I’d have gone in a more meta direction if I was the director.
Example: Roseanne wins first prize at the Lanford County Fair Pie Eating Contest. The prize is singing the national anthem at the season opening game of their local minor league baseball team, the Lanford Ludites.
The crowd becomes incensed upon hearing Roseanne’s horrendous rendition of the anthem. Boos and jeers ensue. [Cut to team members grimacing in disgust and one by one taking a knee] … [cut to Dan and the rest of the Conners shrugging and looking embarrassed].
Mid-way through the song, cut to a drunk in the stadium [played by Tom Arnold] who grabs a can of Lanford Lite Beer from his cooler and hurls it toward the singer. [Slo-mo the can tumbling through the air].
The can connects with Roseanne’s forehead. She falls backward with an audible thump flat on her back like a fallen redwood and later dies at the hospital from massive cerebral hemorrhage.
When the telemetry monitor flatlines, Dan looks to the rest of the family and asks, “who wants pizza?” [fade away: “I want pepperoni” … “I want sausage” … “I want anchovies …].
A very special episode, indeed.
Episode 2: Dan Hooks Up With Nancy [Sarah Bernhard]