re : http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=69359
[sup](with apologies to Peter, Paul and wassername; sung to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”. C’mon, boys and girls, everybody sing along!)[/sup]
**“Scott the Horny Sailor” **
(or : “I’d sure like her to puff my magic dragon IYKWIM”)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
He talked about his penis
And the wonders it could do
And all the ladies “ooh’d” and “ahh’d”
And screamed till they turned blue.
But when it all was over
And evening turned to morn,
He still be stuck alone in bed
And jerking off to porn.
Oh …
(chorus)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
He tried to get some action
Or maybe just a blow
But every time he came that close
His ship would up and go.
He tried to do his duty
He tried to keep it clean
But then he’d think about the girls
And cream his Navy jeans.
Oh …
(chorus)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
The ocean rolls forever
But not for sailor boys
Life on ships and year-long trips
Give way to land-ward joys.
The ladies all were thankful
They all were glad he stayed
And maybe now that horny guy
Can finally get laid.
Oh …
(chorus)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
S.I.M.S (M.P.)
Scott the horny sailor
Lived on the sea
And flirted with the women in
Esss Eye Emmm Esss (Emmm Peeeeeeee!)
