Richard Hatch (Survivor 1) sentenced to 51 months

What a doofus.

Let’s see how much of that time he spends running around naked.

Dropped the soap.


I see a new game in the future.

Survivor: San Quentin!

What’s amazing is how incredibly stupid Hatch’s crimes were. How could he possibly have thought he’d get away with them? Although for that matter, how did he get away with them as long as he did?

Richard Hatch, this is your final challenge.
The tribal council has spoken.

That’s pretty freakin’ dumb. Everyone and their mother knows who Richard Hatch is and that he won a bunch of money. Even I do, and I’ve never seen more than two minutes of Survivor in its entire history–I’d rather spoon-feed burning magnesium to my pupils for weeks on end than watch a single episode of any reality TV show, but even I would check out his return first, before the baseball players, lottery winners, Fortune 500 CEOs, etc. Especially since it’s public how much money he made. How dumb can tax evaders get, really?

Aw, why’d they pick Oklahoma? I live in Oklahoma. We have enough showoffs and nitwits here already.

With apologies to Hues Corporation…

Drop the soap! Don’t drop the soap, baby
Drop the soap! Don’t you bend over…

[Nelson Muntz]

Now if he lived in Canada, this wouldn’t be a problem.

Of course not. Only US citizens can compete on Survivor, so he never would have won a million dollars in the first place.

What’s even dumber is that he should have known better, based on what he was doing for a living before appearing on the show.

IIRC, he was working as a consultant (what kind, I don’t know), so he would already know about 1099s and that there is no tax withheld. He should have saved some of his winnings for taxes at the end of the year, as one would think he was doing while working as a consultant.

That seems like a pretty long sentence for failing to pay taxes, even on that much money.

I’m thinking that this might have something to do with it:

If he’d fessed up when first confronted, and agreed to pay the money back, he might have gotten away with a fine and/or a much shorter sentence.

Seems like I remember him not declaring income on some rental property or something. He had a little more going against him than just the Survivor winnings.

I think it was as much about his lying every time he opened his mouth as it was the money. He makes me wonder if he didn’t actually *want * to go to jail. Won’t he do half the time he was sentenced to?

I always thought that when you won money on one of those shows, they deducted the taxes before they even sent you the check. At least that was my perception from a friend whose daughter won some cash on a game show once.

And welcome back, Boyo Jim. Where have you been hiding for the past year?

Do you mean because game show and lottery winnings aren’t taxed here?

Him going to prison is part of a super-secret new Fox reality show. Remember folks, you heard it here first.

Hmmm. If he starts passing out red roses to the guys on his cellblock, I’m lunging for the remote…