Why would anyone get to make an abortion decision?
The reason we don’t criminalize abortion is that it happens inside a woman’s body, and our legal theory is that human beings have a right to bodily integrity. The mother gets to decide, not because she’s a mother, but because the fetus is gestating in her body. Even if we disagree with the decision, it’s impractical and inhumane to try to criminalize it.
In the case of an artificially gestated fetus or embryo there is no such conflict of interests. All medical decisions made for the baby in this case have to be consistent with the best interests of the baby, and don’t require any balancing of the best interests of the parents or medical staff. The parents and medical staff don’t get to decide to change their minds and kill the developing baby for no reason. Yes, we currently don’t require people with babies gestating in them to give a good reason to terminate the pregnancy. That’s not because of some consistent moral principle that mothers get to decide if they want to be parents, it’s because it’s completely impractical and impossible to regulate women’s wombs in this manner.
It happens for some patients that the best medical advice we can give them is to refrain from continuing medical treatment. If the baby has severe untreatable developmental defects, then it might be the ethical thing to do is to stop providing useless medical treatment for a baby that is dying anyway. But in no case does “we just don’t feel like having a baby anymore” a valid reason for killing the baby.
If we think it’s very likely that lots of people will change their minds after going to the expense of having an in vitro gestation, maybe we should require everyone commissioning such a baby to post a bond or buy insurance sufficient to care for the brat after it’s born, if they decide they don’t want the baby anymore and we can’t find someone to adopt the baby. And if the medical team doesn’t want the responsibility of caring for the gestating baby, maybe they should have thought of this before carrying out the procedure of creating the baby in the first place.
And if in vitro gestation becomes routine enough, then we can also argue that there’s no justification for abortion anymore. The bodily integrity argument becomes moot if we can safely remove the developing baby without killing it, and allow it to grow to term in vitro.
What happens to that baby after it gets decanted would be the same thing that happens to babies today after they get born, when one or more of the parents decides they don’t want to be a parent to the baby, or are unfit to be the parent to the baby. The baby gets adopted, or goes into foster care, or goes to the parent that wants it, and the other parent is obligated to provide child support.
In this case, the rights of the mother and father become exactly the same. Nobody has an obligation to carry a pregnancy to term in their own body, but likewise nobody has the right to force anyone to end the life of a developing baby, and likewise nobody can get out of a child support obligation unless someone else is wiling to assume full parental responsibility for the baby.