Save your relationship before it goes in the toilet

In refusing to choose, you have chosen.

Welcome to the Behind-the-Roll Bandwagon!

blink

People actually just wad up toilet paper and wipe? Just like that? How do you do a second pass with the same paper?

And more to the point, what kind of barbarians are you?

A second pass with the same paper? You are a model of efficiency. I have learned something today, my friend.

I never feel as needed as a wife and Mother as when I replacing the toilet paper roll, as all of the male members of my family are too afraid of modern technology to learn how to do it themselves. So it goes on like I like it, like everyone should like it, OVER, the paper spinning up and out, happily throwing itself towards my hands, eager to be of use.

You fold half the wad over and wipe with the clean part. The first (dirty) part is now safely ensconced in the middle of the wad. How do you do a second pass with folded paper?

How have I chosen one or the other when my choice averages out to 50-50?

You are all ignorant baboons!

Toilet paper… HAH! Up here in Canada, we use pine cones…

grin
FML
PS we only brush our teeth for the twice yearly meeting with Queen Elizabeth (on her dental hygene inspection)

Unless you have a bright feline like ours who can figure out how to unroll the toilet paper no matter which way you hang it. First cat I have ever had that understood physics.

Chalk me up as another who just sits it wherever he can reach.

Side of the tub? Been there. On the sink? Been there. On the back of the toilet? Been there. In the cabinet beside the toilet? In there too. Every once in awhile I’ll stick it on the roll. Even then, I don’t care what way it’s hung.

As long as there’s actually toilet paper, or better yet wet wipes, in the room, I don’t care.

Toilet paper? I use the cat.

under? UNDER? heretic.

It’s over all the way, baby.

See post #53. Welcome to the team!

A comedian I used to perform with used to have a great line: “I don’t get the guys who go into the store and buy just one roll! Are you trying to quit?”

Just to add to the intrigue:

How does a blind person know they are done wiping?

Really? Is it an intelligence test for cats? I never understood why some people think one way or the other is immune to catattack - if it’s under, they swipe at the dangly bit, hook a claw and pull. Spinning ensues. If it’s over, they bat at the roll part, and same thing.

By the feel, I assume. No, not directly - although if you wash your hands thoroughly, that would work, too. But can’t you tell from the friction on the paper (or lack thereof) that you’re done?

I found that if you say ‘NO’ in a loud stern voice enough times they eventually quit anyways.
Granted the youngest will still attack a roll of tissue if left out on its own in another room and nobody’s watching but she certainly quit attacking and unraveling the bathroom roll entirely.

For those who feel really strongly about this, here’s some advice:

Next time you are sitting on the toilet, turn the roll, and can’t find the end of the paper, there are really two completely different options:

  1. Continue turning in the same direction, until you see the end of the paper droop off either the front or the back, or

  2. Stop turning. Reverse turn direction. Continue turning until the end of the roll is in sight.

Amazingly, knowing just these two simple rules will ensure that you will always be able to figure out how to get a square of paper off of a roll of paper. It’s like magic or something.

Can I getta AMEN to that, my brothers and sisters!

If I can help it, there is never less than half a dozen toilet rolls in our house. I buy them in packs of nine, and I try to buy at least once a week if not then at the least once a fortnight. Hubby laughed at me when I had four packs of toilet paper lying around (36 rolls). So I stopped buying it. Who was laughing when there was no toilet paper left in the house then, huh. HUH?!

For the record - our TP goes on whatever way around. I can’t be bothered checking. That’s if it goes on. Sometimes the empty roll is left on the spindle, and the new roll perched on top.

Moist wipes sit on the windowsill behind the cistern.

Seat is either up or down. If hubby leaves it up, I put it down but I don’t care enough to yell at him for it.

Lid remains up.

Shoes come off the feet wherever, but get kicked against a wall or under a table so they’re kindof out of the way. Hubby leaves his in the middle of the loungeroom.

Silverware gets broken down into basic categories. Large knives/utensils, bread & butter knives, forks (only have one type of fork, no salad or cake forks in this house), soup/dessert spoons and then teaspoons.

I’m a scruncher. Dunno about hubby. Never asked. But we both pee with the door open.

My mother was the only person I’ve known who just put the roll in, whichever way it was facing. I’m an over-the-top person, so whenever she put a new roll in, there was a 50% chance that I’d have to change it. I don’t think she ever noticed.

She also was the only person I’ve known who squeezed the toothpaste tube from the front (where the opening is). Don’t ask.

I just wish to Jeebus that I wasn’t the only annointed person in the house certified to replace the toilet paper when it’s empty. And then it only goes on the little stand for books and papers since these barbarians around here can’t figure out how to use the roll holder. Hep me…