Parents: Do not, under any circumstances, take your cranky two year old to any area of a library other than the children’s department. It really pisses us library staff off.
I know you have research to do, so take your damn books down to Children’s and do it there. Sitting for two hours in front of the reference desk with a screaming little hellion that howls so loud I have to yell into the phone is not cool.
I don’t hate kids. I hate inconsiderate parents.
No, but this does:
As does this:
Granted, I believe in keeping the kids under rein when in situations where there’s potential danger. Speaking like this to one’s father, however, is a really stupid idea, and I discourage it.
You could have always pushed Yuppie Jr. just enough so his testicles would’ve been caught in the paint shaker. You would have helped break at least that chain of ignorant parents with stupid kids.
Alas,
You did not do your duty and hence deserve to get punished by kids screaming in your ear for the rest of your days.
I don’t hate kids. I love kids. In fact, I am currently gestating one of my own.
That having been said, the behavior described the the OP is completely inappropriate and out of hand. Kids running out of control in a HARDWARE STORE? Anyone with half an ounce of common sense should be able to see the danger in that. Forget whether it’s annoying the other patrons (which is most probably is) – it’s a safety hazard, a big one. And it drives me crazy when children are harassing people (e.g., the toddler screaming into OP’s ear) and the parents either do nothing, or smile gently and remark on what a cute tot they have.
I mean, come on. I’m not saying that children never belong in a hardware store. But if you’re going to bring them, make sure they’re on a tight leash (figuratively or literally, it doesn’t matter to me). If they become out of control, start running around the place, or actively bothering other customers, it’s time to leave and come back to get the plywood later, after everyone has had a nap or whatever.
Amen. I’m sick of telling children at Kmart not to climb on the ladder or displays or play with the wheelchair or motorized scooters. One of these days, those kids are going to get hurt, and WE will be blamed. Not to mention that the wheelchairs are not there for kids-they are there for people who NEED them. And it really pisses me off when people play with the scooter-then we have to recharge it, and someone who needs it can’t use it.
Nor do I appreciate having stuff spit all over my counter, or having to pick up after kids who decided to play tag and catch in the lingerie department. It isn’t a playground.
Hey, I work just down the street from Conde Nast. Want me to deliver this helpful message for you?
Jesus christ, where were all you people when I was waging a lonely battle of reason on my parenting list? One mom was complaining because her 18-month-old and 4-year-old were running around in Wal-Mart and one of them was fucking with the sewing machine display and cut his finger on a sharp edge. She was furious with Wal-Mart and suggested haughtily that they should have this and every other potentially hazardous object out of the reach of children. It was their fault for having the sewing machine placed where it could be touched, and without a sign indicating that the needle and thread cutters were sharp.
About a dozen other moms expressed sympathy and offered suggestions on the crabby letter she ought to write to the store. You know “Lots of families shop in Wal-mart, so they really ought to think about the safety of kids and put all the unsafe stuff up high.”
I about exploded.
A-fucking-men. I worked in a library my senior year in high school. My God…
…I remember going to the library when I was a kid. My mom’s a pretty laid-back person, but I knew–I knew–that if I had thrown a temper tantrum in the library, I would have been out of there faster than Pat Buchanan at Samhain circle. That’s not the case anymore. So, for the future edification of the breeding population, and because I’m harboring a year of pent-up hostility towards these “parents,” I present for you the following guidelines for in-library behavior.
1.) Any child between the ages of one and five are too young to enter any part of the library other than the children’s section for longer than five minutes. No, we don’t care if you have a 170-page report on the history of Burkina Faso due the next morning for your graduate class on third world economies. The adult section is supposed to be quiet, and yes, Mommmy Dearest, that means your precious little angel, too.
2.) No, you can’t circumvent rule number one by allowing your children to roam about the children’s section for hours at a time like so many free-range chickens. The children’s librarians do not operate a day care center. They are not responsible for your children. If you need to go to the adult section, either hire a fucking babysitter, or make your research quick. Don’t abandon your toddlers to us; we have better things to do.
3.) Screaming at your children in the middle of the library does not make the library quieter. All it does is expose you as an ignorant ass-wipe who, apparantly, lacks the brain cells needed to read a simple “Quiet” sign, yet has somehow managed to procreate.
4.) Slapping your children around in front of library staff is way beyond stupid; it’ll earn you a trip to the nifty Elgin, Illinois police department. Yes, we are supposed to report cases of child abuse. We’ll overlook a spanking, but if we see you slap a kid…there are plenty of over-worked, self-righteous bitches like me who’d be happy to call DCFS on your stupidity-ridden ass.
…I feel better now…
Cranky
on my mailing list a mother was upset because she let her naked 2 year old play with a battery operated train and he got his penis caught in the moving parts. Well, duh.
She wrote to FisherPrice to complain. She also got support from some members of the list but geez…
No, but is there a law that says that both of you have to go? One can stay home and watch the kids, while the other goes to the hardware store to get the fixture. If you don’t trust him to get the right type, let him stay home and you go.
Taking children to a place that sells equipment that grown people have to wear protective gear (hard hats, goggles, gloves, steel toed boots, resperators, etc.) to operate is foolish and dangerous. Not supervising them if you absolutly have to take them is asinine.
Saturday night my sister and I were comparing the marks on the insides of our upper arms*. We don’t know how our mother did it, but every time we acted up in a public place she would grab our arms, DIG her fingers under our biceps, lean in real close, and whisper in that “mom” voice: “If you kids don’t knock it off RIGHT NOW we are getting into the car and going home, and I’ll give you something to scream about!”
Settled us down right-the-fuck-NOW.
Don’t parents know how to do that anymore?
*Apocryphal. We don’t actually have marks. But godDAMN I can FEEL that pain right now, 25 years later…
I think those words are generally spoken through clenched teeth as well, yes? Bulging eyes optional, of course.
Um… Chique… I do that.
this is too funny:
[quote]
on my mailing list a mother was upset because she let her naked 2 year old play with a battery operated train and he got his penis caught in the moving parts. Well, duh. [/quote}
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAH
How do these boneheads remember to breathe?
When making fun of another persons intellect, I should preview.
Screaming Children in public places require an introduction to Mr. Duct Tape.
The funniest story involving a misbehaving child happened in Target. Mr. and Mrs. Brokencondom were attempting to get Jr., maybe four or five or six (who the hell knows), to put on his shoes. Apparently, Jr. wanted to walk around barefoot and thought showing his vocal and lung capacity was the way to get what he wanted. Well, The Screaming Method worked. Ten or fifteen minuets later, Mrs. Pyrrhonist was in the checkout line buying our purchases and I was in the men’s room for a leak. It must have been early morning since the men’s room had last been cleaned: there was piss and water all over the floor and stalls. I tiptoed around the worst of the mess to the urinal. Then, on my way out, in comes Jr. without his parents–still barefoot. Ayup, he walked right through the mess. I couldn’t stop laughing all the way to the parking lot. This anecdote still amuses me years later.
Geez, I personally don’t feel very safe in Home Depot, and I’m an adult. Those lumbers aisles are stacked just a little bit too high IMHO.
chique, I think I will let my kids read your post so that they know that I am not the only mom to do that.
I also count to three, but never make it past two. A friend asked me how I did that cause she could never get it to work.
I told her to ask the kids what happens at three and the looks on their faces was enough. I told her you have to follow through with it counting without consequence only works for kindergarten teachers.
As for both parents looking for that light fixture and having to take the child…This is a common occurance for us.
Something as simple as that requires both of us. Myself for the fact that I want it to look right, him for the technical stuff.
Most of the little stuff is taken care of one parent at a time.
Keli, I do the line up and count thing also. I usually have my five and a few others with me at all times.
I had one friend ask me once when I got out of the house alone if there was something missing cause I looked like I forgot something. I told them there wasn’t a trail of heathens behind me and that must be what was missing.
Rented kid = step-child? I will have to use that since my step-daughter lovingly calls me her step-monster.
Pyrrhonist, my kids have had the duct tape threat before. I have even gone as far as to get it out and tear off a piece. Ah, the joys of parenting. But I am a Calvin and Hobbes type of parent anyway. The bigger the scare factor the more fun. 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Revedge *
**
God, are you kidding? With our divergent tastes? We grocery shop, clothing shop, and do just about everything else in the retail world alone, with the other adult staying home with Cranky Jr. But home fixtures are serious frickin’ business, pal.
As I mentioned before, at this stage in the demon’s development, we do in fact hire a babysitter for these nights. It’s cheaper than the marriage counseling we’d have to go through trying to live with each others’ home decor choices. But I still believe that Home Depot is an acceptable destination for well-behaved children, or those who are completely and utterly cowed by their parents’ authority. Or those who have no arms or legs. They’d be just fine in there.
All right…Now that I’ve had a chance to calm down…
A couple words about responses to my OP.
For the record, I do not hate kids. That doesn’t mean, however, that sometimes I don’t feel like smashing the kid who’s screaming into my ear. This was my first Pit thread. I thought it was okay to indulge in a little fantasy about what I’d like to do to parents who let their kids run around unsupervised in dangerous places.
There are a few reasons why this experience pissed me off:
I had tons of shopping to do and the screaming brats were distracting the hell out of me.
The parents in the OP seemed to have this attitude that it was okay to let their rugrats roam around the store. It would be okay because there were plenty of adults in the store. If Junior decided to get into a dangerous situation, someone would handle it. This happens to me all the time, and I resent the fact that certain irresponsible parents expect me and the rest of the world to keep an eye on their kids. I don’t have kids. Neither do any of my close relatives. Therefore, I don’t have to babysit. You want me to keep an eye on your kids? Well, my company bills me out at $400 an hour, so that’s as good a starting point as any to negotiate an hourly rate for babysitting service.
How many times have we all seen a lack of personal responsibility turn into a ridiculous lawsuit? It would be really easy for a two-year-old to wander out in front of an operating forklift, or to pull a table saw display down on his own head. Kids love to climb things - I can’t tell you how many smashed pedestal sinks I used to have to clean up when I worked at Pergament because some kid grabbed onto it and tried to pull himself up and the thing tipped over and smashed into 1,000 pieces. How much ya wanna bet that if Junior had gotten his nuts caught in the paint shaker that Mom and Dad would have filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit? And Home Depot would probably try to settle it to avoid negative publicity and the risk of actually having to dole out 100 million clams. And who ends up paying for this? In part, me (the guy with no kids).
I’m tired of parents who assume that the entire world is completely safe for their children. Even worse are the ones who try to Disnify* the whole world. I bet there will be parents who post to this thread and wonder why Home Depot hasn’t made their stores kid-friendly. Why not? Because building a completely safe warehouse store would be cost-prohibitive if not impossible. This expectation that every place in the world should be kid-safe is total bullshit. There should be and there will be places where it’s inappropriate and/or unsafe to bring your kid. Deal with it.
-THespos
Whoa, a Washington & Lee man who is also pulling down $800,000 per annum?
So, THespos, how are YOU doin’?