Sadist or Masochist? You be the Judge.

The BBQ Pit
1

English professor has class of 15. English professor gives class, last Wednesday, final exam. Final exam is 15 essays, in three groups of four and one group of three.

Essays are due by 7 pm Monday night. Professor must hand in grades by Tuesday 7 pm. He will have at most 210 essays to grade after Monday at 7, because I spent four hours tonight doing them all. 5500 words. Beats my record of “words I didn’t want to write” by over 2,000.

It took me about two hours to write my out-of-class paper for this class, and an hour for him to do a “scant” job of correcting/grading it.

I did a not-too-bad job of writing this one, which is to say four hours on 15 essays. What the hell, let’s say five hours, because four doesn’t bode well for my final grade. So at that rate, it will take him two and a half hours to grade my paper, which means that unless he is awake right now grading papers, or the people who wrote BOOKS for their OOC papers do not write books this time (one woman had, I shit you not, thirty pages), he is both S&M.

15 essays and 5500 words? That’s an incredibly paltry 370 words per. In some cases it was more “thoughtful consideration” than essay. I’ve written essays four times that size. But it needed to be done, because today (Monday . . . ::whimper::slight_smile: I have work from 7 to 3:30 and shit to do after then.

I have put this project online so those of you who know how I can write when I try see how much of this was running on fumes. I make no promises for the overall quality, except that the essay on Frost is decent and the one on Prufrock, since I wrote it separately, is partly decent as well.

Since I’ve already submitted it to the professor (in two installments; it was too big to go in one email) there’s no real sense in telling me what to change, though given the dopers here I’ve corrected in the past I’m almost expecting someone to find a misplaced apostrophe and come running back, only to find me armed with pruning shears ready to . . . :slight_smile: And since I’m about || this close to falling asleep I’ve basically lost my dose of sanity for the week. Airman Doors prevented me from losing any more. Great friend to have if you’re ever in need, or if you aren’t.

So if you have any corrections, feel free to email them to IDGARA@goaway.com:wink: If you have similar stories to share, please do.

And in honor of Nocturne’s role in all this (being irresistible so I’d chat with her instead of writing my Project), I am calling my professor the following:

fuckdropping.

I know it does not have the . . . biting wit of a jarbabyjism, or the passé quality of a shitfelcher, but it is a quarter of five AM and I am still awake and will have to wake up in less than two hours. I’m sure my fellow pitizens will deal. Or not, in which case tough.

::collapses on keyboard::

2

In the class I am currently taking, our professor gives us an assignment and it is due the next day. These are all essays that are incredibly abstract. They are normally around 1400 words. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but when there are no guidelines, it is decently hard to get started. We got lucky this last assignment, and he gave us the weekend to do it. What did I do, well I just started and have to write about 800 more words. This will be due in about 4.5 hours. I like to procrastinate to the point of absurdity. I will not go to sleep. I welcome insanity with each sip of coffee that I take.

3

Punha,

I offered to write that stuff for a nominal fee. You should have taken me up on it.

As far as your sanity is concerned, I think I just kept you from smashing your computer, since we all know how nuts you are anyway. :stuck_out_tongue:

And your assessment of Nocturne is right on, IMO. :slight_smile:

When I go back to school, may I never get a professor quite so stupid as yours. I’d quit before doing anything like that. (In fact, I did the first time at college, but let’s not get into that…)

Anyway, given the circumstances, nice essays. I’ll let the other nitpickers do the grammar corrections. I don’t have a few hours to spare right now. :stuck_out_tongue:

4

For Christ’s sake, Punha, I know you’re tired, but couldn’t you have put in a link that WORKS?

[sub]I already saw most of them. He showed me while typing them.[/sub]

Now THAT’S more Pit-like!

5

5500 words? Feh! Sometimes I do that amount in my sleep!

[Peg Bundy]Sometimes I have to… sometimes I like it.[/Peg Bundy]

Seriously, Punny, you’ve got my sympathies. I remember all the last-minute thesis papers I’d have to write… I remember the paragraphs dragging by… I remember singing out praises to the SOB who invented caffeine… Damn, those were the good ol’ fuckin’ days.

6

Given what I know about your GPA, I might have been better served having my rottweiler write it.

But then again, she could probably scare the prof into giving me an A for effort:-)

“As far as your sanity is concerned, I think I just kept you from smashing your computer, since we all know how nuts you are anyway. :p”

Hehehe. I make nuts look good!

[sub]Oh Christ, that’s going to make people wonder.[/sub]

“When I go back to school, may I never get a professor quite so stupid as yours.”

See the “Stupidest things your teacher ever did” thread in imho for other things this guy’s said. I don’t remember adding it, so I’ll put this other gem forward:

“The French Revolution was the first occurrence of a push for womens’ rights.”

“Anyway, given the circumstances, nice essays. I’ll let the other nitpickers do the grammar corrections. I don’t have a few hours to spare right now. :p”

Bite me, as always, Doors:)

[sub]gratuitous reference to Doors’ nose.[/sub]

Spoofe, I promise you they would have been longer but I just flat out did not fucking care about three hours into it. To give you an idea of the burnout here, I started out writing five-paragraph essays. I ended up being happy with two decently-sized paragraphs.

My teacher evaluation sheet said, as its last line, “I only hope I never have this man as a professor again.” Res ipsa loquitur.

And just for you, Doors, here’s the link:

Go here.

One last thing. I don’t know his SDMB SN, but one doper emailed me to remind me that my name, the prof’s name, and my SSN were still on that exam. My profuse thanks to him for preventing what could have been a really bad situation. It is one of the most practical and selfless emails I have gotten in a very long time.

::tips his hat to the man::