Roger Ebert really hated these movies

[LavenderBlue]

Roger Ebert's 20 Most Epic Movie Pans

Snerk.

[astorian]

I didn’t bother to read the reviews- it’s entirely possible that Ebert wrote hilarious or insightful pans of the movies in question.

Still… the great majority of those films were utter turds that almost EVERY critic panned and that almost every viewer hated. It’s not exactly news that North and ***Freddy Got Fingered ***were terrible movies that almost NOBODY liked.

Armageddon and*** Thor ***were about the only hits on his list, and even those were just comic book/action movies that almost nobody took very seriously.

I’d be more interested in reading a scathing Ebert review of a film that most other critics (and much of the public) absolutely LOVED. As it is, most of the reviews you linked to are just piling on.

[don_t_ask]

@astorian

I’d be more interested in reading a scathing Ebert review of a film that most other critics (and much of the public) absolutely LOVED. As it is, most of the reviews you linked to are just piling on.

Dream on. Ebert was a very easy marker.

According to metacritic.com Ebert rates movies about 10% better than the average critic and in 75% of his reviews rates the movie better than it rates on average. His 4 star truly outstanding films include plenty that while watchable wouldn’t be considered outstanding by most. Things such as

Across The Universe
The American President
Auto Focus
Bee Season
The Contender
Kalifornia
Lakeview Terrace
Perfume
The Polar Express
The Upside of Anger

If you look through the list of his reviews it would seem that the majority of his reviews are in the 3 to 4 star range (75, 88 or 100%).

[PlainJain]

@LavenderBlue

Roger Ebert's 20 Most Epic Movie Pans

Snerk.

I think I’m missing the point of your post. Did you think these were good movies?

[randwill]

@PlainJain

I think I’m missing the point of your post. Did you think these were good movies?

I’m guessing (hoping) the OP is snerking at Ebert’s humorous comments.

[Jophiel]

@PlainJain

I think I’m missing the point of your post. Did you think these were good movies?

I assume it’s just so people can read some entertaining negative reviews.

That list is missing my personal favorite negative review, Wolf Creek.

There is a role for violence in film, but what the hell is the purpose of this sadistic celebration of pain and cruelty? The theaters are crowded right now with wonderful, thrilling, funny, warm-hearted, dramatic, artistic, inspiring, entertaining movies. If anyone you know says this is the one they want to see, my advice is: Don’t know that person no more.

[MeanOldLady]

@astorian

I’d be more interested in reading a scathing Ebert review of a film that most other critics (and much of the public) absolutely LOVED. As it is, most of the reviews you linked to are just piling on.

Critics are too chickenshit to openly dislike anything that their clan has deemed worthy. Is there any well-known critic who’s (rightfully) trashed “Tree of Life”? I’d pay money to read that.*
*Not really.

[LavenderBlue]

@PlainJain

I think I’m missing the point of your post. Did you think these were good movies?

I thought he was a really good writer and posters might enjoy reading some of his more amusing lines after his death. Sorry I didn’t make that clearer in the OP. I bought my husband this book of Ebert’s least favorite movies for his birthday one year. It’s very funny stuff.

[randwill]

@MeanOldLady

Critics are too chickenshit to openly dislike anything that their clan has deemed worthy. Is there any well-known critic who’s (rightfully) trashed “Tree of Life”?

I don’t know where the ‘well-known’ line is but 42 out of 253 critics wrote reviews of “Tree of Life” that were labeled ‘Rotten’ by Rotten Tomatoes.

[grude]

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800716/REVIEWS/7160301/1023

Years ago I read that review, and sought out the movie. I can’t say I enjoyed it, but Ebert was too harsh on it. And most of the reason seems to be that some dude in the audience he viewed it really liked rape!

[RealityChuck]

@MeanOldLady

Critics are too chickenshit to openly dislike anything that their clan has deemed worthy.

How on Earth does that work? Do critics develop telepathy to know what other critics are going to say about the film? Do the text each other in the theater? Do they have secret meetings to decide how to treat a new film? When do these happen?

When critics see a film, they are watching it at the same time as most other critics. Explain how they know what others are going to say about it.

Explain also why 90 and greater fresh scores by top critics are extremely rare at Rotten Tomatoes. If they’re all working together, then shouldn’t all scores be in that area?

And to what end? What reason would a critic care whether his opinion matches others?

[Smapti]

@RealityChuck

How on Earth does that work? Do critics develop telepathy to know what other critics are going to say about the film? Do the text each other in the theater? Do they have secret meetings to decide how to treat a new film? When do these happen?

Movie idea: An aspiring young critic is marked for death by his fellow critics after refusing to give a movie the review they ordered him to.

[randwill]

@RealityChuck

How on Earth does that work? Do critics develop telepathy to know what other critics are going to say about the film? Do the text each other in the theater? Do they have secret meetings to decide how to treat a new film? When do these happen?

When critics see a film, they are watching it at the same time as most other critics. Explain how they know what others are going to say about it.

Explain also why 90 and greater fresh scores by top critics are extremely rare at Rotten Tomatoes. If they’re all working together, then shouldn’t all scores be in that area?

And to what end? What reason would a critic care whether his opinion matches others?

Must be something like this:

The Simpsons Stonecutters Song

[Cheesesteak]

The link is worth it just for this

It’s a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It’s so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don’t know the secret anymore. And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we’re back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets.

[Leaper]

I remember (IIRC) Richard Belzer reading aloud that paragraph of the review of North at Rob Reiner’s roast. What a moment.

And I too have Ebert’s first book of entertaining pans. I’ve flipped through the second.

[Hermione]

Aw. I liked The Village. The thing is, I think the twist works well in service of the story, which is billed as a thriller but ends up being a psychological drama in thriller’s clothing. It’s a nice meditation on how we handle fear in the post 9/11 era…is it best to withdraw from the troubles of the outside world? And can we ever really “shut out” the worst aspects of reality? (Or, as another commentator put it, when we lock up the monsters in the closet, do we only end up letting loose the ones under the bed?) Or is it best to try to DEAL head-on with these things and not let go of hope, of love, of engaging with the world?

I also liked Thor and was rather surprised when Roger, usually so open-minded when it came to genre movies, was so harsh with it. I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I was but the main strength of the movie was the characters.

[Larry_Borgia]

I thought Thor was the best of those movies. I liked it a lot more than The Dark Knight.

[Skywatcher]

I think the problem with Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles is that they couldn’t decide on what sort of movie they were making. Could have been so much better had they did a satire of the entire movie making business.

[Caricci]

Jeez, there are a number of crabs in this thread.

If you enjoy scathing and amusingly written comments, that’s all you need to know. What the movies are hardly matters.

[kaylasdad99]

@MeanOldLady

Critics are too chickenshit to openly dislike anything that their clan has deemed worthy. Is there any well-known critic who’s (rightfully) trashed “Tree of Life”? I’d pay money to read that.*

@randwill

I don’t know where the ‘well-known’ line is but 42 out of 253 critics wrote reviews of “Tree of Life” that were labeled ‘Rotten’ by Rotten Tomatoes.

Leonard Maltin probably counts as “well-known.” His is a video review, though, so you can’t read it.