In the follow up to my escapades with a time machine, everyone’s least-favourite dick has got himself a new toy.
Now I’m a Dick with a Teleporter and I’m look for new and interesting ways to screw the world up.
The teleporter will allow me to transport objects (including living material) up to the size of a London double-decker bus anywhere in the universe. The transporter works on a similar principle to the transporters of Star Trek, so the person (if you choose to transport a person) coming out is exactly the same as the one going in (no weighty ethical or philosophical quandaries here). As in the time machine thread, the teleporter is a one-shot device, one-way only…you send it you lose it, but you can beam something to you, or beam something away from you, or if you’re clever, beam something from one distant place to another distant place.
The only rule is, you can’t kill me, so no transporting a London bus-sized chunk of a neutron star into the centre of the earth or anything tricksy like that.
Well, what kind of target locator is on this device? Cause it really depends on how you can target what you want to transport. Can you find things you didn’t know were there, or do you have to already know about the existence of a thing before you transport it? If you have to know of the existence of a thing beforehand, is it enough to be reasonably certain that it exists, and the machine can find it for you, or do you have to also provide an accurate location?
You have to know the dimensions of what you’re transporting and have a rough idea of where it is (within 50km), the transporter can get a lock after that.
Figure out what preacher is the biggest, most publicly visible proponent of “Rapture” theology. Then when he’s in the middle of a sermon on the subject, preferable on TV, beam him and and as many of his congregation as the teleporter can handle away someplace they won’t be found. Into the Sun, say.
Teleport anything more massive than a nuclear bomb to well-surveilled public place in a country with nuclear weapons. I predict a nuclear war in a matter of days - as every country tries to figure out which of its enemies has a teleporter, and attempts to destroy that enemy before the enemy can use the teleporter to destroy it.
I’m going to transport everything out of the Oval Office. When the President comes down in the morning , he will see an empty room. “hey Who took all my stuff?”
Does the teleporter have a ‘continuous’ setting that constantly removes material from a defined volume as you move that volume around? 'Cause there’s a little sculpting I’d like to do on the back side of Mount Rushmore.
Hmm, given the limitations… I think Andy L has a solid idea, but take it a little differently, I think.
Figure out where a nuclear missile is. Nation probably doesn’t matter that much. US, Russian, or perhaps India or Pakistan. Teleport it to a couple hundred kilometers above the capital of an opposing nation and let it fall. It won’t detonate, of course, but it’s sure going to make people nervous. If you do this between India and Pakistan, I’ll bet a nuclear war breaks out right quick.
