Well, it’s that time of year again! Daylight savings time usually is the start of the season that I most dread - winter. I could deal with the cold but the lack of sunshine has a profound effect on me and I get depressed and anxious. We try to escape to Florida for a week in February every other year because by then I’m feeling pretty bad. We went last year but I’m planning to organize another trip this year, it really does make a difference.
Anyhow, I’m already starting to feel anxious and it’s pretty early for that. My husband and I went out with some relatives over the weekend and I found myself second guessing things that I said and imagining that my SIL couldn’t wait for the evening to end. She is very reserved and it’s difficult to have conversations with her because I never know what she’s thinking. My sister hasn’t called me and we usually talk often. I know why she’s upset - because I took mom out to eat last weekend. My mom and sis do everything together and sis is very territorial.
I wish my sister wasn’t so weird about these things and we could have a normal relationship. It’s something that has hurt me for years and has had an effect on how I view myself. Mom and sis get together every weekend, travel together, run errands together, etc. Very seldom to they include me in these plans. I don’t think there is anything malicious in that, I live about 45 minutes away. I see and talk to my sister fairly often and both of them come over to see me when I invite them. I’ve given up on doing things one on one with mom for the most part.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to take mom out to dinner, just the two of us. It’s been too long. Anyhow, I knew what was going to happen and it has, sis has not called me since then. She’s very emotionally attached to mom. My husband and I went on a long weekend trip with my parents and a few other relatives about six months ago and my sister was not invited - she stopped talking to mom for weeks, which really really upset mom. It wasn’t anything personal, only financial, you see… mom pays sis’s way for every trip. Sis has been unemployed for well over two years. For that trip mom decided she wasn’t going to do that and I doubt she will ever make a decision like that again.
Sorry to ramble. Anyhow, usually I do my best to shake these things off but I’m getting depressed and anxious over it all and it’s only November. What do you do for SAD? I plan to eat healthfully and exercise. Do you have any suggestions?
I know people who suffer from SAD and say that those lights they make for it are helpful. They actually make a portable light bank that you put in the room where you are and that affects the brain in some way. I don’t feel that I have a problem other then I hate winter generally. Yet I do seem to feel better by leaving my florescent workbench light on.
Lights are, indeed, your friend. If you cannot afford a light bank, go down the hardware store to the lightbulb section, and look for plant lights, they make one that is cheap, (Under $5), and will fit in any standard light socket. Get two or three and put them in the lights you are most exposed to, on a side table in the livingroom, perhaps, overhead in your kitchen, maybe, or a desk lamp, where you work, wherever you’ll get maximum exposure.
I did this, one year, because I was worried about some houseplants, and it worked really well for me, too!
They aren’t expensive, you’re going to have those lights on anyway, it’s simple and easy to try. It made a difference for me.
Were I a rich man, I would pack my bags and follow test cricket around the globe, taking in the southern hemisphere’s spring and summer months - as it is i’ll have to make do with the sun lamp work bought me and watching the cricket on HD TV, it’s almost like you’re there, and not huddled by the fire at 3am :smack:
Methinks your sister is the source of your anxiety and troubles, not the weather. The weather will change - you know deep down, eventually, the sun will come back and shine, streaming glorious beams into your windows long after dinnertime. Your sister, however, will most likely never change, and IMHO she and your mother have one helluva co-dependent relationship. (How old is your sister, anyway?)
Look into your own eyes in the mirror and explain to yourself, patiently, that your sister being “weird” and “territorial” shouldn’t interfere with you having some one-on-one time with your own friggin’ mother. She sounds like a yappy little untrained Yorkie - annoying and in the way, but not be any means powerful enough to interfere.
I get crabby when the sun is gone for a long time, too. Walks in the sunshine, no matter how chilly the air, whenever I can steal a few moments outside, help a lot. I read somewhere that the blue wavelengths from the sky are especially beneficial, so (placebo affect alert!) I try to look up at the azure sky whenever I can see it and attempt to draw peace and comfort from that. I hope you can, too.
I get the winters blues immediately after daylight savings ends. I hate, hate, hate having it go dark by 5:15 pm. It sucks. I never go out to eat in the winter. Too depressing to bundle up in a coat and go out in the dark at 6pm just to eat.
I’m edgy, my temper is shorter. I count the weeks until Spring.
If I had the money, I’d have two homes. So I’d never see winter and early darkness again.
I just try to get out of the house in the winter. I get really down every year after savings time ends. Generally I’m obsessed w/ NFL, so depression doesn’t kick in until February, my brain has something to do. This year I’m feeling it sooner. Get out of the house in the daylight every chance you get, even if it’s just the weekend, even if it’s cold. Don’t just go for a drive, but get out of the car and go for a short walk.
My sister is in her mid 50’s. I thought about this today and realized that I need to let this go. Not talk about getting past the issue and continue to let it bother me, but really figure out a way to make peace with it. I think what it comes down to is that I’ve always had the feeling that something is wrong with me when my two closest female relatives don’t care to spend much time with me. Ouch.
As for the sunlight, I’m going to chase it (and the blue sky). During my lunch break I’m going to get outside when it’s sunny, even if I have to sit in my car with the heat on. I’m also going to get those lights - thanks for the suggestions. I did get outside today and it helped more than I thought it would.
The lights are good. As well as getting natural sunlight.
I’ve found out this year that taking a vitamin D pill everyday helps me a ton. I’ve been much much less stabby and feel better everyday as it gets darker each day and lighter later every day. Seriously, try the vitamin D.
Winter is generally my favorite season, but two years ago we moved to the Boston suburbs. We’re in the far northeast corner of Eastern time, so the sun sets way earlier in the day than it did when we lived in the Cleveland suburbs (where we moved from). I left work at 4pm today and the sun was at the horizon, about to set. And solstice is still a month away. It was totally dark by the time I got home from work. From my part time job. Where I get to leave at 4pm. It is a bit depressing.
I work at night, so when I sleep during the day I rarely see the sun all winter. Plus we get many many cloudy drizzly days in the PNW, so even when I’m up during the day it’s rare to see the sun. This last year I made a small light box out of a tool chest and a shitload of CFLs, I’m growing pepper plants in it. I put my face in there for a few minutes once a day, and the dazzling brilliance really perks me up some. I’m also taking Vitamin D pills this winter. I refuse to be depressed this year.
I’m about to place an order for this since it’s that time a year again. Vitamin D doesn’t help everyone, but it helps a lot of us. It can’t hurt to try taking one a day yourself.
I’m dreading this winter as well. I’ve been blissfully zonked on pain killers for the last 2 winters and suffered zero depression. Its already starting to hit me now, along with anxiety and a scrambled thought process. What’s frustrating is it isnt because of any actual events in my life. It’s just the way it is. I’m definately planning on escaping this frozen hell a couple times this winter including a trip to Japan in Feb.