We got this big important-looking first-class letter in the mail this week, with the words “OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION TO THE PARENTS OF: THE CAT WHO WALKS ALONE GOOSE”. Jeepers. :eek: What’s she done now?
Open it up, there’s a real official-looking form there, and a letter with bold-face print all over it. “CAT GOOSE FINANCIAL AID TUITION FEES CAREER PLANNING PSAT ACT SAT TESTS FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE THAT WILL SECURE 100% OF THE FUNDING NEEDED FOR YOUR STUDENT’S COLLEGE EDUCATION, INCLUDING…” “…SATURDAY JANUARY 13TH AND SUNDAY JANUARY 14TH…” “CALL THE NATIONAL RESERVATION LINE…” “TO SECURE FUNDING AND COMPLETE ENROLLMENT…” “REQUIRED STUDENT QUESTIONNAIRE” “MEMBER–BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU” all over it, and in what the newspaper trade calls “Second Coming of Christ” typeface it says at the bottom, “DEADLINE NOTICE…”
And then there’s a full page of testimonials–“I, as well as my family, would personally like to thank you…”
“When I brought my son Nick to you in his sophomore year of high school…”
“When I came to you my life was in a state of chaos…You stepped in and immediately found funds for my daughter not only to go to college, but to a private college at that!”
I’m going, “WTF??” So I go to their website, http://www.cfcservice.com/ and find that it’s basically just a service to fill out the various forms for financial aid, for a fee, of course. It was begun by a Mr. Baron in the 1980s, out of the kindness of his heart evidently–he just felt so sorry for all those parents out there, having to wade through all this paperwork.
Upon reading my post, I realized that mere words cannot convey the visual impact of this overwhelmingly official-looking document. Suffice it to say that mail-merge word processors must have improved a lot since the last time I looked. If I were a less alert consumer, I might have come to the entirely reasonable conclusion that this was something The Cat needed to have so she could go to college, and I might have showed up for the big meeting down at the Holiday Inn.
At work we recieved an invoice for a subscription to a law journal (I work at a law firm) for 340.00. We didn’t order the 3 month free trial or anything like that just got the invoice. I call the company and they said they got our name off a mailing list and just send invoices to every one of the names. Is that rediculous or what?
Please try to remember that they had to pass laws specifically to prohibit people from putting ads in the newspaper that read;
This Is Your Last Chance To Send
One Dollar To This Address:
xxxx ABC Street
Springfield, XX
The money would come pouring in. No promise of anything in return, just “hurry and send the money!” That’s all it took.
No I got it
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