There was a Harry Potter movie marathon on cable this past weekend. My fiancee and I were having a good time calling out what appear to be The Rules of their world, most of them regarding the reckless, near callous disregard of adults for the safety of children in their charge, such as:
You know that silly Muggle thing about “If you see something, say something?” They don’t have that. In fact, their rule appears to be exactly the opposite, especially if you’re an adult in a position of authority. “There’s a great danger coming [or already here]. We must warn no one!”
The more dangerous the recreational activity, the better it makes for a competition for children!
If there’s something The Enemy desires, you should hide it at the school for safe keeping. Oh, and it should be so secure, an 11 year old and his friends can break in and take it.
Large plant life that attacks anything that comes near it makes for great landscaping.
Others?
It would be a terrible thing if Dumbledore ever lost his post as headmaster of Hogwarts, because he’s the only one keeping all those kids safe from great evil. Except when he doesn’t, or can’t, which is only every school year.
We must be very careful not to let the Wizarding world be discovered by muggles, which means we should do lots of big, splashy things out in public that would be inexplicable to muggles and instantly land on page 1 of the Times.
Let’s have Dementors, evil, soulless, terrible beings, act as guards at our only prison. That will certainly encourage rehabilitation and reform for whenever prisoners are released.
What is the characteristic of the physical universe that makes a feather levitate only when the wand is swished, flicked, and the words wingardium leviosa are intoned?
Why must those words be used? What is the relationship between that gesture and the sough-after effect?
I have a theory, a Unified Potter Universe Magic Theory. But no evidence to back it up.
Were prisoners released from Azkaban during the period when the Dementors were used there? The only wizards I can think of who left Azkaban during this time escaped. It was not my impression that the reform and rehabilitation of prisoners were even secondary goals at Azkaban; it seemed to exist simply to punish criminals and keep them from causing further harm to others.
One of the MST3Ks or RiffTraxes had Mike observing that a situation was “rising to Dumbledore levels of child endangerment.”
That question vexes Harry to no end in Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. He’s able to apply scientific reasoning to some of the magical world, but not all of it.
(He’s also vehemently opposed to Azkaban, and thinks the seeker part of quidditch is ridiculous and should be eliminated.)
The most popular game in the wizarding world is great - apart from the fact that in almost every match, no one except the Seeker actually matters. At all. Hmm . . .
What’s that you say? Computers that allow humans to communicate instantly across the world, without the need of a handy fireplace? Cell phones that could have avoided the whole (spoiler) “Sirius dying because of stupid misunderstanding” in book 5? No, no, Muggles are forever inferior to wizards no matter how much more advanced they actually are, and only eccentric comic relief characters like Ron’s dad could possibly be interested in them.
Sure, have Madam Pomfrey be able to work medical magic - from shrinking teeth to turning someone’s hexed “cornflake” skin back to normal - but apparently she can’t do anything about misshapen eyes, because Harry wears glasses.
I’m pretty sure the rule for the Harry Potter Universe when it comes to medicine is that you can, at best, restore an injury to “normal” for that person’s age and genetics, but you can’t reshape or improve them to some ideal. Were that not the case, there’d be no ugly, short, fat, etc. wizards. Hogwarts would be a supermodel convention. So Harry wears glasses because that’s the normal condition for his body.
Oh, and the rule regarding technology is clearly “We cannot use technology invented during the lifetime of the oldest wizard.” After all, they’ve adopted trains and clocks. It’s just those new-fangled things like electricity and radio they’re not so clear on.
I think Dumbledore was headmaster because he was the only one who knew where every deadly thing in the castle was.
Hagrid was sent there and returned.
It is a really demented idea to guard a prison with creatures likely to kill anyone with any goodness in them and ignore everyone who is evil.
But when Harmione was cursed with long teeth she let her shrink them a little extra so they were better then before.
The thing that drives me crazy is when magic in the HP universe does things that *should *require human-level intelligence or coordination. For example, washing dishes magically, knitting magically, etc.
How does magic know how to wash the dishes? Are words equivalent to “Washia Dishes!” some kind of code that moves the universe to just do it?
What about knitting? I knit, and it’s not the easiest frickin’ thing. Is magic sentient enough that it just knows how to knit? Do you say different words to knit a sweater versus knitting a sock? What about Fair Isle? Or intarsia?
Did the founders of Hogwarts “code” all the magic spells themselves? And basically the world’s wizards and witches use magic like running “programs” on a computer?
There’s a mention in one of the books about how the Ministry of Magic banned flying carpets (which, stop being cultural oppressors!). It always made me wonder how magic worked in other countries. Are Indian wizards saying spells in Sanskrit? Are Middle Eastern wizards saying spells in ancient Arabic? If so, are some Indian wizards also using Arabic?
Wizards and Witches in the Pottiverse are just people with a disability (and, yes, it is inheritable). They cannot function in the modern world. They have no understanding of simple technology. They have little understanding of standard social situations outside a closed environment - like a school. But, rather like idiot-savants, they have exceptional skill in a particular area, that is really rather useless (except for party tricks) - magic.
Ever wonder who made the rules about ‘No mixing with the Muggle World’? It was Muggles! They don’t want wizards or witches roaming about in society with normal people, stuffing things up with magic, or invoking deadly paranormal creatures. So they have placed them in special areas where they do not come into contact with the real world, and can do little harm (except to themselves) - a school, a village, and a sheltered workshop - the Ministry of Magic.
The Muggles in charge keep this a secret, because otherwise do-gooders would be on the case demanding Wizards be able to join in regular society and encouraging them to use their ‘gifts’ - and whenever that happens, it’s been a disaster.
I seem to have forgotten that part. So… basically the rule in Potterverse is that magic healing is just a plot device, to be used when convenient to keep the story moving.
Magic and modern technology don’t mix? I seem to recall reading some type of new age crap that suggested that physic abilities work best in the absence of electricity.
Mrs. Weasley was a much more kick-ass witch than she let on, evidenced by her performance in the final battle. However, to be fair, her sweaters were pretty awful.
Minors are absolutely forbidden from practicing magic in the off-season, unless it is dramatically appropriate.
