You, Sir, have obviously never seen my attempts at omelets. 
Len Deighton? Funeral In Berlin Len Deighton?
I think a bigger issue is Dopers that don’t understand how to beat eggs with a fork. You don’t just get all stabby with it, its a rotating motion that results in goodness.
Ar? 
Who said anything about getting all stabby with it?
People upthread that say they use spatulas in the skillet. The eggs must be beaten, man! And not frothed with a wisk!
Otherwise, you’re just stabbing!
Okay, I make no sense.
Ah. I beat my eggs in a bowl (with a fork), because beating them in the pan is the wrong way. 
I usually use a nonstick pan for scrambled eggs, so metal utensils are verboten.
I hate to hog the thread, but that is true of so many things in life.
Maybe I’m reading too much sexual inuendo into this, but unless I learn some serious break dancing moves… rotation isn’t really in my bag of tricks.
I’ll just shut up before we get the Mods in here.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well, even stuffing your face.
They’re kinda between omelettes and scrambled. For omelettes, I mix them thoroughly in the bowl first and they don’t get touched once they’re in the pan. These do have curds, and the mixing isn’t as thorough and happens in the pan.
It’s also a presentation thing-- I can get them out of the pan easier and faster this way, and they look better on the plate.
Add very little water or milk (I don’t add any)…nothing grosser than wet, watery scrambled eggs.
I mix in the pan…as noted uptread…those perfectly even colored lumps of foam rubber they serve at restaruants (especially on buffets) are nasty.
Add the cheese at the very end (if at all)…to early and you get this incorporated, sour, and sometimes too wet, mealy mess.
One of the best things to do for scrambled or fried eggs is to slightly brown the butter on med. high heat, lower the heat and add the eggs.
I have the Rex Stout cookbook, as it happens. But since I can’t be bothered to scan the whole thing in, I’ll just direct you here for the recipe. It involves a double boiler, basically. I’ve never tried it myself.
Upon re-reading, I agree: its why mankind invented rotisseries…mmmmm, rotation…
The whole part about how the eggs end up fluffy is made more or less moot by cooking them properly.
The trick is to get them good and scrambled in the bowl ahead of time, and then add them to a COLD pan, and heat the whole mess up on low heat, stirring/scraping constantly.
Basically you’re not “frying” the eggs, you’re just using the pan to heat them.
After a few minutes, the entire volume of eggs in the pan will begin to reach the cooking temperature- it’ll go from mostly liquid with whatever lumps of cooked egg you’ve been scraping off the bottom, to almost completely cooked very fast.
At that point, continue on low for maybe 10-15 seconds. Turn off the heat and keep stirring for another 20 seconds or so. Keep in mind that the eggs will continue to cook for a little while past when you turn the heat off, so you want them just a hair underdone- slightly “wet” looking, if you will.
By the time you go to serve them, they’ll be light, fluffy and moist.
You can add whatever you want in the way of solids, but be more careful of liquids; they can mess with your perception of done or not.
One thing I do from time to time when making breakfast burritos is to add about a tsp of Mexican oregano when beating the eggs, and to cut in a tablespoon of soft cream cheese near the end of the cooking cycle. Makes for rich, creamy eggs and helps offset the spices I use on the bacon. The cream cheese is good anytime, and a dash of herbs (like herbs de provence) once in awhile is nice, also.
Having tried both your method, and Ramsay’s (and in the A.M., too; imagine - you it is actually possible to snip chives and spoon out a dollop of creme fraiche before noon!), his is most definitely better. The end.
I just made this for Sunday breakfast and it gets a hearty thumbs up from the boyfriend and myself. The store didn’t have creme fraiche or chives, so I used ricotta cheese and minced scallions. I also cooked up the white portion of the scallions with the tomatoes and mushrooms.
OMG so good. Except in my frenzied stirring I spilled about an egg’s worth all over the stove. 
I never tried that method, but it looks reasonably easy (I was expecting something quite complicated given the previous remark), and the consistency looks right about how I like it. It’s a little more homogeneous than I make mine usually, but it’s not that yellow styrofoam that’s served at most diners.
As for the creme fraiche, a reasonable substitute is either Mexican crema (which I usually have around the house, anyway), a mix of sour cream and yogurt, or just plain sour cream. All will be slightly different than real creme fraiche, but all will work fine.
I always hold back some of the raw egg and stir it in right before taking thepan off the heat