OK. Heard the first names suggested. Fits in with earlier rumours. Yes I really have little else to do today. Would be happy to discuss Oldham but I suspect the audience for that is limited.
I am a bit confused - I thought that sutton and thompson were being named as rapey people, not as fantasy footballers.
I’m not very bright today.
Aha - just been told the names. Fits what I was told way back at the beginning.
Is this thread taking place in an old folks home or something?
owl names Fantasy Scab team.
Crusoe: I thought Bridge was a striker?
owl: No, he’s Saints left back. You’re thinking of Beattie.
L_C: Actually, he’s Chelsea left back.
Crusoe: No, on strike.
owl: Eh? What? When’s dinner? Jody Morris is allegedly a rapist.
Twisty: How about Sutton and Thompson?
ruadh: Thompson is injured.
owl: Eh? Too injured to rape? What? When’s Countdown?
Have we enough for a Sexual Misdemeanor Team yet?
i hAvE JuST HAd mY mediCatIon.
Sexual ne’erdo-wells XI
Shilton - Does your missus know you’re here?
Micky Thomas (stabbed in the buttocks whilst schtupping a boiler)
John Terry - surely not?
Van Den Hawe - underage no goodnik, married mandy smiff
titus Bramble - innocent man
Peter Storey smuggled peodo porn & brothel owner
Graham Rix - kiddie fiddler
Arsene wenger - we’ve all heard the song
Raphael Meade - bang to rights rapist
kieron Dyer - if nothing else filmed himself, ferdinand and cole on the job
Andy Cole - part of the above pile up
Manager - David Pleat.
That’s a team with great penetration.
Imho, you really need to start a thread of your own, owl.
Anyone want to talk football ?
well that’s the problem right now innit, all this other crap is completely overshadowing what are crunch games for england wales, scotland and ireland.
but let’s give it a go:
England: I am pretty confident. I think England are a much better team than Turkey - who I believe flatter to decieve. Good passers of the ball, but no real penetration. England should flood the midfield and push up on them to stop them passing. In short - they don’t like it up 'em.
I imagine that Sven will start with Heskey and Rooney - but I’d like to see Vassel play some part - he scared the turks to death in Sunderland. They can’t play against pace.
I think we will win quite easily (famous last words).
Wales: Playoffs init. Pyjamastan aren’t going to beat italy. no siree bob. Hopefully they’ll get a soft draw. They are without Savage and Davies too.
The Sweaties: Playoff too. I can’t see Iceland beating the hun - even if this cutrrent team is the poorest germany team in years, they still have the knack of winning these important games.
Ireland I don’t really follow but I hope that Robbie and Chrissie Houghton gert through.
Hypothetical question: Would England beat wales right now?
If Turkey win, “hypothetical” becomes 9/1 odds.
You fellows outside this Land of My Fathers (well, not my father - he’s from Sheil Road) only get to see highlights of Wales matches, but I can tell you that some passages of play are of truly exceptional quality. As always, England look better on paper but I assure you that Wales, for all of their lower-division personnel in key posts, genuinely play as a team to a far greater extent.
Unfortunately, when the defence lapses it really goes to sleep. That 4-0 defeat in Milan was over a period of around 15 minutes. One could say it flattered Italy but against top countries there is no hiding place.
As any pundit would say, it really would depend which two teams turned up on the day, but I offer this: The Wales which beat Italy would beat the England which beat Turkey, and the Wales which lost to Italy would beat the England which drew with Macedonia. However, England really do seem to raise themselves at the play-off stage and Wales have choked at important junctures for so long that habit may get the better of them.
Well now we all no where we stand.
England: A good tough performance, and a very 50/50 offside decision cost us the win. Beckham has got to stop hanging around with Johnny Wilkinson - he’s picking up bad habits.
Collina had an outstanding game, justifying his reputation. I can see Alpay getting a warm receptiion for the rest of the season.
Hard luck to Ireland.
Scotland and Wales into the playoffs - draw at 12pm today.
I can in all honesty see England doing well in Portugal - 39 years of hurt and all that - the team is coming together well and has a strong spine, and other teamms are weak/weaker than usual. We’d still have to beat the Italians though.
Other things we learned at the weekend - The Georgian National Anthem is rather lovely. Rugby is still unwatchable. Even in them ridiculous cycling jerseys they wear.
So it’s back to the domestic agenda and that means Rio. What are the FA to do? Surely they have to apply the same punishment for missing a test as for failing one - otherwise the system is pointless. However it seems that they are already trying to wriggle out of a ban. Spineless muppets.
I wish it were only “hard luck”. It was a disgrace.
/me shifts allegiance to Wales now …
Latvia v Turkey,
Scotland v Netherlands,
Croatia v Slovenia,
Russia v Wales,
Spain v Norway
Well, gosh. Any hints on beating the Ruskies from our Irish contingent?
Unlucky Jocks, I think. They’ll have to play a blinder despite dissent in the Dutch camp.
I think “don’t play like we did” ought to cover it.
Good performance from England (although Villa fans must wonder why Vassell doesn’t play so well for them). Still wasn’t a patch on the mighty Oldham’s well-deserved win over Port Vale, undoubtedly the day’s main highlight. Kiwi international Chris Killen is finally starting to look the part, ex-Red Michael Clegg is starting to look like more than a terrible waste of wages and David Eyres can still win games.
Scotland v Holland - The scots are stuffed. Even if the Dutch have their habitual implosion and tantrum.
Wales V Russia - I fancy the welsh to get through this if they can play their first choice XI (and don’t choke). The Russians play in a very predictable manner that suits British players. THe Irish showed this.
I can see us getting the Turks in the competition proper. England are going to be one of the top 8 seeds.
The main draw is in about a month I think?
Back from Basel and we were Fawlty. One of the most lifeless, incompetent Irish performances I’ve seen. Usually we compete, even when we’re shite. On Saturday we lost to a very average team in a desperate match. It was Keystone Cops at the back, no bite in midfield and nothing but huffing and puffing up front. They looked as if they had no game plan but I suspect they were told to keep it tight for the first 20 minutes and the early goal left them in tatters. Still, at least it was easy to get a pint in the ground.
A sobering statistic is that we haven’t beaten a respectable team away from home in a qualifier since we beat Scotland in 1987. This was discussed on the plane on the way over and we should have had an unpatriotic punt based on the obvious conclusions.
On the upside, my suspicions that Switzerland would be a bit dull and seriously scaldy proved to be unfounded. The bars were packed and the Swiss fans were a good laugh. An advantage of Ireland becoming so extortionate is that you can go to places like Switzerland and they don’t seem that expensive.
Overall though, bollix.
I’d blame those previous “English” managers for raising expectations.
Norway v Spain should be fun.
Norway captured the 2. place after an impressive number of lucky goals and mistakes by referees and finished with a convincing 1-0 victory over Luxenburg.
At least our manager leaves when we loose to Spain.
It’s a measure of Ireland’s fall from grace when you start thinking of Scotland as a respectable team…
Our respect for them grew enormously when they beat Bulgaria in Sofia shortly afterwards to send us through to Euro '88. And even more so when they didn’t pick Ray Houghton who scored in our 1-0 defeat of England in the first match of that tournament.
Aaah memories, like the corners of Frank Stapleton’s head…
It’s difficult not to be curious about yet another draw that keeps the ‘big’ teams apart, this time Spain, Turkey and The Netherlands. It’s equaly difficult (for me) to believe the authorities would actually fix anything but it does keep happening . .
Last night someone very kindly solved the conundrum for me of what happens if and when Sven leaves after Euro 2004, and in a splendidly symmetrical way. There are very few I’d be immediately happy with but one of them would be the (then) newly available Launderers manager; John Inman for Sven ? Why not ?
btw,
Two days later: Redknapp set for return