Do a search for the thread title in google, someone has been posting this phrase along with a lengthy rant about how a woman named Scarlett Galabekian had her DNA stolen and used to clone the famous actress, there are thousands and thousands of this identical comment stretching back to 2008. Anytime any news site, blog, or message board mentions SJ this person creates an account just to post that comment.
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But I do have a cool band name now, ladies and germs welcome Stolen Biological Material!!!
Does this mean that I can go to Germany to get a Scarlett Johansson of my very own? I would like that a lot. My wife may disagree but it’s in the name of science… yeah… Science.
I’m imagining that right now, somewhere in Hollywood, some kind of agent or producer type is having a conversation about this new movie they just heard a rumour about: Think DaVinci Code meets a female Jason Bourne, with a secret Nazi underground conspiracy to produce mind-controlled clones, one of which wakes up not knowing who or what they are. And, from what he understands, Scarlett Johansson is already attached as the lead!
Schizophrenics are annoying in part because their conspiracy theories are always so uninspired. Its always the CIA putting chips in peoples brains or Jesus warning about an imminent apocalypse in a secret code somewhere or being stalked by some celebrity.
So props to Serge G. Helmut Khol’s operation to mass produce Scarlett Johansson clones is a pretty original brand of crazy.
In the distant eighties, I had a room-mate who was schizophrenic, and when asked about why he frequently closed his door and smashed things up him in room while screaming incoherently, he patiently explained that he had been kidnapped by the government and cloned - and although he managed to escape, his clone remained in captivity, and because of the experimental satellite link-up which connected the chips in their brains, he was frequently subjected to unbearable pain as the government tortured his clone in their attempts to compel him to return.
Schizophrenia is waaaay down my list of afflictions I think I would be able to cope with, if I had to.
I just read a short story the other day by Bruce Sterling in which (extremely incidentally to the plot) a group of organized criminals take advantage of a riot by barricading a posh restaurant to take blood samples from all the guests, which they will then use to make clones, which they will then hold hostage.
So I’m disappointed that this nutjob couldn’t be more original.
I dunno, you’d be amazed what you can deal with when you have to. Unlike what TV would have you believe, schizophrenia runs the gamut from mild to severe, doesn’t usually make people homicidal, and can be treated a lot of the time. I know a young woman who is schizophrenic and sometimes paranoid, but is very much on her meds and knows how to manage herself well. You wouldn’t know she was ill if she didn’t tell you. I don’t want to take away from the seriousness of it - it can be really devastating, especially when the sufferer refuses treatment - but it’s not an automatic life sentence either.
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