hot dog stand makes their pickles on premises

I’m thankful you said this. It is also my answer. Here they are, this place that is supposed to be this great chain and they have the worst fries of any fast food place I’ve been.

Yeah, that’s something I’ve seen at delis, but not places that only sell hot dogs.

Nor their own neon green relish.

Even at delis, at least around here, they come from a wholesaler somewhere. The Polish delis, for example, often sell their pickles in a barrel. They typically do not pickle them on premises. They just buy a tub of fermented pickles and dump them in a barrel.

A dill pickle tree.

Many good fries are fresh cut. Sometimes fried twice. or blanched and fried later. No freezing necessary.

I was fortunate to grow up on Thrasher’s fries and generally around a lot of places that sold “boardwalk fries” or something similar. I just looked up their process on their website and I was surprised not to see anything about double frying. Looks like they are just kept soaking and then fried once in peanut oil. Then salted and served with optional vinegar and (fortunately) no ketchup.

I never liked McDonald’s style fries (though they are tasty for fast food) or the completely tasteless textureless shoestrings and school cafeteria style fries a lot of places served. The closest thing to what I consider decent fries from a chain is 5 Guys.

If I make my own at home I usually double fry, but it’s messy.

You have to get the cheese curds at Culver’s.

This reminds me of 1 thing that will choose me to pick one fast food place over another: sides options. If you only offer 1 side, it better be good. If your fries suck, at least have decent onion rings or something. if your fries and onion rings suck, I might pick the place that has 4-5 options as long as 1 or 2 are decent. If the place serves school lunch fries (like Raising Cane’s) or pointless shoestrings (Steak n Shake, among others), but they have 1 side that no one else offers (jalapeno bites, cheese curds, jojos, cajun rice… ohhhh, mozz sticks) I can ignore the fries.

You can’t make good fries with just any old potato either. The best commercially produced french fries are made from low sugar potatoes that produce a crispier, fluffier french fry. Small restaurants and home cooks just can’t compete with decades of research and sophisticated production technology.

It happened again tonight. I went to Burger King and ordered a Whopper. It’s not even supposed to come with cheese, but the nice girl at the counter asked if I wanted cheese on it. I told her no, and even shook my head for emphasis. After paying, I checked my receipt and there was no mention of adding cheese to my Whopper. They called my number, I picked up the burger, and, of course, there was cheese on it. I’m not ordinarily one to buy into conspiracy theories. I believe that man has walked on the moon. Oswald acted alone. But these cheese bastards are out to get me. Next time you go to a restaurant, look past the folks at the counter, or the friendly waiter who comes to your table and tells you the specials, and try to steal a look into the kitchen. Someone back there, and you can never tell who, is working for Big Dairy.

I know what you’re thinking; in the grand scheme of things, isn’t this a pretty minor thing to get worked up over? Yes, but only up to a point. It would also be the most trivial thing in the world to fix. I am literally asking folks to do nothing. When you’re assembling my burger, do it half-assed. Do it quarter-assed. When you see that slice of cheese just six inches away from your hand, and you think about reaching out for it, I want you to say to yourself, “fuck it, that’s too much trouble.” Give in to your most lazy impulses. Embrace the ennui that you so richly deserve. You and I will both be happier for it.

This world has some very real problems; climate change, pandemics, racism, the designated hitter rule; how are we ever going to make progress on those issues while we are still grappling with the deep, philosophical conundrum of how not to put cheese on a hamburger!

No.
Fucking.
CHEESE!

California Pizza Kitchen - Their pizzas are great. The tomato bisque is great. But their jambalaya is lousy. Hint: When a restaurant has a type of food in their name, stick with ordering that type of food.

If you can.