If further defense of messed.
Imagine a room in disarray. Nobody says “Look at this big screw (or fuck)”. “Who made this big fuck (or screw)”. “This is soooo fucky (or screwy)”.
One has to wonder what she calls a pork chop.
Whatever happened to that, anyway? We used to use “pork” for “fuck” all the time. I say: Time for a renaissance!
I’m agreeing with you. I am NOT agreeing with the claim that it is always vulgar. If a kid says, “Mom I was working on a puzzle and Billy screwed up all the pieces” that ANYONE in their right mind would consider that vulgar. It’s not. Not even close.
But that’s just the definition. If you look up “snafu” on Dictionary.com, you get this definition:
sna⋅fu
–noun
- a badly confused or ridiculously muddled situation.
–adjective - in disorder; out of control; chaotic.
–verb (used with object) - to throw into disorder; muddle.
This definition is as innocent-sounding as the definition of “screw up”. Does this mean that “snafu” has no source in any vulgar word? No, because in that same entry, the definition of “snafu” is followed by this:
Origin:
1940–45; s(ituation) n(ormal): a(ll) f(ucked) u(p); sometimes euphemistically construed as f(ouled) u(p)
With regard to the verb phrase “screw up”, Dictionary.com does not provide any origin information either way; thus, it is an open question as to whether or not the phrase is a euphemism for “fuck up”.
In all honesty, it had never occurred to me before that “screw up” was anything but a euphemism for “fuck up”. I guess that this was because I was thinking that there were only two definitions of “screw” as a verb – to have intercourse, and to insert a screw – and I couldn’t see what inserting a screw had to do with making a mess of something. (The question of what having intercourse has to do with making a mess of something could be the subject of a long discussion.) However, upon consulting my dictionary, I see that there is another, less common definition of “screw” – to twist out of shape or contort – so I can see how “screw up” could come from that definition. But I still don’t feel that any convincing evidence that it definitely did arise in that way has been presented.
The President says it here. So, I’m going to say it can’t be that bad.
I’ve heard it used to describe a facial gesture, “she screwed up her face.” In that context it obviously doesn’t mean “she fucked up her face.”
My 4-year-old daughter is obsessed with pointing out words that she’s not supposed to say: sucks, hate, shut up, stupid. So when a friend says “that sucks” and my kid says “it’s not nice to say sucks,” I follow up with “we’d appreciate if you don’t teach that shit to my daughter.” Ironically ‘shit’ hasn’t made it into her vocabulary yet.
Didn’t Dick Cheney get recorded telling a congressman to “fuck off” a couple years ago? I could be wrong about the details.
So, I’m going to say it can’t be that bad.
Unless she did a really bad job of putting on her makeup 
My niece was the same way. “Mom, you said fuck. Seriously! SHe said it! She said FUCK! I thought we weren’t supposed to say FUCK!”
I don’t recall reading the linked thread when it first appeared, but I noticed the following just now:
In Post #2, RealityChuck gives an example from 1631 of “scrued vp” used to mean “raised prices”.
In Post #17, samclem claims that the OED traces the “sexual intercourse” meaning to “as early as 1625”, which “predates” RealityChuck’s example. Yet in the cite samclem supplies, the New Canting Dict. definition is attributed to the year 1725, ninety-four years after 1631.
Although this doesn’t establish the etymology of the phrase, it appears that samclem’s chronology is – dare I say it? – screwed up.
Now that I look back, I think you’re right.
When volume III(and IV?) of The Historical Dictionary of American Slang appears sometime in the next few years, we’ll have the benefit of all the research that has been done the last 20 years on letters P-Z. I dare say that Jon Lighter, the editor, has plenty of cites which will confirm that “screw up,” at least since the 1930s-40s is directly derived as a euphemism for “fuck up.” Proving it will always be hard.
This morning the CNN news anchor was quoting someone who said “…screwed up…”. So apparently the CNN censor staff doesn’t think “screwed up” is offensive.
Compare:
Better check the sales figures again; those numbers seem pretty fucked.
*Fucky *isn’t the adjective form of fuck; *fucked *is.
You’ll often see snips posted online from an old Batman comic that involve the word boner–in its now deprecated meaning of mistake.
I still remember a time when I was in grade school when I said that something “sucks” in front of my grandparents and everyone got all shocked. I couldn’t figure out why, of course. They all told me it was “inappropriate,” but wouldn’t explain when I asked, “But it’s just sucking! How is it inappropriate?”
When I’m swearing in a public place where I can’t actually swear in the way that I’d like, I’ll often go with くそ (kuso, a Japanese word that falls somewhere between *crap *and shit) for that exact reason–it’s very good for spitting out with vitriol.
Compare:
Oh noes! An avalanche! We’re fucked!
Oh noes! An avalanche! We’re screwed!
*Oh noes! An avalanche! We’re screwy!
Here is an inflected form of “screw” that has no counterpart form with “fuck.”
This completes the proof.
1.) I wasn’t arguing that *screwy *was interchangeable with fucked, simply that you couldn’t make the point using the nonexistant word fucky.
2.) I’m reasonably sure that this is a different *fucked *than in the previous example.
Even if screwed up is a euphemism for fucked up, how does that make it bad to use around kids? That’s part of what euphemisms are for. Would a kid really get in trouble for using the sentence ‘I screwed it up’ at school? (I know you didn’t use that word around the kids, but I guess she could say she was just trying to establish a general principle).
Sounds like she was just annoyed at someone else and took it out on you. Guess you won’t be doing her any more favours for a while.