QTM and Paprika, I wouldn’t dream of doing the Bugs Bunny routine - I was speaking of a: “Hi Stockton!”…
“Hi Doc, how are ya?” type of greeting. Docs that I know get that greeting occasionally.
You probably haven’t posted enough inane OPs yet. Give it a few minutes.
I wonder what were the rules for your wife’s witch-doctor visit?
Psst, Eirik, the eye chart says “schedule.” If it looks like “schedual” to you, we need to fine-tune that prescription!
Where is your asparagus question? Did I miss it, or was I whooshed?
The answer is that it makes your pee smell. Recent research shows that even if you can’t smell it, it still smells.
I don’t want to start a new thread, so I’ll just mention this here. I’m sure that many folks have used a pin to drain something or another. Last night I used a variable speed drill with the smallest possible bit to drain a pseudo-cyst on my lower lip. It did a good job.
I am not a doctor.
I am not a carpenter.
If you try this, do it at your own risk.
Question to the doctors: Am I an idiot?
Damn it, Early Out, I’m a doctor, not a spelling bee champ! 
Nothing, just pay the money, add human skull, and mix upper arm bone ashes. Go figure.
You should have started a new thread if you were planning to go off-topic.
Did you get that idea from watching the movie Pi?
Great movie. One of my favorite bizarre films of all time. But I never thought anyone who saw it would seriously think of using a power drill to perform surgery on their own head, you know?
Pffffttt. NEWSFLASH! Not every diabetic has foot problems! Why is that the only thing y’all ever pay attention to? If folks had not been so obsessed with my perfectly healthy, non-neuropathic feet, I may have been put on an ACE inhibitor before my creatinine clearance fell to 30%. Or put on synthroid before my weight doubled.
NO ONE touches my feet anymore, as it is evidently taking up (wasting) so much of their time they don’t notice the rest of me is falling apart. Especially since, after being diabetic for over 20 years, if neuropathy was going to show up it likely would have by now.
lorinada, check your email!
You have to be a bitch about late patients in our clinic if you don’t want to get behind and be there until all hours of the night. I give them 20 minutes, or half an hour if it’s slow. If they call, I’ll usually let them come on, but I reserve the right not to.
Other things that I appreciate:
[ul]
[li]Bring all the medications that you take with you. This is particularly important if there are a lot of them. The actual bottles are best, but failing that, a list of them will do (with doses and when you take them).[/li][li]If you’re diabetic, bring the book or whatever you use to record your blood sugar. And yes, go ahead and take off your shoes and socks. (lorinada, while I agree that the foot exam is not the only important thing, it is still an important thing.)[/li][li]I am an internist, not a pediatrician. While I understand that sometimes it can’t be avoided, try to leave your children at home. For one thing, we may need to discuss sensitive issues, and the nurses don’t have time to babysit while we do. For another, it’s hard to talk when every single sentence is interrupted by “Put that down,” “Stop that,” “Get that out of your mouth,” etc.[/li][li]If you have paperwork for me to fill out, I’m more than happy to do it, but you’ll probably have to leave it with me and pick it up later. Some of that stuff takes time, and I probably don’t have it right that second. If there’s a part for you to fill out, do so before you give it to me–that often helps with my part.[/li][li]The little stool is mine. If there are more people than chairs, I’m happy to get more chairs, but leave me the stool.[/li][li]Bathing before you come to the doctor. It’s a good thing.[/li][li]I rarely make patients undress or do the gown thing when I see them, unless I’m doing a pelvic or I need to see something that’s hard to see otherwise. That said, clothing that can easily come up/down, shoes that can come off and on easily, and the like can make it far easier to do a basic exam.[/li][/ul]
I’m sure I’ll think of more.
Dr. J
IANAD, but here’s a suggestion for avoiding embarrassment:
When visiting the dermatologist to check out a single mole on your shoulder, don’t wear that cute little thong that you picked up last week. You might discover after arriving that it is their procedure to do full-body mole checks whenever possible, and then what would you do about those cute little cheeks catching the breeze? :smack:
IAAD, and must say that the style or lack of presence of undergarments never really fazed me after my first few years. Thongs, spangles, sequins, crotchless panties, never caused me to raise my eyebrow.
But ladies, please remove your wearable sex toys before the visit! Clitoral stimulators strapped to the pubics via leg garters, or even placed in a pocket inside the panty would tend to upset my staff. And the internal devices such as ben-wa balls and remote controlled vibrating eggs can give surprise to the examiner wielding the speculum.
I thank my lucky stars I never encountered a ben-wa ball with an eye painted on it.
I examine diabetic feet because this is still the leading cause of amputations. There are lots of other special things diabetics need to be examined for, but I didn’t bring the topic up.
I have almost never encounter an in situ sex toy. Almost never. But I guess sometiems you need a little Finesse ™ hair spray. And sometimes you need one of the big two inch diameter cans. And sometimes you need that where the sun don’t shine.
All those things are proper.
What are you afraid of? Is he really an “authority figure” for you, like a teacher in school? Don’t let him pull that. You hired him to do a job, just like you hire a decorator. They each have airs and opinions, but you can learn to dismiss that part and just accept the advice you find convincing.
Sig.