You would be surprised to know that this issue hasn’t even come up until recently. Because up till now, I’ve never had a doctor who wanted to examine my privates. Well, I do use the term recently loosely. Because it has been going on for a couple of years, especially since one of my doctors retired, and was essentially replaced.
Anyway, this is not a joke. I really don’t know what to say. And I do feel a lot of anxiety too.
I guess part of my confusion is what would be the best thing to say. I mean, what would the doctor expect me to say in a situation like that.
At first, I made conversation. But I tried to stay on topic about what we were already talking about, so as not to seem uncomfortable. Now I just stay totally silent. Do you think that the doctor notices this? What does he think? And I have to ask: what do you do in a situation like this?
Now again, this is not a joke. And I don’t think that it’s inappropriate too. Hey, watch the replies. I’ll bet I’m not the only person who faces this dilemma. Even if I am the only one with the nerve to ask it . (Ladies feel free to chime in too. You have to go to gynecologists and OB/GYN’s. We men don’t face that situation either.)
Keep it clean and serious please And judge not lest ye be judged
I’ve had a urologist examine my testes after a soccer injury. There was nothing to say except to respond when he asked 'Does this hurt?" when prodding or feeling something.
Trust me, he’s no more eager for conversation or awkward silence than you are.
Once a year I go to the gyno and am always like “why are we discussing [mundane topic] right now when the nasty test is about to go down?” But they always just initiate mundane conversation and it works. I suspect they do it to make me calm down, and to keep the procedure from being awkward.
I have a female general practitioner. (I’m male). The last time, she simply said, “there’s no less awkward way to say this, so I’ll have you drop your pants now.” All I had to say was “okay.” That part of the exam was over in less than a minute, I didn’t feel the need to engage in small talk. I’m certain the doctor (who does this dozens of times per week) doesn’t care whether you are chatting or quiet.
No, seriously, I’ve never had any memorable conversations with the gynecologist. But I did have a doctor’s appointment recently in which I had to show my butthole to the nurse. It was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be! But she was very personable and understanding. She said, “I have to ask you…before we do this, would you feel more comfortable with another person in the room?” I blurted, “Gawd, no!” and we laughed. She totally got it.
My female doctor worked for 3 years at a military indoctrination facility. She said she has seen the worst, the rest was rather mundane. The only comment she ever made was the first time she examined me. She said “unusual birthmark” about my right nutsack. It is a translucent purple and all the blood vessels can be seen. It is now part of my medical history under “identifying marks and tattoos”.
Don’t make chit-chat or say anything. To you this is an embarrassing, uncomfortable moment, an event which happens very infrequently to you. The doctor has done this hundreds of times. It’s not personal. You’re not the center of the doc’s universe, or even the doc’s day. Seriously.
The doctor is probably aware that most people are going to be a little uncomfortable, but just keep your thoughts to yourself. Let the doc get on with it. Don’t burden the doctor with your self-consciousness or discomfort. To the doctor is just a routine day at the office.
It’s like any other examination, unless it’s relevant to the exam I’m not saying anything. If it hurts i’ll tell them, if they ask me a question I’ll answer it, but it’s not the time to add anything extra. Before the doctor starts or after he’s done I may chat if they feel like doing so, but it rarely amounts to much these days since doctors have no spare time in their schedules for such niceties. The ones I do see over time mostly try to spend a little extra time once in a while, they know they should do that more often, so I appreciate that they try.
I guarantee your doctor does not particularly want to examine your private areas, and does so out of duty. Looking for hernias, lumps caused by blood vessels and fluid, tumours (rare) or some other conditions - depending on your age and presenting complaints. Saying nothing is fine. Make a joke if it helps you relieve the tension, but understand the doctor has heard it all before and may or may not laugh at it. Say something if you do not understand what is going on. Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is. Your doctor will have forgotten it completely ten seconds after doing the exam.
I had to go to the doctor last year, when I thought I might have an abdominal hernia (it turned out I didn’t). While doing the exam, the doctor actually did say, “Now, turn your head and cough.” I did so, and then said, “My life just became a punchline,” and he actually laughed. (Then again, I lack filters, and can’t resist a funny line.)
Why would you say anything? You pull down your pants. Answer any questions the doctor has. Do what the doctor asks you to do. Zip up and go about your business.
I wouldn’t want someone else in the room either. But I like to make sure the door is locked or that we can be sure no one is going to accidentally open the door.
A Canadian navy story: a sailor is getting checked by a female MO (medical officer) and she does the “turn your head and cough” thing. She waits, and waits, and waits, and then asks the sailor, “why aren’t your coughing?” And he replies, “if I do you’ll take your hand away.”
I had a softball injury caused by a knee to the groin during a play at home plate. My scrotum turned purple and swelled up considerably. At the ER the doctor asked if he could bring in a group of med students who were there. Of course I agreed, and four or five of them all had a good look at the situation.
. (Ladies feel free to chime in too. You have to go to gynecologists and OB/GYN’s. We men don’t face that situation either.)