Roaming Charges From Orbit

I happened upon this thread and was wondering about cell phone coverage and charges. Despite repeated calls to ATT, Verizon, et al. they hadn’t a clue.
I am Lost In Space and need to call home. dag nabbit.

You wouldn’t get a signal in the first place, since the antennas are directional, and aren’t aimed up.

If you did get a signal, you’d be changing cells far quicker than the system was designed to accommodate, and so would very quickly get your call dropped.

If you got a signal and somehow managed to convince the system to keep transferring your call to new cells, the roaming charges would be calculated based on the tower you were over. You wouldn’t be charged for the 300 vertical miles.

You don’t get cell phone coverage in space. The orientation of the tower antennas makes it difficult at altitudes over 8,000 feet higher than a tower. It’s been tried, you might get a signal up higher than that, but reported attempts show a lot of failed connections.

It worked for ET. Wonder what his roaming charges came to?