The absolute best single piece of advice that can be offered to a kid who’s never been in a fight, but has a promised appointment right after school.
Don’t.
The possible risk definitely outweighs any benefit of getting in to a fist fight you can avoid. If you don’t know how to defend yourself, you’re in trouble from the start once things get physical.
Thanks for the reply. I partially agree. It’s not allways avoidable though. Allow yourself to labor under the illusion that every other alternative has been exhasted. Plus, if he were to run away, how would someone learn to defend themselve if this turned into a fearfull habbit (which it probably would.?)
It partially depends on the age of those involved. The younger the participants in the fight, the more likely it will be a “wrestling” fight, versus a “boxing” fight. It’s pretty easy to pick up some wrestling moves that would allow you to get the upper hand. I would recommend reading a book on the subject and practicing on a safe opponent, like a brother. If it’s likely to be a fist fight or weapons are involved, I’d have to say avoid it at all costs unless properly trained.
If the fight happens to be with someone who is well known for picking fights, standing up to them might be enough to do the trick. Most bullies have a fear of being hurt, they usually win through intimidation.
This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the movie 7 Samurai. A fellow who is trying to hire samurai comes upon a ronin, chopping wood with his sword at his side.
“You’re pretty good with that axe. Are you any good at killing enemies?”
“Well… I’m pretty good, but you can never kill ALL your enemies, so I always end up running away.”
All boxers suffer some brain damage.
Not that i’m giving you advice on violence. But lets just say…my little brother asked me this same question. As a black belt with 8 years of experirence in tae kwon do…i would tell him to go for the nose. Punch hard, and punch fast. And stay quick on your toes. Dodge his punches, and try not to let it turn into a grappling fight. If you all get on the ground, keep going for the nose, or go for some rib shots.
Thats what i would tell my little brother anyway. I’m not advising to go the violent route here.
Conti
I guess we really need a little information on the ages of the children involved. For young children, say under 11, I’d advise standing up to bullies. As someone else has said they rarely want to actually risk a fight and usually give up if you fight back. If it’s older children or there’s any chance of weapons being involved, definitely not worth it if he’s untrained.
If you know when and where this is going to happen I’d advise you or some other adult or an older brother to hang around on the other side of the street just to make sure nothing nasty happens. It’s also a geat morale boost providing you don’t interfere.
As for the fight itself, usually with small children there’s a fair bit of name calling, push and shove etc. before the actual fight starts. I’d follow Conti’s advice. As soon as the other child does anything that justifies assault, even a push on the shoulder, hit him hard on the nose or around the eye and keep going. Small children very, very rarely get seriously hurt in fights, and this way even if he does get hit he’ll give the other kid something to remember.
I’d never suggest fighting as an adult in this situation, but from my memories of schoolyard fights it’s probably the best course of action here.
I have to go against the majority of responders.
He needs to do it, for several reasons.
First, I used to be a victim of bullies when I was little. Once I started to stand up to it and fight back, they stopped wanting to fight. Yeah, I got my ass kicked a few times, but they don’t generally want to have to kick your ass. Make them do it once or twice, they’ll see that you’re a hassle, and find an easier target. ESPECIALLY if you get in a few good shots and hurt them.
Second, The boost of confidence that comes from surviving a school fight is beyond compare, especially for a child.
Third, and maybe most importantly, You cannot run away from problems forever. And it’s not a habit I recommend forming when you’re young.
I’d definitely say if you can’t talk your way out of it, definitly do NOT run or hide. The teasing and shame that come from running away from a fight pale in comparison to standing up and losing with dignity.
School is a different world from the one adults live in, complete with predators and prey. It’s best not to be considered prey, and remember that the grownups won’t always be there to protect your kid. It’s likely that eventually the fight will happen. Better to get it over with and salvage your pride.
I agree with Gaspode. The child needs stand up for himself to promote his own selfesteem. If he keeps running from fights he may never get the selfconfidence he needs.
Requests for advice of this nature always do better in MPSIMS. I’ll move the thread over there for you.
I agree with Gaspode, too. If the kids are under 11, let 'em fight. It’s part of growing up. Once the kids get to junior high age or so, though, they get bigger and heavier and can do serious damage with their blows.
I also agree with DMC that many of the younger kids go right to the ground when they start fighting. I’ve taken some Gracie Jiu-Jitsu in the past, and I find that style to be very effective when you’re talking grappling or groundfighting. A nice arm bar or other submission hold would be a great lesson to a bully.