Rise of the machines: IBM scientists simulate cat brain in supercomputer

IBM scientists have simulated a cat brain in a computer. The computer has 144 terabytes of RAM and over 147,000 processors. The simulation runs 100 times slower than a real cat brain. Link.

What does it do - lie inactive most of the day and occasionally stare off into space, inbetween mewling for sustenance?

And sits in sunbeams to recharge its batteries. I swear cats are solar-powered.

Oh, cats do much more than that. For instance, my trio spend a lot of time horking. There’s also that period of frantic activity, known variously as “the midnight crazies”, “Kitty Deathrace 3000”, or “the rips”. One of my cats likes to Supervise Her Humans, which involves watching a human do something and loudly pointing out the mistakes, but she’s Siamese, so she’s nuts. My husband’s cat must have a game of Fetch when my husband comes home, and then he (the cat, not my husband) chews on my husband’s left shoe for a while. If my husband has been so foolish or thoughtless as to remove his left shoe before Charlie has chewed and clawed it into submission, well, then Charlie just makes do with my husband’s left foot.

That is so perfect! I forwarded it to people at work!!

Oh not at all.

It simply ignores all input from the user.

That’s not a difficult program; feed me, pet me, sleep now with occasional random bits of weirdness.

I wonder if it has an “arrogant disdain” function?

How does a computer use (or not use) the litter box?

If they had managed to simulate a kitten’s brain, the simulation would run 1000 times faster. But it would only generate random numbers.

I thought it was IBM that did this, not Microsoft.

It is. IBM is getting their revenge for M$ pulling out of the OS/2 project. IBM is now doing with hardware what M$ does with software, rendering M$ moot.

Core dump. And you don’t want to be around when a computer with 144 terabytes of RAM dumps core.

Thanks for the link. This is awesome, 100 x slower than a real cat brain is very, very fast. When we simulate new microprocessors to run design verification tests pre-silicon, the simulations run a lot more slowly than that. I expect neuron simulation parallelizes very nicely. I had no idea they had gotten so far.

I’m quite convinced that the first successful conscious computer will be run on a brain simulation, not on a bunch of AI programs.

I wonder how they mapped the cat’s neurons.

Color me unimpressed.

A computer that you can crash with a laser pointer or a bit of string? Phht.

“Rise of the Machines” is correct! Why in the world would they want to simulate a cat brain? Cats are most well known for secretly plotting the death and destruction of their owners.

They could have at least started with imbecilic dogs. On a daily basis they don’t do much more than cats, they just do different things:

[li]Knock shit off coffee table with tail.[/li][li]Voraciously eat food and track bits of kibble all over the kitchen.[/li][li]Repeat with water.[/li][li]Knock shit off your coffee table again[/li][li]Lick your face with their stank ass dog breath[/li][li]et cetera[/li][/ul]

God I hate dogs.

Does this mean we might get a spell check installed on those LOL cat things one of these days? Or does it just mean they are going to set a new limit for ‘viral’?

“Dharmendra Modha”? That’s the strangest spelling of “Sivasubramanian Chandra” I’ve ever seen.

I recently saw Terminator Salvation and now this. I feel scared.

Here’sthe instruction guide.

Computers already have this, “Abort, Retry, Fail” ring any bells?