A 13 year old boy is suspended and faces expulsion for An assault with a rubber band
he didn’t even “shoot” it anybody (you know that thing you do when you shoot it off your finger) he tossed it on his teacher’s desk.
It could have went in her eye? Are they fucking serious?
And they’re classifying it on the same level as arson, bomb threats and explosives?
What are these people smoking? Who are the asswipes who write these numbskull policies?
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, man?
You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.
A rubber band is a level four offense. Good thing he didn’t put a pencil on his desk or he’d have gotten the death penalty.
Course, in my hands a rubber band is a lethal weapon. I just managed to keep my deadly skins in check during school hours.
Rubber bands are a gateway weapon. The little shit deserves to eat rats in jail. 
This is, without the tiniest scintilla of doubt, the stupidest thing I have ever heard. And I mean E.v.e.r. I’m not just saying that for hyperbolic effect either. This is genuinely the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Now I’ve heard a lot of comically idiotic bullshit in my time, God created the world in 6 days, the centre of the earth is hollow, Michael Jackson’s only had two nosejobs, all kinds of dumb stuff. The crucial difference between that kind of garbage and this shit is that all the other stuff is merely mentally stunted. This teachers actions are mentally stunting. I actually feel dumber for having thought about it. Now that’s some powerful stupid.
The sad part is that I can all but guarantee we’ll hear an even stupider one by St. Patrick’s Day. It just keeps going down and down.
While the cynic in me concurs, pragmatically I think we’ve hit rock bottom as far as idiotic zero-tolerance policy implementations are concerned. The only way it could possibly get dumber is if they were to contrive a bullshit threat into an even more innocuous action, like suspending a kid for being “sharply” dressed or something.
Hells bells. One of these some unfortunate kid who had broccoli and burritos for dinner is gonna let loose a canvas-tearing fart and they’ll suspend him for maliciously brandishing a loaded anus, or something like that. :rolleyes:
Or some poor kid barfs all over the floor, and then gets suspended for creating a “level 4 biohazard.”
Only if he ate the dreaded “vending machine” food that is now the bane of The Children[sup]TM[/sup]
In situations like this (where ONLY the kids point of view is made public). I’d at least like to take a bit of a wait and see attitude.
For example…the “Level 4” distinction COULD be as a result of a pattern of previous behavior…this latest incident being the item to escalate it to such a status. Of course this is pure speculation on my part…but that’s a result of the nature of these kinds of school incidents that involve privacy restrictions on information.
boys using rubbers in school? Wait til Wildmon hears about this!!!
Won’t someone think of the children!?!?!?!!?
I think he shot (not tossed) it at her desk top. The suspension is still bullshit. Jeez, I would never have made it through school if I had to do it again today. I had horrible aim with spitballs; I never knew where they were going to go. And remember the football game with a folded up piece of paper? You could put out an eye with that. And let’s not even talk about protracters.
I can remember actually shooting the paper “footballs” across the room with the rubber bands. I suppose they’d have to call out a SWAT team for that now.
And what about paper airplanes? Would those be considered a military attack?
It’s people like the ones in this story who make me glad my wife and I are not having any children. If it were my son, I would feel like a colossal failure for having placed him in the care of morons who could come up with this unbelievable bullshit. What the fuck is wrong with people nowadays?
Rubber bands?
Hell, some of my friends used their shop period to make high-powered slingshots out of steel tubing, with a rubber firing mechanism that stretched back about two feet and could hurl a tighly-rolled ball of aluminium foil half the length of a football field.
If you got one of them in the side, it stung like a son-of-a-bitch. I’m surprised none of us lost an eye.
I dunno yet. The whole thing is so bizarre, that the only true fact that jumps out at me is that this story broke on a local television news broadcast. The choice of words used in describing the events skews the semantic loading in favor of the kid, and against the teacher.
If this story as reported is substantially accurate, I would not be surprised to learn of prior bad blood between young Master Gomez and his science teacher. Some serious button-pushing would have to have been going on.
I don’t trust the graphic on the TV station’s website as being a photograph of the actual rubber band involved in the incident (or even a replica). A rubber band that a kid finds on the ground is garbage, not contraband. It doesn’t make sense to me that the teacher would tell him to give it to her instead of simply to “throw it away” or “get rid of it.”
I don’t have high expectations of getting a true picture of this incident any time soon. Rather, some time in the next eighteen months, an email is going to start making the rounds, offering this as evidence that public schools are a taxpayer-money-wasting, no-common-sense-having, obsolete institution that needs to be deep-sixed for the sake of our nation’s future. Maybe in two years, it will have been debunked by snopes, and the article will have the complete story.
At the school where I taught, explosives rigged above a teacher’s piano got the kid a three day suspension.
Threatening to kill the teacher got you transferred to another class.
This kind of disciplinary action is far from the norm or it would never have made the news. I suspect there is much more to the story. It’s possible that the school is prohibited from discussing the situation to protect the child’s privacy.
Parents can go to a newspaper. The school has to go through channels.
She went on to say “In fact, if he had just hurled it harder it could have really hurt. And if he had added mass to it, that would have made it hurt worse. This is really no different than throwing a rock, really, they said.”
“Why, we really don’t know what might have happened if we didn’t intervene. Mass is dangerous stuff, in the hands of children, and when they start mixing it with velocity things get really scary.”
“This was only the first part of my plan.” said the teenager from his cell deep within the earth, through a series of translators and closed-circuit cameras designed to keep us all safe from his evil thoughts. “They don’t know what I am capable of.”
“We have spoken with several of the student’s classmates.” said investigators. “Our sources inform us that the student planned to accelerate the rubber band to .9999999 the speed of light. Some evidence was also found of a sophisticated rubber-band refinement processor in his locker, dedicated to the proliferation of weapons-grade rubberbands.”
President Bush had no comment.
There aren’t enough :wally s in the world for this one, no matter how you slice it.