Screw Coronovirus: what can we do about the current toilet paper crisis?

Woohoo. My tp subcription fron Amazon came only 1 day late. I subscribed months ago because my daugter and grandkids were always stopping by to grab a roll or three, and I needed to be prepared. They moved closer to town at the end of last month so won’t be stopping by as often, but I hadn’t adjusted my subscription.

Which is good, because I supplied their new house with tp when they moved. They took a good chunk of my paper towel stock as well.

We now know why there is no TP, it is so **Ann Hedonia ** can get “the thrill of the victory!”

I haven’t seen TP in the store for 4 weeks and I was just there yesterday.

It certainly has been scarce around here. A few days ago I did score a miserable little four-pack of RV/boat TP, at the Walmart on W 11th Ave. Fortunately it’s not all we have, though.

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I scored some TP at Seniors Hours at the supermarket, but it was store-brand single ply. It’s the thinnest TP I think I’ve ever used, I have to snap off 8 squares and fold it 3 times so it doesn’t disintegrate mid wipe.

I miss my Charmin Extra Soft.

Hmm. I ordered some bamboo TP on Amazon. It’s coming from Hong Kong. When it shipped, I got a notice with a photo that differed from the photo on the product site. Specifically, it’s an image with pornographic drawings. NSFW, and we shall see what actually arrives.

Hmm. What did you say your address was again?

TP is a low inventory item, because consumption is very stable, usually, and it takes up lots of space, in stores and warehouses. Stores can be caught short, but this is a glitch.

Anyone regretting not having phone books anymore?

We were out of town when the panic shopping insanity hit, so we never got a chance to restock TP (which we were just about due for anyway). And my asthmatic self is not setting foot in a grocery store right now, and it is basically impossible to acquire TP in any way other than actually entering a store. (I managed curbside pickup for basically everything else.)

Luckily I have a totally awesome friend who dropped some off from her out-of-town mom’s stash. Mom obviously isn’t coming back from Florida anytime soon, and my friend and I share a late-perestroika affinity for acquiring paper products in short supply. (We both studied Russian at the same university and lived in Russia around the collapse of the USSR.)

I returned the favor by giving her a giant platter full of homegrown microgreens and a batch of home-baked brownies, and everyone was happy!