“Kid, I just Googled Abe Froman. You don’t look anything like him. Why don’t you just request our food from Uber Eats or something?”
“Mr. Foley, unless I get an email from the homeowners, we’re not stopping any work on this house.”
“Dad, I just checked TripAdvisor and TheMooseAtTheFront.com. Wally World will be closed for 6 weeks.”
“Oh good. Death Star plans. Let me just upload these to Dropbox aaaaaand… sent.”
“Hey I just Googled Jeffrey Lebowski’s name. It turns out there are two of them living in this city; maybe we should double-check the address to make sure we get the right one.”
"Starling, this is Jack Crawford in Chicago. STAND DOWN! Jame Gumb is living in Marion, Ohio, in the house you’re about to call on.
"Local police will be there shortly, followed by SWAT.
.
.
.
“Good work kid!”
can I ruin a TV show?
before we help Kramer buy this air conditioner, let me make a note on my phone of the cars parking spot.
Also if anyone wanders off, just send a group text so we can meet up at the car.
“Bear left at fork up here, Brad, the GPS on my phone says that that other road dead-ends at a creepy Victorian mansion full of weirdos and perverts and is actually a spaceship from another galaxy.”
“Good thing we have a 12-volt usb charger in the car, Janet.”
“At the Albuquerque city limits in one mile, turn left and continue digging your tunnel for 550 miles. You will then arrive at your destination, the Coachella Valley Carrot Festival.” (Not so recent, maybe, but too good to pass up.)
Guys, I’m checking Kaiser Soze’s Facebook page and…Hey…!
@HowardBeale: “When I asked you guys to open up your Windows and yell how mad you are, this isn’t what I meant. #EnoughAlready #BeLessMad”
“Kevin, I see you on the Nest Cam. I’ll call 911 and forward the security footage to the police. keep the door locked.”
My joke was that the detective would have handed the transcript of the interview to a rookie and found out about the deception the next day.
“We checked the security camera in the lobby, and it turns out that Norman went through there dressed up like his dead mother.”
“Hey, Romeo, don’t worry. Juliet is just faking being dead. Get into the tomb and wait, she’ll wake up”
Text message of course.
So far recent means between 20 and 40 years ago. Heh. Or several hundred if you extend to plays.
“Iceberg, right ahead, range 5 nautical miles by radar.”
Brad: “We must have a blowout.”
Janet: “Alright, lemme call AAA on my cell phone”
I want this app that tells you if a creepy house is actually an alien spaceship.
Even if it’s false 99% of the time, it’d be fun to check.
“Enhance… enhance… enhance… Look there is a one armed man after all. Well I’ll be…”
Probably from a Yelp review. “Whatever you do, don’t order the meatloaf.”
“I didn’t make it…for you!”
Mortimer, I just searched Twitter for comments of frozen concentrated orange juice, and there are literally zero mentions of any problems with the supply. The rumors of problems in Russia might be #FakeNews.