Those humanoid clarinetists from Star Wars were pretty hep cats. I bet we could get along well enough, especially if I shared my hot jazz and early Louis Armstrong discs with them. (It helps that I’m not hung up on height and that I’ve always loved musicians.) Granted, their facial features could be read as impersonal and cold, but they’ve got bilateral symmetry, skin, fingers and digital dexterity up the wazoo… er… And you know their species must be real musical talents, because the Mos Eisley band hacks weren’t half bad, even though that cantina must’ve been one of the worst-paying gigs in the whole star system and draw only third-rate talent. You know, what with there being no greater den of scum and villainy and all that.
When I was a young teen and got caught up in V, Robert Englund’s “Willy” [as opposed to typing “Robert Englund’s Willy,” which could be willfully misunderstood] was appealing and cute. But then, Willy was having an existentialist crisis and became IIRC a traitor to his species. And I still wouldn’t want to watch Willy eat, so that rules out “dinner and a movie” dates. And if Willy were to peel off his latex human skin to reveal the reptile underneath, fuhgeddaboudit. (I guess personality, character, and soul will only get you so far, after all.)
“You do not have enough openings.”
Definitely. I’m sure Kirk embodies the true reason that humans are so keen to seek out new life and new civilizations: wider range of potential sexual partners. 
Heh… or humanoid, but with facial tentacles… oh… Draenei.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its life-long mission: To explore strange new girls.
To seek out new lifestyles and new sex positions.
To boldly come where no man has come before!
{Cue theme music.}
I always thought the grey chick from Farscape was pretty hot. Aeryn Sun doesn’t count as alien enough, since, while she’s hot, she looks exactly like a human female.
Ya know, there’s a Filk song that goes into this at greater depth–Banned From Argo.
Possibly NSFW
And here’s a summary–
And the lyrics–
I’d go along with this, all in all. As long as I was not at risk of serious injury or death, and we could both find the experience enjoyable, I’m game. I personally thought Laliari in Galaxy Quest was kinda cute - and Kwan’s blissful “Oh, the hell with it!” roll of the eyes once her tentacles showed themselves was hilarious.
I thought pon farr only applied to the males of the species. For all I know, the planet’s full of elegant, pointed-eared women who are simply crazed with lust. Sign me up for the next starliner to Vulcan!
It’s hard to say, I’ve never encountered a sentient non-human before, so I don’t know if my instincts would reject or respond to one. I know that, morally and logically, I would not have any issues with sexual contact with a sentient non-human, no matter how alien (the bestiality taboo is based on a non-sentient’s ability to consent and understand what’s happening, in my opinion), but there have been some humans who were not deformed in any way that I found totally unattractive because they just seemed “off” to me, so it’s hard to imagine myself responding to a realistic alien (i.e. not a Star Trek/Star Wars humans with bumps on their heads, those tentacle-headed chicks in Star Wars are pretty hot).
I thought of the Ooloi, too. I don’t think I would do it without their coercion, though.
I loved that story, but it did give me the willies.
So, are we talking just hooking up with an alien casually, or more of a “desert island” type scenario? If I were stranded on a planet or in a spaceship somewhere with a creepy, smelly, stupid alien how long could I hold out?
G’Kar- 10 years
Spock- 2 Years
Teal’c- I’m on him before the other ships are out of communications range.
Hrm. Given that humans can feel empathy even towards weighted cubes, anything that can evoke the belief (real or otherwise) that I can relate to something will at least ping my interest. I wouldn’t be adverse to a wide group of alien friends, but sex would probably be limited to humanoid species at first because I have enough issues figuring out how to date my fellow man, as it were.
As an aside, I’ve always wondered how the Saiyajins were able to reproduce without killing their human spouses. (And how the heck freaking Goku managed to have two kids because neither him nor Chi-Chi seemed to have any idea about the birds or the bees.)
Beause I probably have a sick mind, your scenario immediately made me think of this really dumb and offensive old “desert island” joke. I’d tell it but I don’t want to needlessly earn the ire of members of a certain ethnic group, women, animal rights activitists, and people with a common sense of decency.
I’m reminded of an old (I mean OLD) thread, quite some time back…I think it was brainstorming ideas for Star Trek spinoffs, or something.
Anyway, at one point, someone came up with the idea of the “Cooties”: an intelligent humanoid (?) alien species of completely kind, pleasant, and helpful people…who happened to have, instead of skin, a writhing layer of insects covering their bodies, in a symbiotic relationship.
(No word on if other features were visible through the layer of insects—such as slightly oversized, lidless eyes. But I can only assume)
Just food for thought…along with the thought that, danger of stings and pinchers aside, she’d have to be pretty damn charming.
All right, tell it. Put it in a spoiler box if you must, but tell it!
I’ll do it but you’ve been warned.
This guy who belongs to an ethnic group that’s often unfairly stereotyped for its lack of mental acumen is shipwrecked on a desert island. Fortunately, his bad situation is at least somewhat alleviated by the presence of potable water from a spring, coconut trees, fish, and driftwood to burn. However, building a fire proves difficult so he tries to get around this problem by keeping the fire burning at all times and constantly staying close to it. Unfortunately, he is the only person on the island. The closest thing to a human being is an old, smelly, one-eyed, toothless, mangy, pustule-ridden, diseased female monkey.
As might be expected, the guy starts getting these urges and that results in the monkey looking better to him as time goes on. Finally, it gets to be too much; the guy snaps and, in a fit of pure lust, goes after the monkey. However, despite her age and infirmity, the monkey proves to be spry enough to evade him and scampers up to the top of a coconut tree where she pelts him with coconuts and her own shit. Nonetheless, the guy’s so horny he refuses to give up and starts climbing the tree and makes it halfway up before looking down on the beach below and seeing the dying embers of his fire. In a panic, he jumps down from the tree and dashes across the beach just in time to throw a few branches on the fire before it goes out.
Needless to say, this routine repeats itself numerous times. Each time, the monkey evades the man, runs up a tree, and throws coconuts and her shit at him until he notices his fire’s going out and has to rush back to tend it. All the while, the guy’s carnal frustration keeps building until he’s on the verge of exploding.
One day, after another maddeningly unsuccessful pursuit of the monkey, the guy is on the beach building his fire back up when he notices out on the otherwise calm ocean some splashing and what looks like a human arm trying to wave. He wades into the ocean to get a better look and catches a glimpse of a red and white lifesaver with what his clearly a woman clinging to it. After hearing a faint “help,” the man runs into the surf and swims out to rescue her. Fortunately, he saves the woman just in time and brings her back to shore where he sets her down by the fire and gives her some spring water and grilled fish pieces as she recovers. At that point, the guy finally gets a good look at his rescuee and notices she’s young, blonde, naked, and looks an awful lot like Marisa Miller.
The woman speaks. “Thank you,” she says in a breathy voice. “I was in a boat on my way to a photo shoot when a wave capsized it. I grabbed a lifesaver but got caught in a current before anyone could bring me out. I must’ve drifted for days without food or water.”
She looks at herself and notices her nudity.
"I’m sorry but I must’ve lost my bikini in the current " she comments. “Even though I managed to swim toward your island, I was so weak I thought for sure I was going to die. Then … you rescued me!”
The woman brushes her hand across the guy’s scraggly beard.
“I am eternally grateful for what you did,” the blonde beauty continues. “Right now to me, you are the most handsome man I have ever met and I would do anything to pay you back.”
“Anything?” the man asks.
“Anything,” the woman replies with a grin and mischievous glint in her eye.
To which the guy immediately says, “Well, can you keep an eye on the fire while I try to go fuck that monkey?”
semi NSFW: http://www.cgartworld.com/cggirls/Mermaid.jpg.html
Thats about the limit for me.
I wonder–would a real-life equivalent of the Uncanny Valley Effect spoil the “romance”?
Lose the suckers on the tentacles and we’ll talk.
I love it! Thanks.
A similar story has a sheep as the object of desire and a monkey interrupting all such attempts, and the request is that the monkey be kept at bay while the castaway gives the sheep a good seeing-to. 