SCAM fun: lets vote on how to play with the Nigerians...

[Count_Blucher]

This SCAM job offer was in my inbox today. I could rant & rail, but instead lets as a community play with them.

The Pitch:

"Dear Count Blucher,

Magdeburg Financial Company is greeting you! My name is Walter Hagen,
I work as Magdeburg Financial Company Program Coordinator. Our company
is happy to offer you a position of Magdeburg Financial Company Payment
Manager. We seek reliable and enthusiastic representatives for our company.

We welcome anyone, whether you are a manager, a doctor, a teacher, a
lawyer, a secretary, a nurse or a housewife. We seek Payment
Managers in the US at the moment. No fees, no start up costs or
special skills are required for fulfilling Payment Manager’s duties.
You just need to be a US citizen and be over 21 years old.

You will earn from $66,000 up to $200,000 a year and your profit can
become more after one year working with us. Magdeburg Financial Company
guarantees $5,500 every month during your first year of work. "

The Hook:

Our company has stores in Germany and all over Europe and we are
looking for US Managers to handle US payments. We are selling
various products in US and Canada and we need YOU
to process all the payments for these products, because here in
Europe cashier checks are cleared within two weeks or more,
which is not reliable for our sales. 90 from US buyers
don’t have the knowledge of how to pay with bank to bank transfers.
You can intermediate the payments between our company and the
buyers and you will get 10 from every payment that you have to
process.
Your profit will be instant: you will have your commission in hand
same day, because you will deduct your money from every payment that
you receive after the bank or the check cashing store clears the
payment.

You DON’T HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING TO WORK FOR US! Just the other way
round: you will have your 10 commission in hand with every order that
you process. No need to wait for paycheck at the end of the month
because you DEDUCT YOUR COMMISSION SAME DAY YOU WORK.

Magdeburg Financial Company Payment Manager’s position requires No costs,
Nothing to buy, No membership to pay, No accounts to purchase!

Magdeburg Financial Company Payment Manager’s position main features:
-Flexibility of hours (you can work any hour you choose)
-Work at home (all you have to do is check your email and go to the
bank)
-Part Time/Full Time
-Daytime and Evening Hours
-Professional management team with a strong support system
This is neither Network Marketing, nor a Distributorship, there is NO
‘Kit’ to Buy or NO Envelopes to Stuff.

Therefore let me say what this job entails in short:

Magdeburg Financial Company advertises its software products on US market
and due to the fact that the process of clearing our US customers checks
in Germany takes quite long (about 2 weeks plus shipping delay - more
than 3 weeks), we seek US Managers who would receive payments for
our products (checks) and cash them the same day in bank.
You get your 10 commission from each check, that is if
you receive 2-3 checks one day, you will make more than $200 every
day.

So if you find our job offer interesting and you wish to try your
abilities, feel free to email me back and I will provide you with more
detailed information regarding your duties and I will send you Magdeburg
Financial Company Employment Agreement to become our official partner.

Thank you for paying attention to our job offer and I hope to hear
back from you in the shortest possible time. We look forward to
doing business with you and exceeding all of your expectations!

With Best Wishes,
Walter Hagen,
Program Coordinator,
Magdeburg Financial Company.
http://w ww.magdeburgfinance.com

PLEASE DON’T USE THE ABOVE LINK. I added a space to break it, I have no idea where it really goes.
So, what should we say first?

[ivylass]

*Dear Mr. Hagen.

Thank you for your kind offer, but as I am neither a manager, a doctor, a teacher, a
lawyer, a secretary, a nurse or a housewife, I don’t see how I could qualify. Let me know if you have anything that could fit my specialty. I am a …

[Mr.Excellent]

Nothing at all. Sorry to be a killjoy, but some of these scammers are thoroughly unpleasant and dangerous people. Yah, there are people who spend a lot a time playing with them. But it’s not a smart idea.

[Kat]

Damn, after Mr. Excellent’s post, my suggestions is kinda pointless. I was gonna say to send them a reply in Klingon or Tolkein Elvish.

[neutron_star]

I don’t think anyone will ever be able to top the infamous and hilarious P-P-P-Powerbook reverse scam.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Mr. Excellent

Nothing at all. Sorry to be a killjoy, but some of these scammers are thoroughly unpleasant and dangerous people. Yah, there are people who spend a lot a time playing with them. But it’s not a smart idea.

Exactly what damange do you fear the scammers might do from Nigeria?

[Count_Blucher]

@Skald the Rhymer

Exactly what damange do you fear the scammers might do from Nigeria?

They might send Sally Struthers back?

[Tristan]

@Skald the Rhymer

Exactly what damange do you fear the scammers might do from Nigeria?

I believe there is an instance wherein someone actually travelled to Nigeria, attempting to get their money back, and vanished. I do not know the actual facts of that situation, or even if it’s true.

If you’d like, I can hire a detective, cheap and easily. All I will require is your account numbers so that I may pay him. I will send you a cheque for several thousand over his expenses. Deposit it, and then send the rest to me.

I need to buy ice for my bathtub. It’s keeping my kidneys cold.

[Octave9]

A few months ago PC World, in one of its newsletters, had this Nigerian scam # 8 or so on its list of Top 100 Internet Hoaxes. I used to receive many of their solicitations until I forwarded their junk to the Federal Trade Commission (spam@uce.gov) and soon these parasites ceased their emails. Whether the FTC had anything to do with this or if it was merely coincidence, it was (and is) worth a try.