“A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”
“Must be a piss-poor kingdom.”
“At least he hasn’t got shit all over 'im.”
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars. Thanks Obama.
The undiscovere’d country, from whose bourn No traveller returns, without a good GPS and sturdy boots.
How then would a post-Shakespearian “ball a kittle”?
Friends, Romans, countrymen - Yo, listen up.
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveller returns, except for my father, who did it in Act I.
Tybalt
Mercutio, thou consortest with Romeo—
Mercutio
Consort! What, dost thou make us menstrels? And thou make menstrels of us, look to hear nothing but discords. Here’s my fiddlestick, here’s that shall make you dance. ’Zounds, consort!
Benvolio
We talk here in the public haunt of men.
Either withdraw unto some private place,
Or reason coldly of your grievances,
Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us.
Mercutio
Men’s eyes were made to look, and let them gaze;
I will not bulge for no man’s pleasure, I.
How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child, or one who unfriends you on Facebook.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of Outrageous Fortune, or to see if you can find the remote and change the channel.
Romeo, Romeo. I’ve sent you 12 emails, twittered you, befriended you on Facebook, left 7 voice mails, IM’ed you 19 times. Where the hell are you?
I couldn’t figure out how to work this in, but it’s worth a listen.
Tamari and tahini and tabouli
Creaps on at this petit four,
Unto the last sylabub of re-ordered thyme.
And all our yeasty dates
Have only lighted foods
The way to sugar-dusted death.
Yet I’ll not shed her blood
Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow,
smooth as monumental alablaster. Or is it ablabaster? Abalasber!? Ababalster? Allah blast her!
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
now that Caesar is dead, let me hate on him
A lass, poor Yorick!
First thing we do, let’s kill all the mosquitoes.
Antigonus: A savage clamour!
Well may I get aboard! This is the chase:
I am gone for ever.
[Exit, pursued by a bear]
GenZius:
Gotta catch 'em all!
[Exit, pursuing a Pokemon]
It is the east, and Juliet is a hot mess.