SCAM fun: lets vote on how to play with the Nigerians...

This SCAM job offer was in my inbox today. I could rant & rail, but instead lets as a community play with them.

The Pitch:

The Hook:

PLEASE DON’T USE THE ABOVE LINK. I added a space to break it, I have no idea where it really goes.
So, what should we say first? :smiley:

*Dear Mr. Hagen.

Thank you for your kind offer, but as I am neither a manager, a doctor, a teacher, a
lawyer, a secretary, a nurse or a housewife, I don’t see how I could qualify. Let me know if you have anything that could fit my specialty. I am a …

Nothing at all. Sorry to be a killjoy, but some of these scammers are thoroughly unpleasant and dangerous people. Yah, there are people who spend a lot a time playing with them. But it’s not a smart idea.

Damn, after Mr. Excellent’s post, my suggestions is kinda pointless. I was gonna say to send them a reply in Klingon or Tolkein Elvish.

I don’t think anyone will ever be able to top the infamous and hilarious P-P-P-Powerbook reverse scam.

Exactly what damange do you fear the scammers might do from Nigeria?

They might send Sally Struthers back?

I believe there is an instance wherein someone actually travelled to Nigeria, attempting to get their money back, and vanished. I do not know the actual facts of that situation, or even if it’s true.

If you’d like, I can hire a detective, cheap and easily. All I will require is your account numbers so that I may pay him. I will send you a cheque for several thousand over his expenses. Deposit it, and then send the rest to me.

I need to buy ice for my bathtub. It’s keeping my kidneys cold.

A few months ago PC World, in one of its newsletters, had this Nigerian scam # 8 or so on its list of Top 100 Internet Hoaxes. I used to receive many of their solicitations until I forwarded their junk to the Federal Trade Commission ( and soon these parasites ceased their emails. Whether the FTC had anything to do with this or if it was merely coincidence, it was (and is) worth a try.