Oh, goddammit. Another zombie thread? Sigh.
I probably wouldn’t be interested in developing a relationship based on the fact that we were related. My parents are dead. I don’t talk to my brothers (they are addicts with mental health problems). I’m relatively close to my sister. I’ve spent years dealing with family issues and have finally accepted the situation and am content with it. I don’t want any additional people to upset the balance. I do not believe that blood is thicker than water, or that you have to love someone because they are family.
I would be interested in developing a relationship if I liked the person. Not just because we were related.
If I met a sibling I didn’t know existed it would confirm my suspicion that there was a mix-up at the hospital when I was born.
One of my sons is adopted, and we know that there is the possibility of him having half-siblings that we are unaware of. We know of half-siblings born to his bio mother, however the identity of his biological father is unclear, and the evidence indicates he has several more half-sibs out there somewhere.
I know for sure that I have at least one sibling out there. If he or she is still alive, he or she would have been born out of wedlock in or around Chicago sometime in the first quarter of 1947 (probably in March). The mother’s name was, IIRC, Patty. I would be VERY interested in getting to know him/her, just to satisfy my curiosity if nothing else.
Back in the '80s, I was shocked to learn there was someone else about my age with my name (it’s not a common one) living in the Twin Cities. I called him one day to ask if he knew both his parents, etc., etc., but it didn’t sound as though we were somehow related (though I wonder about it to this day).
My own daughter, BTW, has a half-sister 15 years her senior who chooses not to communicate with us any more. This is incredibly sad because they have SO much in common, it’s scary. While we would never deliberately intrude into her present life, we both very much hope that someday she’ll come around and reestablish a relationship with us.
I would absolutely want to be part of their life! I’d be completely shocked, though, from what I know of my parents.
No one in my family knew that my favorite cousin existed until I was about 11. We immediately welcomed her into our family, she’s great.
I have half-siblings from my father’s first marriage. They are very nice people, and I enjoy spending time with them, but . . . it’s not the same as my brothers, and there have been a couple of times when I’ve felt snubbed. However, I’ve known about them and visited with them since I was a little girl.
If a brand new sibling suddenly showed up, it would almost certainly be on my father’s side. He was divorced for at least a couple of years between his first wife and marrying my mom, and he was not a monk. If he’d known, I’m sure the rest of us would to, as he was scrupulous about paying child support.
And if that person existed, I would want to get to know them. I’m not guaranteeing that we’d be close - I have cousins I almost never speak to, not because of enmity but more disinterest - but I’d certainly be open to the chance.
My mother found out she had a full brother who was 3 years younger than her when she was 70 and he was 67. At first she was excited but then I think it made her depressed.
How it happened was a very sad story and we could see how giving the baby up made my grandmother who she was. It was like giving up the baby for adoption ruined my grandma for being a good mother which ruined my mom’s ability to be a good mother. Then we could all see what a great life he had. So many messed up generations because in the 1930’s people were cruel about certain things and talked my grandma into giving up the baby.
It was fun meeting everyone but I feel no connection to them. It just breaks my heart to think about the whole situation. He knew about my mom for his whole life but I don’t know why he didn’t find her earlier. It’s strange because when I was in grade school he worked 2 blocks from my house and we didn’t live in my mom’s home town.
My husband is adopted. When he was in college, his biological father found him. They met a couple of times, and during one of those times bio dad told him he’d also found his bio mom…and that my husband has a full-blooded sister born a couple of years after him (bio mom and dad got back together after my husband was put up for adoption, then broke up again --bio dad didn’t know bio mom was pregnant, supposedly. Bio mom chose to keep the sister.)
Anyway, my husband eventually did meet his bio sister and mother, although not at the same time. The sister lives near us and have 5 sons. She decided not to have anything to do with my husband because “it was just too weird”. His bio mother wished him well and didn’t want to discuss anything further.
Physically my husband takes after his bio dad. They also have some of the same quirks. It’s very bizarre comparing them They have mostly a phone relationship even though bio dad doesn’t live very far from us.