I am at the point where I need to redirect how I feel about my own assault I’m gonna try laughing because I have been crying for more than a year.
Anyhoo I reckon that the folks here could provide a few tips. Now I know it’s not rape month but I’m sure this will be just as much fun. -fake smile-
I’ll start
never say yes to anything. Saying yes implies you want to do the nasty. Coffee? - no! Food? - no! fries with that? - NO! Do that and you will never “consent” to rape. #SafetyTipsForLadies
Since most rapes are committed by men the woman already knows, never consent to be introduced to men and avoid the ones you do.
If you’re in an elevator and a man gets on, get off the elevator and wait for the next one. If a man waits for one too, take the stairs. If a man takes the stairs too, throw yourself down the stairs to escape.
I have a migraine and I missed that the OP wanted jokes (and even told one!), then I reported Ferret Herder for being offensive. You may now all laugh at my lack of a sarcasm-dar.
Another tip: Barricade yourself in your house. If a guy gets in, you’re doing it wrong. I suggest tripwires and claymores.
A full suit of armor should protect against any guy trying to get his hands on you, plus it provides a built-in alarm if he tries to get the armor off.
Wear a burqa in public at all times to avoid asking for it, unless your rapist really likes burqas then in that case don’t wear one or you will be asking for it.
Rape is all about power. Try being really weak and the rapist might not see you. Preferably never ever lift anything, so you won’t build accidental muscle.
As a serious answer, some female friends told me that when they were at school they were told to point and laugh at flashers and the like. And to bite hard…
Hire a professional bodyguard for whenever you’re out in public. But not a man, because he’d probably be the rapist then.
Try to get a map of all of the sexual assault locations in your city; obviously those are hotbeds of crime. If one happened in your house/apartment building/workplace, you better avoid those, else you’re just asking for it.
