Wow, very scary, though! So glad to hear that all is well. She’s got extra immunity now! 
Is the dog going indoors because you prefer to handle its elimination that way or because you’re having trouble with house training?
I’ve house-trained many dogs. IME, a week of strict crate training is all it takes. The dog is in its small crate any time it isn’t directly supervised. When taking it out of the crate you take the dog outdoors to a specific area and urge it to eliminate (I say, “go pee”) then reward it.
Outdoor elimination is a simple “trick” that takes a week or less to teach.
House training issues, at least I think so… I think it’s more that my wife handles the dog (theoretically) since it’s “her dog” and she has some kind of “plan” but she hasn’t gotten around to that part of it. Our dog is trained that when she wants to go outside she rings a bell and she’s good at that, and sometimes she uses the bathroom outside. But as often as not my wife doesn’t want our dog to go outside when it’s wet and we live in Western Washington. Or cold, or dark. So even if she was properly trained I’m not sure how well that would work.
For background. my wife’s parents live with 3 dogs and their house is pretty nasty. So I think that’s the environment she’s from and she’s comfortable with it. Me, not so much. I like to visit the zoo, not live in one.
It does really irritate me. I don’t like living in a house smelling like urine and with shit-stained carpets. It’s definitely not what I signed up for.
That’s sad. A dog should bring joy to a household.
Maybe discuss with your wife the concept of crate training. Our newest household member never eliminated in our home. I considered her “crate trained” after a week, but we continued her training beyond that.
Your home, like a dog’s crate, should be somewhere you are comfortable, happy, secure, etc.
That’s a problem, especially since I always start off crate training by taking the dog out on a leash, so that the reward can be immediate. My dog might not like going out in wet/cold weather, but I’m out there as well.
I love the dog, even though she’s my wife’s dog officially she adopted me as her best friend. She always wants to play with me and she’s not happy unless I’m the one who puts her to bed at night (she sleeps in her cage, it’s her “safe space” so goes to for sleep and when she wants alone time). Even my wife says I’m the dog’s favorite. Though she does see my wife as her “protector”. She comes to me when she wants to play and have fun, she goes to my wife when she’s scared. It’s just the mess that I don’t care for.
I am a dog person, I always had dogs growing up. I’m used to it. And dogs seem to really like me too.
But I never had this situation where the house is the dog’s toilet.
Our solution has always been have a dog door that leads to a fenced yard. That of course won’t work for everyone.
I seem to recall it took quite a bit longer than that with Bernie, who was very bright, but then again, he was just a puppy at the time.
I remember the happy day when I was comfortable that he was fully house trained, and started disassembling the crate while he was still in it. As soon as the top came off, Bernie joyously leaped right out of it.
Another memory from back in the day: shortly after this event, I removed the child gate that had been blocking access to the living/dining area. Bernie went in to check things out (still a puppy at the time, remember). The living room had a lovely thick green area rug. Bernie walked over to it, and obviously thought to himself, “I’m a good boy. I’ve learned that I should always do my business on the grass.” Whereupon he lifted one leg, and let go on our very expensive thick area rug, using the leg of the coffee table as a sort of impromptu fire hydrant. 
He did, in fact, become properly house trained after Lesson #2: On the difference between a thick carpet and a plot of grass.
Perhaps so, but man oh man, anybody with a pulse and a brain would take it as hard as you do, as would I. 4 hours a year of that would shorten my life span, I think.
I know it’s “family” and all that, but why is going to their place the default Christmas visit? I would think it drives your wife nuts as well.
We have coyotes and raptors out here which makes it risky to let a small dog out into a fenced yard by itself. A friend got around it by building a chain-link covered enclosure next to his house and putting a dog door in. He has a human sized door into the enclosure (from the outside) so he can go in and clean. Now their dog can go out and do her business whenever she wants and he doesn’t have to put shoes on. Is something like that a possibility for your wife’s dog?
That’s not a bad idea. My concern with a dog door is that there are animals around like coyotes and raccoons and we don’t want any critters to get in. If it was possible to set up an enclosure that can prevent those creatures from getting in. that’s not a bad idea at all.
I still have the issue that my wife doesn’t want the dog to be able to go outside every time she wants, but I think that’s a reality she’ll need to accept at some point. I’m not going to be pushy about it though because I know after almost a decade with her that it’s the wrong approach. 
When we rented a house in South Dakota we had a very territorial next-door neighbor (right after we moved in, he informed me that a perennial border on our side of the fence was really his property and that he’d be climbing over the fence to tend it. Sorry, bub, no dice.). One time when it snowed I shoveled the sidewalk in front of our house and deliberately extended the cleared area about a foot over the property line onto his side, because I knew it would piss him off. Which it did.
I didn’t explain very clearly, I’m sorry. The coyote proof enclosure is against the house, like if he had added a room with chicken wire sides. The only critter who can go in and out the doggy door is their dog.
We’ve had catios since before they were a thing. Insects can be a bother at times, they crawl through the sides of the door for light or water but they are the only home invaders we’ve had in over 30 years.
Idk the size of the dog, but I have a cat door that only opens when it scans the chip in my cat’s neck.
Now that is awesome. Our dog is small, not much more than 10 lbs, about as big as a large cat. I like that idea.
At only 13 lbs, George is currently a rather small example of his breed. We fully expect our Covid Cat to be around 20 lbs, so sorry for laughing at your wording.
Your dog is about the size of my friend’s dog and she is very content with her 8ft x 8ft x 8ft covered “dogio”.
There is a continuous shared lawn between my house and the one next door. When new neighbours moved in next door a few years ago they dispatched some young grandkid or some such thing to mow the lawn. The kid was confused about where the property line was and left a large swath of lawn unmowed that actually belonged to them. I later pointed this out to the kid, and the grandparents came out to see what the discussion was about, so the location of the property line was clarified for all.
That’s not my story. My story, which I was reminded of by yours, is that ever since then, everyone who has mowed their lawn has also done mine, all the way to the edge of my driveway. At first it pissed me off as a matter of principle (what if I wanted to raise goats?) but I decided it was silly to be pissed off. I’m not the most fastidious about taking care of my lawn, and this way the entirety of that section of the front lawn has a pleasing uniform appearance. And less work for me. He now has a riding mower which he seems to enjoy, so let him have his fun! 
“I want to start this off by thanking you all from the bottom of my heart,” Wilson wrote. “These last three years have been unforgettable and becoming a Buckeye has been the single greatest decision of my life. I would like to thank my teammates, trainers, and our entire coaching staff – Coach Hartline, Coach Day, Coach Mick, and Coach Nico, thank you. I wouldn’t be in this situation without each and every one of you.
But it’s all about me now, so fuck you.
Santa, Christmas… The Pit?
This has to be the place. From Kimmel, Karens Sing Christmas Songs:
Because when you go to someone else’s house, you can leave. If you host, you have to figure out how to kick them out without overly annoying your spouse.