Santa hates us all: December mini-rants

The BBQ Pit
221

I’m so sorry. Corgis are such sweet dogs, I know you will miss him greatly. 2021 has sucked mightily hopefully next year will be better.

Being retired, I forgot that today was Christmas eve eve, so made the stoopid mistake of stepping foot into a grocery store. Grocery shopping isn’t a social event folks, you don’t need to bring the whole family. And stop fucking blocking the aisles chatting with people you haven’t seen for a few hours/days and let the rest of us get what we want and GTFO. That goes double for the cashiers.

I only needed one thing, couldn’t find the one thing, didn’t feel like trying to find a worker to learn that they were indeed out of the one thing I wanted so I left and found a goddamned cat running around the parking lot begging to be picked up. We don’t need another cat, we don’t need the expense of vetting an unknown cat and I didn’t have a carrier in the car.

The fucking thing chewed through the cardboard box I stuffed her into and almost got us killed by crawling under my feet at a traffic light.

We locked her up in the hobby room with all the necessaries and learned an hour later that her shit not only stinks, it STINKS!

Happily, she went on the next step of her journey to a forever home an hour ago and our cats have settled down but it was a sucky day.

222

I hate fucking banks and their fucking incompetence. A little while ago I sent my son a fairly significant sum of money via e-transfer as a special “Merry Christmas”. I’ve done this a lot, and usually I get an email notification almost immediately that it’s been sent, and another one that it’s been automatically deposited. Thanks to the wonders of technology, it takes mere seconds. This time – nothing. Nada. Waited half an hour. Nothing. But of course the money has disappeared from my account. Neither of us has it. It’s somewhere in the ether, or in some other dimension.

Finally, after taking much, much longer than it should have, and me getting all antsy about it, I got a notification that it was auto-deposited in his account. But STILL no message from my own bank that it had been sent. Incompetent fuckers. But at least I know he has it now.

223

It is Christmas Eve. The local grocery store has just put up a display of Valentine candy.

Nothing says “I love you” like a box of two-month-old stale candy. Ah, romance. :revolving_hearts:

224

You mean that’s not a “you’re dumped” box?
( or is that a bag of fun-sized candy with playful bats and vampires on the wrappers? )

225

My husband brought home a frozen Banquet “Mega Pizza Double Stuffed Four Meat” thing. It was, by far, the foulest thing we’ve ever tasted. The only recognizable parts of it were the burnt edges. I’m returning it to the store and begging them to remove this shit from their shelves.

226

I knew a woman who’d buy up all the Valentine’s Day candy right after the holiday when it was marked way down. She loaded it all in her freezer and gave it out the following year.

227

A lot of chocolate will bloom (develop whitish spots on the surface, basically) if you keep it at either too cold or too hot a temperature. It’s just some of the cocoa fat coming to the surface and has no effect on the flavor, but it makes it look like the candy has some sort of powdery/rashy disease. Not the image you want your loved one to have about your gift!

The reason I know this is that the grocery store a friend clerked at got a delivery of valentine’s candy that had for some reason gotten delayed in transit and was frozen (or at least held at too cold a temperature) and as a result VERY irate customers were coming back in with ‘LEPROSY HEARTS.’

228
  • Taylor Swift song name!
229

I’m my experience, Banquet makes the worst frozen food. The Salisbury steak, for example, comes in a “gravy” that’s basically just a pool of oil. Their food is borderline inedible.

230

True, but I used to Love their Mexican one with tamales, rice and refried beans. Can’t find it anywhere. I joke that there’s a Committee that tries to find what I like and discontinue it.

231

I was just going to pop in to say that the Banquet Mexican thing is the only edible item in their entire product line……if it hasn’t been discontinued.

Considering that frozen pizzas pretty much universally suck*, I can’t fathom how BAD a Banquet brand one would be.

I’m not a frozen food snob, I eat a lot of them. If you are missing the Banquet Mexican, try some of the Amy’s Organic Mexican style meals. They’re pretty good and you won’t miss the meat.

*Stouffers French Bread Pizzas don’t suck, mostly because they found a workaround for the crust, which is the reason frozen pizza sucks.

232

I agree about french bread pizzas but prefer the Red Baron ones as they have pretty decent pepperoni and I like their sauce (which they have a good amount of).

As for Banquet I used to eat their fish sticks, back when I was broke and they were a cheap source of protein; have no idea if they still make those.

233

2021 was rough, but FRACKING DECEMBER TAKES THE FRACKING CAKE!!

It actually started in October when we (hubby & I, no kids) had to replace our heating system (propane) . First we had to wait nearly 2 months due to supply shortages , then had to wait another week because repair guy broke his hand. 2 months of space heaters got old fast (The heater was replaced the first week of December)

Also, my supervisor needed surgery, and the employee she hired to help out was clueless and thus, let go. . . so lots of early day shifst for me! yay! (I’m usually 2nd shift-ish noon to 8pm) I also had to reschedule a once monthly cleaning gig (for extra$$$) for this, no biggie, just aggravating.
.
Right after our new heater is installed my car dies!! (of FREAKIN’ course I just payed the MOFO off!!) It turns out to be a transmission issue (Ford Focus. . . yep the one with the lousy transmission that Ford KNOWINGLY sold! F***ers!! ) This falls under their warrantee, or whatever it’s called when they have no choice but to own up and fix the issue. . . HOWEVER, there is an INDEFINITE backorder for these parts, so my car is out of service for possibly SEVERAL FRACKING MONTHS!!! FFS!

So now I have the exquisite joy of cab rides $30.00 per day!!! ( including tips; I’m poor, not heartless, lol!) How the FRACK can I save for a new car while shelling out cab fare??? I do get rides from colleagues, but I don’t want to be a burden - (of course, the co worker who lives nearest to me has been on vacation till the end of the month-sigh- another fickle finger-jab of fate) Oh yes, and that once a month cleaning job? kinda need a car for that, as cab fare would just eat what I earn there. again - giant sigh!

And to top off this TURD SUNDAE of a December, I slipped on my ice steps and possibly broke my hand! I have full motion-ish but it’s swollen and bruised as FRACK. Guessing by the amount of pain, it’s most likely fractured. . .but despite being employed and having insurance, I can’t afford to get this looked at!! Also, it’s Christmas and Covid and I’m not going near a clinic/hospital/doctor unless I’m unconscious and have no choice in the matter.

I do have family helping me. . . which is great!!! And all in all, I love my job. But I’m getting so so soooo tired of living by a fraying shoestring, where one stupid setback can put us in the actual street!!

BTW, can you tell I live in America?
Thanks for reading. . I just needed to vent

234

A few years ago, my daughter’s Prius underwent spontaneous catastrophic failure of the instrument panel. There was a several-weeks backlog of the necessary replacement part (which I DID have to pay for), and the dealership arranged a rental car for her for the duration — at the dealership’s expense.

So, such things happen in the real world. Perhaps you can explore whether there’s a way to make it happen for you.

Speaking of my daughter, she’s living in Brooklyn with a friend from community college while she finishes her BFA in Manhattan. Her roommate (let’s call him Cisco) stood in line for COVID testing for three hours last week. He had the sniffles at the time, and no tissues, so he’d pull his mask down, wipe his nose, and put the mask back several times as he inched his way forward. Apparently, a lot of his fellow standees were doing the same thing. Then he got to the part where he filled out paperwork with a pen provided by the clinic. As did his fellow standees. Front of the line, takes a PCR AND a rapid test, which both come back negative, and he goes home.

So, Christmas morning, one of his presents is a kit with six at-home tests, and he uses one on himself.

BOOM! Positive! Merry Christmas! You’ll never guess what Santa brought you! That’s right, the Plague!

So now he and Michaela have to go get tested tomorrow and pray that it’s a false positive. Another factor that makes this rant-worthy is that Kayla has a two-week visit to California scheduled for January 6. So that’s unlikely to happen. And I’m planning to vacate my apartment in Anaheim to live with my fiancée in Huntington Beach during February.

FML

235

What is it about holidays and my oven? About a decade or so ago, it completely died on Thanksgiving, leaving me to do the entire meal using a toaster oven.

Today the oven decided it was going to go to 245 degrees, and sit there. Which is not enough to cook a spinach souffle. Toaster oven to the rescue again.

This is also the third appliance that’s decided to take a vacation in a month. Dishwasher is due to be replaced in 4 days. The outside sensor on our gaspack is also on the fritz and that will have to wait until Monday to just make a call about it. Good thing it’s unusually warm right now.

In the meantime the sink full of dishes from tonight’s meal isn’t going to wash itself. Blech.

236

My toilet went nuts and flooded my bathroom. Maintenance is busy dealing with another building that a drunk person drove into, so it took them a little while to get here. The water is off now, but I’m concerned about the toilet situation for tonight. I do not have a plan for being toiletless.

237

We were so pumped up for our Xmas plan this evening - Spider-Man tickets purchased a few weeks ago. At this theater, all tickets are purchased online ahead of time / seats selected. I checked the theater seating map not long before we left, felt okay with the amount of people at that showing.

Got there, things were okay. As we watched previews, more and more and more and more people came in. Noisy, maskless, chomping popcorn, swigging soda, shoulder to shoulder. Then the dude behind me coughed.

And I had a panic attack.

I feel so dumb, and I feel like I disappointed the kids. My daughter ended up grabbing me and making us leave.

238

Cut the top off of the largest bottle/jug in your recycling and fold duct tape around the top to cover the sharp edges. Use another one for pee.

Take two kitchen garbage bags and double bag a waste paper basket.

Try to just dump the pee outdoors if you can. The poop? That goes into the double bagged basket. Keep that and your impromptu squat-over bucket in the toilet room with the door closed. If you fill it even 1/3 of the way, tie it off and dispose of it in your cans, making sure to double bag the basket again in case you need to go again.

Ask Maintenance to call before coming and move all those ‘tools’ out of that room so they can work. ( Hey, its that or hope you can hold it until you can get to a gas station )

239

Or knock on your neighbor’s door and ask if you can use their toilet.

240

Or that…