Robin Williams Plan For U.S. Affairs

JerseyDiamond · October 13, 2003, 3:24am

Well, considering it is jerseydiamond posting this, I figured it should be in the PIT. I am sure I will get a lot of,
[shrieky voice] “Jerseydiamond, how could you post such a horrible thing” [/shrieky voice] lol

Anyway, I got this in an e-mail, though I’d share it.

Subject: Robin Williams Plan For U.S. Affairs
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan…
Robin Williams’ plan…(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan

The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those ‘good ole boys.’ We will never “interfere” again.

We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

No “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home baby.

The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer.

The Language we speak is ENGLISH…learn it…or LEAVE…

Now, ain’t that a winner of a plan.

“The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?’” -

Earl_of_the_CC · October 13, 2003, 3:28am

So… are you in support with this or what? What is your take on the views expressed in the e-mail?

brianjedi · October 13, 2003, 3:34am

Snopes.

Brutus · October 13, 2003, 3:35am

It doesn’t strike me as something that Robin ‘Mork from Ork’ Williams would approve of, but the plan does have a certain appeal to it.

Pixiesnix · October 13, 2003, 3:35am

It’s a fraud.

Pixiesnix · October 13, 2003, 3:36am

Damn, brianjedi beat me to it. I wanted to help fight ignorance, goshdarnit!

Governor_Quinn · October 13, 2003, 3:36am

Darn, brianjedi beat me to it.

Miller · October 13, 2003, 3:37am

Boy, that sounds just like Robin Williams, doesn’t it? After all, he is most famous for his ill-informed and humorless reactionary political diatribes.

Fuckin’ A. I always wondered how gullible you’d have to be to believe in Creationism. Now I know. Next time, try posting this to your recycling bin, where there is a substantially greater chance that someone who gives a fuck will see it.

Reepicheep · October 13, 2003, 3:37am

Debunked on snopes

Earl_of_the_CC · October 13, 2003, 3:38am

Damn, they’re 1920’s style "brianjedi’s

brianjedi · October 13, 2003, 3:38am

Sorry to spoil the fun, guys, but I guess I just got here first with the link.

mhendo · October 13, 2003, 3:38am

It’s good to see that wide-eyed credulity is alive and well.

Reepicheep · October 13, 2003, 3:39am

Sorry – I was getting my URL right and brianjedi and KCSuze beat me to it.

Guinastasia · October 13, 2003, 3:40am

Jersey, not only is that a fake, but it happens to be one of the most UNChristian things I’ve ever heard.

You worship a guy who said, “Love thy neighbor, give all your wealth to others, do unto others as you would have done unto you,” and then you go around spewing this shit.

Get thee behind me, Hypocrite! Pharisee, thy name is Jersey Diamond.

:rolleyes:

Pixiesnix · October 13, 2003, 3:40am

Now Governor Quinn and I are thinking alike. You and brianjedi can do sooo much better than to think like me.

Lynn_Bodoni · October 13, 2003, 3:40am

Not surprisingly, Snopes says that this is false. JerseyDiamond, please don’t post glurge on the Straight Dope. I found the information on this in less than 5 minutes, including the time it took to close Snopes’ popups.

Lynn
For the Straight Dope

Guinastasia · October 13, 2003, 3:42am

Oh, and on second glance, I noticed it mentioned we got rid of Noriega.

Too bad we were the ones who trained him in the first place.
[sub]coughschooloftheassassinscough[/sub]

Lynn_Bodoni · October 13, 2003, 3:43am

::exasperation:: Sheesh, I come in dead last!

brianjedi · October 13, 2003, 3:43am

I beat Lynn to a link? Cool!

Last post, I swear.