Road trip - Trans-Canada in November

[Mama_Zappa]

Oh, and :o for the info on what a US vs Interstate highway is - I honestly didn’t notice that the OP was from Frank - as in, you know perfectly well what those are. I just ASSumed it was a Canadian poster. :smack:

[Kilvert_s_Pagan]

@Muffin

So a fellow inherits some land from his mother in Nolalu. After growing pot on it for a few years, he sells it to a buddy and heads for Central America, where he travels about for a few years with a couple of girlfriends.

One of the girlfriends wanders off, so he marries the remaining girlfriend, and they move into a sailboat that she inherited from her father in Florida. Eventually she sells it and they move back to Nolalu, where he builds a shack out of found materials on the land that he had previously sold to his Buddy.

Allegedly, they subsist by growing and selling pot. Despite being arrested repeatedly, they always get off by claiming that it is the Buddy who is growing, not them. Similarly, every time the Buddy gets arrested, he gets off by claiming that it is the squatters who are growing, not him. The arrests cause friction between Buddy and the squatters, but it’s hard to stay angry for too long with your toking pals.

The squatters integrate so well back into the community that they start spouse swapping. This eventually leads to divorces, when after a period of many years, an ongoing swap with another couple turns sour and each spouse moves in permanently with the other couple’s spouse, although everyone still regularly sleeps with everyone else despite the divorces.

That’s when the squatter wife sues her husband for a matrimonial division of the property owned by the fellow’s Buddy, including the shack with running water. The husband’s defence includes “the only thing running about the water was me running back and forth with buckets to the creek.” She also sued for support based on income derived from their “garden” (their alleged pot growing enterprise), and from his busking (he is not a bad street-corner guitar player and singer). Meanwhile, the Buddy who owned the land was wondering how in hell a squatter’s wife could sue a squatter for land that neither of them owned or had a right to be on. Despite the lawsuit between the squatters, and the great concern Buddy has about claims against his land, and the two couples having permanently swapped spouses, everyone is still going at it like rabbits with each other, and toking like fiends.

The property claim against the husband was dropped following examinations, when the wife’s lawyer decided that it would be futile to proceed against the husband in court because “he looks just like Jesus Christ,” which he does. In fact, the lot of them are all very physically attractive, well spoken and interesting hippies.

So if you are ever in Nolalu, and see a fellow who looks just like Jesus Christ wandering about playing a guitar, your doorway to pot smoking and fornication with various members of either sex, either individually or collectively, is now wide open.

That’s Nolalu.

To put it another way, yesterday when I momentarily confused the village of Nolalu with the nearby village of Hymers, my client exclaimed “Oh god! No, I’m not from Nolalu, I’m from Hymers! I’m not one of THEM!”

Thank you for a very entertaining post.

[Kilvert_s_Pagan]

@matt_mcl

@Muffin

On the flip side, however, if you stop in Nolalu, you can sodomize the hillbillies.

Which exit is that?

Umm… the one in the rear?

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Oh, you silly people. Calling the drive over Superior “Northern”. They have Northern Stores and everything, that just blows me away. Kenora - Lake of the Woods area is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been, and I’ve been some pretty neato places. I’ve never been there in the winter, but I’ll bet it’s just as stunning.

It’ll be fun, Frank. Enjoy it.

[Frank]

@Spoons

If I can ask, what’s the purpose of your trip?

Ottawa was a mistake, for job-hunting purposes anyway. It’s a shame; I quite like the city, but it’s just not working out.

I’ve seen multiple advertisements for exactly what I know how to do (Oracle Forms & Reports, PL/SQL) in Edmonton and I guess I should have gone there in the first place.

Mama Zappa, yeah, the only reason to go into the States would be so more of the trip would be on four lane highways, and that’s not a big deal to me.

[Spoons]

@Frank

Ottawa was a mistake, for job-hunting purposes anyway. It’s a shame; I quite like the city, but it’s just not working out.

I’ve seen multiple advertisements for exactly what I know how to do (Oracle Forms & Reports, PL/SQL) in Edmonton and I guess I should have gone there in the first place.

Sorry to hear that Ottawa didn’t work out, but I hope things go better in Edmonton. Our economy in Alberta is going quite well, and you should be fine. No guarantees, of course, but I seem to recall a recent local news item that said unemployment was at the lowest point it’s been at in 30 years, or something like that. So your chances are very good, at any rate.

I don’t know Edmonton quite as well as I could, but I’d be happy to help, if I can. Just let me know.

[meek]

Frank - if you get work here in Edmonton, have you got a place to live?

If you wanted to rent, the vacancy rate here is less than 1 percent and it’s very difficult to get a decent apartment. Many existing apartments are being converted into condos and rent has skyrocketed in recent months. I read in the paper that in Fort McMurray, rent went up from 800-900 per month to over 2K per month!

In Edmonton, the average home price has doubled in two years and is now close to 400K. :eek:

But the bright side is that there are thousands of homes for sale. Selection has never been better.

I have lived here all my life, so before you commit to a neighbourhood, drop me a line and I can give you the complete lowdown on any area in this city.

I have just purchased a new home in the North east part of the city, and I move in on November 30th. So I’ll be pretty busy that week - but let me know when you hit town and I’d be happy to answer any questions over a beer or a steak.

Have a safe trip.
.

[Frank]

@meek

If you wanted to rent, the vacancy rate here is less than 1 percent and it’s very difficult to get a decent apartment. Many existing apartments are being converted into condos and rent has skyrocketed in recent months.

craigslist shows quite a few decent, albeit expensive apartments. Would you mind eyeballing it and telling me if it’s utter bullshit?

[Cat_Whisperer]

You’re from Colorado, so you’re taking us seriously when we say travel with a survival kit in your car, right? We hear news stories every single winter about families that die on the highway due to exposure - the car breaks down, dad tries to walk for help, he dies, the family dies - it’s all bad. End of November is a weather free-for-all - you can have anything happen between here and Ottawa.

Don’t let them tell you Manitoba and Saskatchewan are boring - you can see forever. What’s boring about that?

That said, here’s hoping Alberta works out for you! Expensive to live here, but lots of jobs and a booming economy.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Have you thought about aiming further South? It’s booming all over, not just Edmonton. Lethbridge, Red Deer - smaller, but just as booming, and more affordable to live.

[Farmer_Oak]

@Frank

craigslist shows quite a few decent, albeit expensive apartments. Would you mind eyeballing it and telling me if it’s utter bullshit?

I think those are probably decent, but in that kind of housing market I wouldn’t be surprised if they get snapped up on the same day they’re posted or shortly thereafter.

[Frank]

@featherlou

You’re from Colorado, so you’re taking us seriously when we say travel with a survival kit in your car, right?

Oh, yes.

@GingerOfTheNorth

Have you thought about aiming further South? It’s booming all over, not just Edmonton. Lethbridge, Red Deer - smaller, but just as booming, and more affordable to live.

I’ve got the interview process going with two different places in Edmonton. If I see my line of work advertised in those other places, I shall certainly apply.

[Frank]

@Farmer Oak

…I wouldn’t be surprised if they get snapped up on the same day they’re posted or shortly thereafter.

I should think so too. I don’t expect to find a place until I’m there; I’m just trying to get a feel for it.

[Cat_Whisperer]

Heck, why go all the way to Edmonton? Saskatoon isn’t being called “Saskaboom” for nothing, you know. And here’s a little secret that we don’t want a lot of people to know - there are fantastic lakes very close to Saskatoon, if that’s your kind of thing.

[Northern_Piper]

@Kilvert's Pagan

A ground blizzard is not a precipitation event - it’s a wind-driven rearrangement of the precipitation that’s already on the ground. As Frank would know from having lived in Colorado, the mix of high winds and powder snow can cut visibility to zero and make roads treacherous, even though if one were to look straight up, the sky might be completely clear.

We just call that “blowing snow” - snow that blows across the road, but without precipitation. “Snow and blowing snow” means it’s snowing and snow is blowing across the roads, but it’s not yet a blizzard. “Blizzard” means high winds and snow falling - more dangerous to be on the highways.

[Frank]

@Northern Piper

We just call that “blowing snow” - snow that blows across the road, but without precipitation. “Snow and blowing snow” means it’s snowing and snow is blowing across the roads, but it’s not yet a blizzard. “Blizzard” means high winds and snow falling - more dangerous to be on the highways.

Just terminology, I guess. They do close highways for it. One time when I was returning to Colorado from Ohio right after snow had fallen, I had to stay in Kansas for two days waiting for the highway to be reopened. When I drove through, the snow was piled feet deep in the ditches and stuff, but there was almost none on the exposed areas.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

I can’t say that I ever experienced a road closure in Canada, for anything other than perhaps sewer construction.

[Bryan_Ekers]

I made this exact trip in November of 1997 (well, actually, it was one segment in an 18,000 km road trip) and aside from it being boring as hell, what with mile after mile of chilled wheat, I didn’t have any problems.

[Northern_Piper]

@GingerOfTheNorth

I can’t say that I ever experienced a road closure in Canada, for anything other than perhaps sewer construction.

Oh, it happens around here for blizzards regularly enough - maybe once a winter. But it’s not usual around this time of the year - late December onwards is more common.

[percussion]

@Frank

There is some chance that I will be driving to Edmonton from Ottawa by the end of November. Any hints or tips on the highway? Are motels and restaurants going to be fairly readily available? Gas stations?

What are my chances of getting into impassable weather conditions? Should I hunker down in Sault Ste Marie making sure the coast is clear for a dash around Lake Superior to Thunder Bay? Do the Canadian plains get ground blizzards like Colorado does?

Anything I should know?

trans-canada?! I mean really…