I recently came to realize that it would be a good thing if I had some sort of cause in my life. Something where I can selflessly give to and uplift my community, whether local, national, or global. I sat down and really thought through what things really matter to me. Abolishing the death penalty, cleaning up the oceans, and ending street violence are all things that I care about, but if I had to pick just one thing, it would be legalizing same-sex marriage.
Since it’s already legal in this state, I should concentrate on another one or work at it on the national level.
What can I do that’s more than writing a check every month?
Get Canadians to come down and vouch that civilization hasn’t collapsed there yet?
Seriously, I somrtime think of this as the kind of social change best sped by local action while the high-profile court cases take place. What you need is ordinary people saying to each other over their beer, "Why do we even officially care about this? Let people marry who they want, consenting adults and all… " and framing it as an unjust intrusion of the State into private lives.
I agree that the best way to change laws is to change attitudes. The thing is, I don’t really know anyone who’s against SSM personally. I tend to surround myself with fairly liberal people.
My own belief is that in 10 or 20 years, this will be a non-issue. I just wonder if there’s some way I can shorten the time a little.
Perhaps you could volunteer in a gay organization. You have computers skills, maybe they could use that.
When it comes to legalizing gay marriage all over the country, it will really come down to a decision by the supreme court. Unless you plan to become one of the top constitutional lawyers real fast, I’m afraid signing checks is it.
The general population’s attitudes towards gays will have little effect on whether or not gay marriage is legal, unless a significant portion of the population is willing to fight a civil war over it. A constitutional amendment is possible but only theoretically. It requires quite a strong agreement accross legislative bodies and States and that isn’t going to happen. The legal status of gay marriage throughout the US really all comes down to the SCOTUS.
But the absence of gay marriage isn’t the only way gays suffer from bigotry. Perhaps you can help change attitudes not about the legal status of gay marriage but about gays generally. Plenty of work to do there and it’s not the preserve of blood sucking lawyers.
Any work you do for gays will help you with women anyway : )
You could also try to take down the opposition from the inside. Volunteer at an anti-gay marriage organization, but be as incompetent and unpleasant as possible. Nothing overtly destructive, just be that guy that makes people want to stop showing up so they don’t have to deal with you.
One toxic individual can do far more damage to an organization than a pleasant advocate working on the other side.
Writing a check every month does very little in terms of shifting people’s hearts. The first question is is your wanting SSM in the spirit of love, or something else, It’s a tough question that may require time and soul searching.
But instead of blindly writing a check use that money to travel to the places where you can personally get involved. Don’t leave it for someone else to do, do it yourself and have a great time at it. Perhaps attend a rally, a SSM wedding ceremony, talk to ministers and the like who perform it, perhaps get involved with legislation.
You may think that writing a check can be more efficient, but if you have the heart for it you can make a great difference in being there and sharing your heart. You will learn a lot this way, much more then how to fill out a check and read reports that others have written who want you to fill out more checks. Find out for yourself personally.
Rather than taking on the entire US at once, I’d be satisfied by the whole country falling by one state at a time. I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s eventually going to happen. My money is on Rhode Island going next, and they are conveniently nearby.
Volunteer work for them seems like a good idea.
OR I could take Giraffe’s idea and become the cancer in some anti-gay organization. That sounds like more fun.
You could take your computer skills and volunteer to help out poor little ol’ me here in Tennessee improve the website for our local chapter of PFLAG.
That way you could volunteer in a state that will be one of the last to ever legalize SSM by helping out one of the few beacons of hope we have in these parts.
That’s an excellent point, but one I think I’ve already answered. If I’m successful, I won’t get a direct benefit, at least not like I would if I made cleaner oceans my cause. After some honest soul-searching, I’ve found that it’s a real passion for me.
I’ve given up hope that folks here will use the Location option, but it would be great if people giving only tantalizing clues (“already legal” and “Rhode Island… nearby”) would at least mention their location (particular U.S. State in this case) or place a footnote at the bottom of their post.
Sigh.
(ISTR that it is legal in Mass., so that would be my guess, but I’m not inclined to look it up.)
Engage with people you know who don’t want SSM. Immerse yourself in the arguments of the anti-SSM crowd and genuinely understand how people arrived at their beliefs and then counter their arguments. While the foundation of these arguments needs to be based in logic and fact, remember that people are emotional creatures logic alone will be increasingly deficient with the holdouts.
I was surprised that my hairstylist in Venice, CA, who was this free-spirit tattooed chick who dated a guy in a rock band was against SSM because she identified as a Christian. Given that she had a scissors in her hand, I was careful to keep my tone respectful and found that that discipline was helpful. I was able to basically let her talk about what she believed — and, having done quite a bit of research on the subject — I was able to counter with a “question” that called attention to the fallacy in her argument. For instance, Her: “Leviticus says it’s an abomination.” Me: “That’s true. So what’s your take on Leviticus saying eating shrimp and lobster is also an abomination; I mean, would you support a law saying people can’t eat shellfish?” I don’t know that I changed her mind then and there, but I planted a seed.
