SDMB Adventures

I think we tried this before, and it failed miserably. Oh well, let’s try it again. We will play a text adventure with me as the “DM” (or “computer”). The general rule, at least at this point, is that I’ll try to incorporate as many of your commands as possible in an update. I’ll do my best to execute them in an order that allows the greatest number of commands to be used. In the case of mutually exclusive commands, I’ll choose by DM fiat – usually meaning whichever I can come up with the best, funniest, or most story significant response to (unless there’s overwhelming support for one or the other). I have done no planning, so the rules of the game and details of the setting are basically going to be invented as we go along. Feel free to chatter and discuss, but clearly mark your commands. I will be marking in-game statements (as opposed to my personal chatter or commentary) with

Indented text

It will probably be easiest if you all do to. If you run multiple commands, either demarcate them with list tags or use “>” i.e.

> Do something
> Do something else

To make it easier for me.

Let’s begin

You exist in an endless void. In fact, you’re not entirely certain you exist at all, but it’s probably best to not dwell upon your probable nonexistence. Before you is a Cosmic Egg – which is also probably a non-existent abstraction.

The probably nonexistent Cosmic Egg seems to be waiting for something.


> I check the Cosmic Egg for traps

> Check the Cosmic Egg for traps

You find, unsurprisingly, that there are no traps, probably nonexistent or otherwise, around the Cosmic Egg. After your search you swear you can hear the definitely existent sounds of traps arming. The now slightly larger and possibly more existent Cosmic Egg still appears to be waiting.

(Normally I’ll wait a few hours or a day for commands to pile up, but I figured this update gave a useful hint as to what’s going on here).

> Go to other egg

>Take Cosmic Egg
>Take Cosmic egg
>Scramble eggs

To be clear, the Cosmic Egg is the same entity as the Cosmic Egg, except larger and slightly more existent.


>Chuck egg at etv78

>eggzagerate eggistentialism

You go to a previously undiscovered Cosmic Egg that appears to be just as non-existent and small as the Cosmic Egg was before you checked it for traps.

Your non-existent appendages pass through the Cosmic Egg, since it’s slightly existent. However, in your attempt you appear to have extracted a very tiny, definitely non-existent Cosmic Egg from within it. The Cosmic Egg has grown into a Cosmic Egg that is possibly existent.

This failure does not deter you from your intention to make Scrambled Cosmic Eggs however. You grab the Cosmic Egg, finding that you can easily hold it. As you crack the Cosmic Egg and the Cosmic Egg, you hear an extremely non-existent void shattering kaboom. You’re not entirely sure what that means, but you’re pretty sure it’s totally awesome.

You realize that in the void etv78 is even less existent than everything else. Though dejected, the Cosmic Egg senses your intention to perform offensive actions and introduces a bunch of Absurdly Obtuse Mechanics to the entity within it. It then grows to a more or less existent Cosmic Egg and looks like it’s almost tired of waiting.

Only a very powerful Ovumancer may make egg puns of that magnitude. Further, the egg appears to have taken steps to lock existentialist thought in the Kierkegaardian Abyss.

>Sit on the egg

> visualise a rabbit

Oops, I forgot to indent last post.

You sit on the egg, but it does not appear quite ready to hatch. Unlike other actions, this appears to not affect the egg. It touches your non-existent mind and informs you that it is requires more form of before it can hatch.

You visualize a rabbit, giving form to the Rabbit of the East. The Rabbit of the East is the guardian of Spring and the patron guardian of Ovumancers. His form takes position next to the Cosmic Egg and begins to shape the mythology of the form growing within it.

>speak to Cosmic Egg

>Denigrate Cosmic Egg

>Look around and see if anything has changed in the environment.

There is no Cosmic Egg, but your words echo through the void, so it may hear you in the future.

There is no Cosmic Egg to denigrate, but if it was still in that form, I’m sure the Cosmic Egg would be very offended.

Everything still seems to be an endless void, the only things around being a Cosmic Egg and the Rabbit of the East. They both are beginning to look impatient.

Greet the * Rabbit of the East.* and offer him the Cosmic Egg

> wish for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

>say “Let there be me, in bodily form.”

>Taunt Cosmic Egg