I’m curious about that too.
I’m assuming you’ve gone the route of talking to her/forbidding her from your room. How did that conversation go?
I knew somebody who had a kid like that. No matter what they did this one kid would continue to break rules and laws unless they were currently locked in a detention center for teens, and later prison. I was going on the assumption that the teen you’re dealing with was like this. It’s almost impossible for you to do something unless you’re a hard ass, and grandma is too. In other words charges of breaking and entering, criminal trespass, theft, and the like. When they skip out from their supervision report them to the center, which will retrieve them.
The most obvious way would be if she has a spare key. Have you tried changing the locks?
How computer saavy is she? Would she noticed if you simply unplugged the phone/network cable? Perhaps she would just give up after a while and leave it alone. I’m thinking at the very least if you did that she wouldn’t be as quick to get violent since she wouldn’t think it was something you did on purpose against her (provided she didn’t notice it unplugged). Or just take the keyboard with you when you leave.
IANAL etc.
First of all, find out if you are entitled to renter’s rights without a written lease. I would assume that the fact that you are
a) paying money (I assume you can prove through cancelled checks, receipt, whatever) and
b) living there
that there is at least an oral contract
Second, talk to the police or the DA’s office and find out EXACTLY what constitutes breaking and entering. I would assume picking a lock to get into a renter’s (see above) room counts but with technology laws ever changing, perhaps unauthorized access to a computer counts as well.
Third, you did not tell us how Grandma feels about this. Is hers a “kids will be kids” attitude? Is it a “Little Asshatina has been through sooooooooo much and you’re oppressing her” attitude? Or has she thrown up her hand and is praying for the day she turns 18 like her parents? Depending on Grandma, you could (with the help of the police) have her arrested overnight or even press charges (that are convienently dropped when she stops).
I know that the third step may seem drastic, but I’m dealing with a stepson that his senior year of high school has:
- Gotten three speeding tickets. He did not have his licence suspended and he blew off traffic school which THE COURT THEN EXCUSED HIM FOR AS A FREEBIE :eek:
- Been truant 40 times. The school blustered about expelling hm, but never backed it up
- Got caught with snuff. Has to go to “smoking school” then it’s wiped clean
- Arrested for burgulary with alcohol. That apparently is California judicial speak for a minor trying to buy alcohol. He pled no contest and if he doesn’t get in legal trouble for a year, it is expunged.
In less than a month, he turns 18 and his take on this? I can do whatever I want cause everyone loves me and I never have any consequences. Believe me, when teenagers start committing illegal acts, compassion must be tempered with consequences.
Not only that, but why should you have to put up with this shit?! WIll she pay to have your computer repaired and restore your files when she screws up the fucker?
You’ve got several options open to you. Though none of them address the real issue, the child not respecting you or your wishes.
Given what you’ve already stated, a RO won’t be worth the paper it’s written on.
Which is going to limit you to what you can do to secure the computer.
Is she going to be pissed enough to break something if she can’t get access to the computer?
Get a laptop or a secure cabinet to keep your computer in.
If you think she won’t break something, you might get by with a removable drive bay. Just yank the hard drive and take it with you.
And of course there are various built in and third party password options as mentioned above.
At least in CA it pretty much does not matter, if you pay rent, you have the basic set of renters rights as outlined in the code sections.
If this was me I would go the monitoring software route. Little asshatina wants to play, fine. A few days of keyloggery goodness and she will find her social networking sites with new passwords, a new confirmation email account (a new free one set up by you). and a lovely discussion on her myspace page about how she thought she was smart and sly but that her poor behavior had caught up with her and now she was paying the price.
She does something with a screwdriver, I don’t know exactly what, but it leaves gouge markes on the door and on the jamb. Somehow she gets the scewdriver between the door and the jamb and the door opens.
Today I installed new locks with longer deadbolts. The old deadbolts only extended about 1/2"; the new ones are 1" long.
Goddamn that’s beautiful
Cant you just get her a computer of her own? What exactly is she doing on your machine, anyway? Get her a cheap machine and if she wants to fill it with viruses and porn and pipe-bomb plans, well, you’ll just be another adult who stopped caring what she does.
Likely the OP isn’t in a position to simply run out and buy another computer as a bribe to get hers left alone. She said she was trying to get her finances in order to be able to move out of the house – buying a computer would delay accumulating the needed first/last/security etc. fund. And it really sounds like a situation she wants to get out of asap.
Besides, if the annoying semi-relative is busting into her room to use the computer, it’s not at all unlikely she’s also helping herself to cosmetics, clothing, CDs and whatever strikes her fancy.
Good luck with the better lock! BTW, I’ve heard you can also buy some sort of wrap around the edge of the door metal shield thing (in addition to the dead bolt) that makes it much, much harder to force a door. Don’t have any idea what that might cost, sorry.
This may be the ticket. Take some of the money that you are paying for rent, and tell Granny “This was going to be yours, but since you can’t control your granddaughter, and I can’t have her breaking and entering my room, I’ll give it to her, and hope she buys a computer. If she doesn’t, maybe next month I can give her **all ** of the rent, and, hopefully, she’ll spend it on a computer.”
Well, the saga continues. Today the new deadbolts got their first test. I came home from work to find that the locks held, despite her considerable efforts to break in. However, both of the door jambs had taken quite a beating, and were cracked around where the deadbolt goes in. I don’t think the jambs will be able to hold much longer, they’re just typical residential bedroom door jambs. Tomorrow I will call a locksmith to come out and give me advice on what to do next.
I called the girl’s mom and told her about today’s damage. She accused me of doing all the damage myself just to get her daughter in trouble. That’s a pretty typical reaction.
And by the way, StarvingButStrong, I’m a guy :). Also, I’ll spend hundreds on securing my stuff before I spend one cent on any computer for her. It’s not a good message to send that she can get what she wants by behaving horribly.
Wow, that’s determination. Why does she want to use it so badly anyway?
And I agree, no way I would buy her a computer. Even if it wasn’t sending a bad message, I’m petty enough that I would want to watch her twist in the wind after all that crap.
Yeah I’d suggest a different, good (i.e. non guessable), password on EVERYTHING. BIOS, OS, all web browsers (content advisor on IE, download a good content manager for firefox), etc.
Restraining Order is a term that is thrown around a lot but it has a very specific meaning depending on your state. For instance restraining orders in New Jersey are for domestic violence only. I don’t know how many times I had to explain to someone that they can not get a restraining order against a neighbor or othe acquaintance. It is possible (but not easy) for a judge to issue an order that works something like a RO but I have never seen one. And in most states the fact that she is a minor would complicate things even further.
Generally there isn’t much that can be done (don’t know FL laws, going with what I do know). If there is a law that was broken it would not be a felony. In such cases police generally don’t (and in NJ can not) sign complaints on such charges. It would be up to the victim to do it. If they can’t charge her, what would you expect them to do? Policework can not take the place of parenting. Doesn’t stop people from trying. Just before I went on my current leave of absence I had to go on a call so I could tell a twelve year old to go to her room. Like I don’t have enough of that at home.
Again I don’t know specifics for FL but it seems to me that you would have better legal standing if you did have a formal lease which stated which rooms were yours. In states that have more liberal property laws just the fact that you are occupying them would be enough. In other places your claim wouldn’t be very strong.
Another option of course is just a webcam, and some decent software (other posters can suggest some I’m sure), I’m sure video of her breaking down the down door and using the computer should convince her mum.
A webcam saving to a mapped drive over the internet, instructions via pm if desired. If possible there are some very nice battery powered wireless cams available. you may be able to conceal one in view of the outside of your door to document her efforts.
Think nannycam.
I think someone suggested metal guards to put on the doors around the locks to protect the jams. But if you’re willing to call a locksmith and pay money to secure your belongings, then how about having a steel exterior type door installed?
Oh and one more suggestion. Confiscate all the screwdrivers/chisels and any other tools that she could use and keep them in your new fortress. If grandma needs one of the tools she can just wait until you get home. I would find it hard to believe that the girl is using her own screwdriver if she is coming from school since they’d probably consider it a weapon. Also, the added benefit is that she might then try a kitchen knife which will break and likely injure her. Sounds cruel, I know, but maybe she’ll learn.
I’m not so sure. Some people are fairly resistant to facts.
“You just photoshopped it to get my daughter into trouble”.