I want to place my order for a CrankyPants PartyPooper shirt!
Shirley Ujest writes:
> Manny years ago ( like 10, at least) I had a stat that I
> clipped from the newspaper that stated the odds of your
> child being kidnapped and a host of other parental
> nightmares (like razors in Halloween candy stuff). The
> odds were so low it really blew my mind. Naturally, I
> cannot locate this article, and I am sure it is out of
> date due to the nutjobs out there.
If I recall the numbers right, there are slightly fewer children abducted by strangers each year in the U.S. than there are people killed by lightning in the U.S. That is, there are slightly less than 100 children abducted by strangers and slightly more than 100 people killed by lightning. No, there are no more nutjobs today than there have ever been.
I’m also inclined to believe it’s UL, but I do appreciate some of the security measures stores are taking these days. I was getting ready to leave the mall a few weeks ago when suddenly the exit doors locked. I knew it was a case of a missing child, because it had happened once before. Two ladies were complaining loudly about the inconvenience, but I love it. Even better is Chuck E Cheese, where they stamp everyone’s hand with a number. Everyone in the same group gets the same number, and a child will not be let out the door without an adult who’s number matches. That’s the one place I can let my kid run loose.
Yeah, it’s a UL.
However…
Wal~Mart stores do have a CODE: ADAM that they use whenever a child’s lost. All the doors are locked and guarded, and nobody is allowed in or out.
Since Sam’s Clubs are affiliated with Wal~Mart, I wonder if they have the same type of security arrangement?
-David
“Big book of urban legends” is a classic. All of the greats in one place, and in easy-to-read comic book form.
Yeah, Shirley’s Sam’s Club one, with the half-shaved head, has been making the rounds lately.
But whenever my kids run off in the store I tell them about Adam Walsh and Henry Lucas. Yeah, Lucas didn’t do it but he claimed to and makes such a good bogeyman.
And I saw Snopes’ “Mr Ed Was a Zebra” plant on the front page of the Globe or Sun or something. Some people will believe anything.
We should start a new UL ourselves and see how it spreads.
I recently told a coworker I had gone to Taco Bell for lunch, and she said, “Oh, I don’t go there anymore since I heard the story about…” I cut her off right there with, “It’s not true.” She then insisted that I had to hear the story first, and proceeded to tell me (of course, she got this story via email) about a woman who ate at T.B. and the next day spiders started hatching out of her mouth. Uh, yeah. I directed her to Snopes, feeling it my duty as a devotee of Cecil to at least attempt to combat this sort of thing. Sigh.
I’ve actually got my MOM directing people to Snopes whenever the churchgroup or bowling team ladies start believing some unimaginable bullshit. She sets 'em straight.
–Tim
A local DJ was discussing this UL today. I missed part of what she said but she did mention that there was no such thing as an ADAM code, nor are stores allowed to lock people inside.
Snopes disagrees with your DJ. And the people at the Hobby Lobby seem to think they have a Code Adam.
[flight to Tahiti]
Can’t we come up with a better name for ULs than UL? It’s such a blah description - “urban legend” - for such very exciting little stories. In my family, we call them Vanishing Hitchhikers, in honor of the first Brunevand book I picked up - and where I read versions of every single scary story I had heard as a kid.
[/hijack]
Shirley - never forget, there are those of us who like crankypants party poopers.
But are they allowed to lock the doors? That link only says that the doors are monitored, and until the POLICE arrive, no futher steps are taken to keep people in.
Michi, you’re right - they don’t say they lock the doors. I imagine locking the doors would be against the fire codes, for one thing. I was only taking exception to the DJ’s claim that Code Adam did not exist.
Wow. Fellow Cranky pants party poopers of the world unite and debunk! I am not alone! I suppose if everyone were like US, then conversations would be pretty boring.
“Here the one about some guy waking up in a bathtub full of ice and seeing a " Call 911” on the mirror?"
“Been there done that…”
“What about the yeti with a hook for a hand who escaped from the nearby maximum security jail for the criminally insane that was murdering all the campers who didn’t eat their burnt marshmellows.”
“Been there done that…”
“Oh…Hmmm…I know! What about the pregnant woman who was in a herd of elephants as they stampeded and it scared her so much she ended up giving birth to the Elephant Man.”
“Blah blah blah.”
Thinking hard for a conversation. "Hmmm… how about the weather? "
" Can’t be trusted either."
Naw, I find it hard to see what can be helpful about knowing of a women who sprayed sparkles on her public hair before her visit to the OB/GYN, how not to wake up in a bathtub full of ice, or why you should pull over when the car behind you keeps flashing bright lights.
I have a strong suspicion that there would be health inspectors even if we didn’t have yucky little hatching bug egg stories. I am sure most parents would be just as protective of their children without Sam’s Club stories, and I really doubt that anyone who has gotten drunk and willing to partake in a one night stand was more concerned of losing a kidney as opposed to contracting a disease.
Sorry, I really do not see how UL help warnings stick into our memories when these warnings have no legitimate basis.
I will concede that they have a few purposes:
They are great fodder for those who have a strange need to be rescuer of us all. These are usually the people who forward these untrue warnings to everyone they can possible think of. No matter how unbelievable the story, they need to appear as if they know some horrible truth and that they must do everything possible to save us from it’s fate.
UL are used to discredit companies. My guess it that some of the UL such as the Taco Bell story are started by the competition, disgruntled employees, or anyone else with a gripe. On the other hand, I think some are started just because it has all the great elements of an UL. Food, disgusting bugs, and the complete lack of control we have when someone else prepares our food. This makes us vulnerable and the UL more powerful.
Another purpose of UL is just the shear annoyance to me and the rest of the crankypants party pooper brigade. Speaking of this, do these people who forward UL become insulted and irritated when you attempt to set them straight? My little group of the vulnerable (thank God it is shrinking) sure does.
WTF? I think they like being gulible.
Oh I’ve heard the OP story for years. Slight variation, the head wasn’t shaved but dyed a different color and it was a grocery store. Other than that it’s the same story.
A true story about a missing child in the grocery store:
My aunt went to the grocery store with her infant daughter. My aunt said she stooped over to pick up something from the bottom shelf and when she turned around her daughter was missing.
It turns out that my aunt’s older daughter was also in the grocery store doing her shopping. She saw her mom and thought she’d seen her too. She had walked around the corner aisle to show her baby sister to whoever she was with not realizing that her mother had never seen her. My aunt was hysterical because thought somebody had kidnapped her daughter. (Perhaps she had seen the U.L. also)
I hope parents are taking care of their children even without these Urban Legends being passed around. If they aren’t, that’s as scary as the legend itself.
Well, I’ve found being a crankpants party pooper to be a lot of fun. It doesn’t work as well in this Age of E-Mail, but when people tell you a story in person it’s great to ruin the ending for them.
Gullible Fool: Did you hear about Connie’s sister-in-law? She went to buy a plant at Ikea…
Smartass Me: And the police told her to get out of the house NOW!!! and a million spiders came out of the plant.
Another Idiot: This lady in my sewing circle was doing laundry one day…
Me Again: And the meter reader said “I hope your team wins, lady!”
Try it at your next party: you’ll have fun, even if nobody else does.
Most large stores (I’ve worked for several different chains) have an employee code word for lost / possibly abducted children.
usually the code word is a name. Sara and Adam are popular… but there are others
If you check employee handbooks for such stores the usual procedure is for ALL employees on the floor to call the desk for a description of the child. And look for said child…
Management will typically man exits (no… they can’t lock people in) and ask that no one leave until the problem has been resolved or the police arrive.
I’ve actually had this happen while I was working. In all of the cases I was involved with , the child in question was found quickly, with no problems (i.e. the kid had just wandered off… and mom/dad couldn’t find them)
I actually find it comforting to know that large stores are prepared to deal with problems like this quickly.
-Pandora
We have a code pink where I work. (a hospital) Its the same as a code Adam, but be block the doors with our bodies. We can lock people inside.
A couple days ago, I got the email about the guy who sent the letter of protest about homosexuality on “The Practice” to ABC and got a rude response. The email failed to mention that the person who answered the letter (email) wasn’t the person who was supposed to answer and it also failed to mention that the man was sent a letter of apology. Well, I figured I’d better set this guy straight (the guy who sent me it), so I emailed him with a summary of snopes’ discussion of the incident, and also the link. I then noticed the header. It contained a LARGE number of email addresses in the path, so I figured, hey, gotta fight ignorance whenever possible, right? So I emailed all of them, too (probably about 50). No one has replied. I’m sort of suprised. Anyway. . .
End of Hijack.
Nope. Not helpful at all. On the other hand, I see no harm in spreading such stories, as long as it’s clearly understood that these are folklore and not something that really happened.
Well, in my case, I started being the CP³ when I became the small computer security NCO at my shop a few years ago. It must be the way you present the facts to the folks who send you these IMPORTANT MESSAGES. I have invariably encountered a reaction along the lines of “Oh, really? Neat!”
Now I’m a civilian, I still get the occasional UL in my email, but usually, it’s accompanied by the question “This sounds bogus. Where can I find proof it’s an UL?” My cousins (I have a multitude – we Dunehews are a prolific lot ;)) are (mostly) able to debunk these things themselves, and if they forward one to me, it’s because they are forwarding only that one copy to enlist my aid in debunking (or confirming, in a very few rare cases) the rumor they can’t find any info about.
Fighting ignorance is a thankless job, but it’s fun. It’s like carrying out the garbage – if you don’t keep at it, things tend to pile up.
~~Baloo
My responses to these types of e-mail have been short, sweet, and to the point.
“Not true - urban legend.” Then I include a link to snopes.
Some of the responses I have received include “I received this from my aunt, are you implying that she is lying?” “I saw this on the news, so I think I will still believe it.” “Are you saying that something like this has never happened since the begining of man?” (Well, no I am not saying that, I just want to see proof, something that no one has yet to offer.)
As I said, I think it makes life more interesting for some people when they are gulible.