Reminds me of being catfished.
This is, hands down, the worst mess I’ve seen. Sadly, someone will fall for it. Like me.
Attention Attentively,
We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2015 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you, and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court.Also we are hereby to notify by the federal bureau of investigation Cotonou department of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements.Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess. We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence.
Now I Mr john Francis Pikus the special Agent in charge of the FBI Albany Department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment of the $99.00 usd.
To the FBI in Republic of Benin (fbi security) with the information written below:
Receiver Name:::: Moses Edu
Country: Benin Republic City: Cotonou
Test Question: Urgent?
Test Answer: 24 Hours?
Amount: $99.dollars
Mtcn number…
Sender Name…
You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds $15.7Millons usd will be release immediately to your destination Address.
You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds. Note that if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time, so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP.Special Agent In Charge Mr. James Luke
Private Email Address: specialagentincharge30@ gmail. com
Reading that actually hurt you know? I’m surprised that the scammers haven’t tried to get one of the new AIs to write a better letter, because even the free-to-use variants would be more sensible than this. And it’s not hard to phrase your requests in such a way as to bypass some of the “I can’t do that Dave” restrictions…
On the other hand, you must admit that “Attention Attentively” conveys the gravely seriousness that the situation advises.
This is one of those “I heard it on the Internet” things, so take it with a grain of salt, but I’ve read that scammers deliberately stick with stilted English, to catch the lower-educated or those who speak English as a second language, on the assumption that they’re easier to snare.
I think it’s a matter of “it works, why change it?”. Most scammers have very poor English skills and just flat out mangle it trying to sounded learned. I expect it would take real talent to deliberately write that sort of thing.
Considering how many well educated people (lawyers, doctors, schoolteachers) get taken in, I doubt they have to target certain groups. Besides, it’s cheap to send mass emails and get a few lucky strikes.
I got a scam email the other day from an old friend asking me, using my childhood nickname and signed with his, for a thousand dollars to help his sister-in-law get emergency medical treatment. It was worded so clumsily that I was sure it was a scam, so rather than reply I got in touch with my friend via a different email address I had for him, asked if he’d sent me an email at 7 PM on Saturday, and then I alerted him to the scam. He changed his passwords, got his computer cleaned, etc. but I’m still wondering about one thing:
Why me?
According to my friend, no one else among his friends has reported an attempted scam. Both of us are not sure what he can do to check, other than emailing everyone he knows to warn them of this scam, but is it possible that they would have targeted only me? I doubt that very much. He and I aren’t even that close friends, so it’s not as though they would have targeted me as an especially likely respondent.
He ignored this but the idiocy continues. Email count is over 1300.
Latest, he demanded i promise not to make any more fake payments(why is he still trying?). I promised (I haventa forewhen presooning not a fake payment from this past time forward)
Credit:Douglas Adams
He then insisted I deliver the cash to his office in Uganda. Needless to say, I refused. He sent his office address(actually a bank) so I sent him the 1450 in cash(plus an extra 10 for his troubles). He hasn’t answered yet but I don’t think he expected me to mail cash.
I’m having trouble with Imgur so i can’t post the photo.
Solved it.
I may have missed something - what did you actually send? An empty envelope?
The cash in the picture (play money except for the real 20 that covers the “play money” markings). I didn’t really send it.
I printed a (fake) label and just placed it on the envelope.
Got it, thanks!
Idiot-child wants me to cancel it. Which I can’t do. It has to be refused on delivery. He wants me to make a transfer or direct deposit.
So, 4th fake payment in process and he wants a 5th fake payment.
I recently ordered a lamp off a small website. It was a $60 lamp, not a huge investment so I didn’t really research the seller.
Two weeks later, I got a cheap pair of ear buds in the mail (my guess is about $5 for their value). The return address was an Amazon fulfillment center in North Las Vegas (this was not an Amazon marketplace transaction) but the tracking number was the same one given to me by the lamp seller. An obvious scam to me.
I contacted my credit card company, but they said I have to give the seller a chance to rectify the situation before they will do anything.
So I contacted the seller via e-mail. They ask for pictures of the box, the label, the SKU number and a bunch of other hoops to jump through, which I did. This was their reply:
Dear customer,
We have just contacted the shipping warehouse and found that the shipping workers made a mistake, and we are sorry that this happened.
This is a failure of our duty.Even if this product is not what you ordered, but it still has some value.In order to save you time and money in returning it, we can offer you a 5% refund, would you like to accept this offer from us? This would be the fastest and most convenient way to solve this problem.Looking forward to your reply and hope you can accept this solution.
I refused their offer, so now I get to see how long they pretend to try and resolve the issue before they just stop responding and the credit card company is satisfied this is a scam and refunds my money.
So there have been numerous back-and forth variations of “Cancel it”/“I can’t cancel US Mail”. Stubborn as a still-born mule, this one.
Latest response: I don’t know how the PO works in Uganda but in civilized countries, there are rules. The rules say once mailed, cancellation is not possible. It can only be refused at delivery.
(He’s been quite open about being in Uganda).
Misspelling “Melons” as “Millons” seems highly suspicious to me.
I’d send some Monopoly money or gag bills with Trump’s face on them.
I just want to say that you do some amazing scambaiting and I’m extremely impressed. Keep the stories coming!
Thanks but as the saying goes, I’m standing on the shoulders of giants(or learning at their feet, it’s hard to tell 
) like Kitboga or @Mangetout . (Atomic Shrimp)
Also, you’re seeing the tip of a small iceberg, most of it goes for a day or three and is quite ordinary.
I don’t quite get this one (as entertaining as I found his freak out). Did you lead him to believe that you had successfully taken his money?